this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 120 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Based on that photo I expected the woman lessons to be "fight, bleed, groan" too.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 61 points 1 month ago

They already know how to do those things, right boys!?

I'm sorry

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I was ready for the second half. I was disappoint.

[–] loomi@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I fight bleed and groan monthly 🤷‍♀️

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

that's why you don't need to be taught those things. you need lessons on long hair and pink

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Women, smh. Do we have to explain everything‽

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I fight, bleed and groan every time I go to the toilet.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago

That phone # is for a Denny's in LA too.

"Hi, can you teach my daughter to long hair?"

"Sir, this is a Denny's."

[–] WeeSheep@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why do men need to learn to groan? Are they giving birth?

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Never have I heard someone quite as well capture the appropriate sound to make when you've achieved "yeah sex is great but have ya..." for gushing over all the specs that make something you're showing off so awesome.

It works for cars, it works for stereo systems, it works for a new smoothie blender, it even works for the wildly unhealthy recipe you invented that's dripping the most decadent yet delicious shit you could cram into it before serving it to your friends like you make Gordon Ramsey look like a Killer Cook.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe, but have you ever heard anyone else do it? Would YOU do it? If you heard a friend excitedly Tim Allen grunt, would you ever really look at them the same?

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[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago

Sounds like something someone who doesn’t know how to PINK would ask…

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I'm a man, and I'd like to learn how to pink.

[–] meleethecat@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I blue myself!

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Blue used to be for girls as it was seen as more “dainty,” while pink used to be associated with boys as it was seen as the stronger color. It didn't change until the 1950s when some big advertising campaigns pushed pink as a feminine color exclusively for girls.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Red was the manly color, it was seen as regal. So light red (pink) was the color of the boys. Blue was the color of the virgin Mary and light blue used for femal children.

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[–] PixellatedDave@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah pink was man's colour because it is the colour of just cooked steak.

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You are in luck. Pink was a verb before it was a color.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

It's super easy, you just use pinking shears!

[–] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Take off your skin.

[–] pelletbucket@lemm.ee 38 points 1 month ago (3 children)

feels like something the boys from Always Sunny posted

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

"It's a bicep!"

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

He teaches to groan. NOTHING SEXUAL.

[–] sudoroot@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

Needs more veins

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Man I should offer lessons on adulting. Lesson 1, nobody is doing it well, everyone is faking. Lesson 2, we're all jealous that you're still a child, milk that shit. Lesson 3, stop listening to old man complain, go have fun.

I think that's worth a hundred dollars right?

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think that's called a "life coach".

[–] Kaboom@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Throw in stuff like how to pay taxes, change a flat tire, and what an APR is, and you have a good class going

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Oh if we have to go over taxes then I'm going to have to charge another 100, maybe as an extra day kind of thing? A real life DLC?

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[–] Freefall@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Jokes on us, they are just scamming MAGAs for 1000s a session

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This seems like a trap of some sort and people in general shouldn't be left alone with either of them individually or at the same time.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Yeah, If I had kids, I would keep them as far away as possible from these people.

I'm no doctor, but that man is absolutely experiencing some kind of steroid-induced mania.

Otherwise, if it's not real, it's an excellent shitpost.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Someone reported that the number is for an L.A.'s Denny's. As if the "pink" wasn't a flag that it was a joke.

[–] aniki@lemmings.world 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Can that dude BE on any more steroids?

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Yes, yes, there's always room for max growth. If he really juices it up and eats a couple cows per day, he can get to that next level. Beefcaaaaaake!

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

I for one support him on his gender affirming medical procedures.

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

Not without his heart exploding

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

As long as they don't offer to teach poster design...

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whats funny to me is people who want for their kids something they see inadequate in themselves. Like obviously as a man you can't teach your kids to be a man then you must not know how.......

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I kinda feel like that's the entirety of good parenting. Some things have higher or lower priorities, but ideally, I want my children to be more competent than me in everything I know how to do and more.

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[–] halvar@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)
[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Sounds like you could use some lessons

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lmao they don’t know how to pink…

[–] halvar@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago
[–] Rayspekt@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I'd like to know what happens if someone signs onto both lessons.

I have a feeling they wouldn't appreciate it.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Offer expires... now.

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

Is this Jhony Lawrence pamphlet?

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