this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 265 points 1 month ago (5 children)

But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he's literally Fortran.

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 139 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] asbestos@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

The heart is blackened.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Nominative determinism.

[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 82 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

fucking golf clap

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 15 points 1 month ago

I've actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.

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[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your dentist's name is Crentist?

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[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 187 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My parents called me Basic.

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You’re the APL of their eyes

[–] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 month ago

Ooh that's a good one

[–] konalt@lemmy.world 174 points 1 month ago (6 children)

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

[–] brlemworld@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

I understand these references.

And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

[–] Shameless@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 16 points 1 month ago

Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

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[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 136 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 16 points 1 month ago

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.

[–] Outsider9042@aussie.zone 76 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago

"We're out of BORT license plates!"

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[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 75 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

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[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 74 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I named my daughter Rubyonrails

We call her “On” for short

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 month ago

Little Ruby Rhonda

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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 70 points 1 month ago

Cody C. Sharpe

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 61 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know what, if I have a boy one day, I'll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won't develop a lisp

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 29 points 1 month ago

Or a stupid wager.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 60 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Frederic@beehaw.org 26 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I learnt COBOL (I'm old) it's a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it's done automatically pretty well.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

And it seemed like there's not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn't really use it for small projects.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

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[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

[–] neclimdul@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[–] Scribbd@feddit.nl 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[–] python@programming.dev 13 points 1 month ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

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[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Neither of them are very sharp

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Tailor Swift

Ash comes from a busybox... sh...

[–] pacology@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[–] Presi300@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.

Needs to know fortran/cobol

Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days

Compared to the average web dev job offer:

Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master's degree in computer science.

Pay: 1500€/month

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[–] jaypatelani@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Ada is good name for girl child

[–] snowsuit2654@lemmy.blahaj.zone 42 points 1 month ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

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[–] DeaDvey@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm naming my kid machine code.

[–] ElCanut@jlai.lu 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You'll never allow him to leave the sandbox?

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[–] Suppoze@beehaw.org 18 points 1 month ago

This kid is gonna get rich if they stick to it

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

i'm ready for a perl renaissance

[–] frezik@midwest.social 16 points 1 month ago (4 children)

As a Perl developer: not going to happen.

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[–] Psyhackological@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 month ago

Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...

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