this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 75 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Needs more hoodie and random text and numbers being projected onto his face.

[–] myster0n@feddit.nl 67 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

THIS ACTION IS NOT ALLOWED

> OVERRIDE

ACCESS GRANTED

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 34 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

No, no, first you need to reroute, to be able to patch it through, and THEN you can override the command sequence in order to exploit parallelisms at the core root interface.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

IDE, Sata, NVMe HDD, with an adequate PSU for the GPU. Stat!

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 46 points 5 months ago (7 children)

movie about hackers comes out and is extremely realistic

It's 16 hours long and mostly just of a dude sitting at a computer typing code

It bombs at the box office.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 27 points 5 months ago (2 children)

One of the funnier ones is that the matrix actually did hacking right. It was also so quick you don't notice it.

When Trinity hacks into the power station, it's legit. She checks the software version, which shows an out of date version. She then uses a known flaw in that version to reset the password.

It's the only bit of actual hacking in the movie. They obviously knew that geeks would be checking it frame by frame, so they actually did their homework on it.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Hackers shows "real hacking" in the form of social engineering, dumpster diving for passwords, as well as the bit about the pay phones that, once was true if maybe not by the time the movie came out.

[–] snrkl@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 5 months ago

https://lemmy.sdf.org/comment/7438870

And it was actually 0day when the production company made the scene...

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 months ago

Hacking is really a "montage" type activity, but is treated as something you can show in real time.

Like, imagine the A-Team building some weapon out of spare parts but you had to watch the entire build process including measuring, cutting, screwing up the cut, throwing away the part and trying again...

Or, imagine a martial arts film where the hero trains for the big fight... and you include the entire training regimen, showing them getting up at 6am each day to do sit-ups, then following the entire morning run...

Really a hacking sequence should have those zoomed-in calendars with days flipping by and getting crossed out.

If they really need the hack to be in the critical path of the action, it should only be something like:

Boss: We need to hack the satellite!
Hacker: What model is it?
Boss: It's a... let me see... KU-STRZ-4 out of Azerbaijan.
Hacker: A 4-series? We're in luck, NSA's been sitting on a exploit for that model.

Otherwise it's as stupid as:

Boss: We need to defeat Scar Killer in the Kumite tomorrow.
Soldier: I did some basic unarmed combat in boot camp, but...
Boss: You have 24 hours, get training!
Next day, the soldier is massively jacked and is throwing flip kicks etc.

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 13 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I've love to watch a realistic hacker movie, because the shit that hackers get into is genuinely bonkers. For example, some white hats got all the way into Apple's inventory system and IIRC they could've disrupted all of Apple's logistics. Imagine if a black hat got into that. Or the Ukrainian hackers that got into the taxation system of the Russians and were there for a few months. Or the USAians who got into the biggest Belgian telecom and were kicked out years later by a Dutch security company.

Movies or even better TV series showing the time it takes to get into such systems would be amazing. Day 1 phishing, day 40 established beachhead, day 120 gained access to internal system X, day 121 triggered internal alarm and was nearly discovered but was able to cover up traces, etc.

Nobody watches 90 minutes of football matches. Everyone watches the highlights and that's what movies could be too.

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nobody watches 90 minutes of football matches

Um...

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

I guess tens of millions of people count as nobody.

Unless they don't mean American football. That Jacks the number up to probably over 1b

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[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

There’s a podcast called Darknet Diaries you might like. Skip the first year or so and start after that.

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[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 5 months ago

Mr. Robot was fairly good at the realism, and even there it was mostly just good for jokes like this:

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 5 months ago

I could even imagine such a movie being titled "Highlight Reel."

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Don't forget 6 hours of digging through the garbage behind the business they want to hack.

[–] Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Are you constipated again?

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[–] dan@upvote.au 23 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Be sure to wear a hoodie in a dark room so that you can hack faster.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Don't forget the green font.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

With blue lettering projected onto your face, even though it doesn't match what is on the monitor in front of you.

[–] dan@upvote.au 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

and it has to scroll so fast that nobody can read it.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 months ago

But, make sure that if you pause it, it's part of the Linux kernel source -- the most hacker-seeming stuff out there.

[–] LoremIpsumGenerator@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

sudo apt-get update

*im in!

[–] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 33 points 5 months ago (3 children)
[–] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

-Esc twice

-:wq

-:q!

-kill the process

-fuck it pull the plug

-put a bomb in the power station that powers your house

-have a cosmic ray randomly bitflip vim's internal logic making it quit

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[–] M500@lemmy.ml 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Maybe we took it out of context, maybe they mean that they are logged into their own computer 😂

[–] explodicle@local106.com 3 points 5 months ago

Look, it's got full disk encryption and I'm very forgetful.

[–] snrkl@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

FWIW, Little known fact: Matrix 2 used real vuln (SSH CRC32) for trinity power grid hacking scene.

Even better to know: the scene was completed before the CRC32 vuln was public. So the scene used real 0day vuln...

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[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

At least in Mr Robot they talk about real stuff

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Mr. Robot was the best depiction of hacking I can think of. It was fairly realistic while being entertaining too. It shows that anybody who actually wanted to be realistic in a hacking movie could do it, they just choose not to.

That's because actual hacking is actually pretty boring, from an external viewpoint at least.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

One of the reasons I love WarGames is that it shows the hacker character actually doing his homework to figure out the correct credentials to get into the system.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Sneakers is really good about this too. The majority of the movie shows them doing real world research and social engineering.

[–] swordsmanluke@programming.dev 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yup. The fakest thing in that movie is the MacGuffin that can z break RSA encryption.

...Also maybe a bunch of hackers stealing a ton of govt funds, donating it to greenpeace and the NSA not immediately busting heads.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

For how much fun NCIS was to watch it also was such a groan whenever the "code" sequences came up

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[–] Samsy@lemmy.ml 10 points 5 months ago

~~Hackers~~ Porn-Actors

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 4 points 5 months ago

me when i connect to an ssh server

[–] Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 months ago

Excuse me while I transition my terminal to green

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 3 points 5 months ago

The main reason I never got into Slow Horses was its utterly ridiculous stereotype of the “computer boffin”. It was so cack-handed it was almost hard to believe.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

What about DJ Qualls in "The Core"?

While being interrogated in his introduction sequence, he casually folds an aluminum chewing gum wrapper, puts it to his lips and kinda whistles with it for a second, while holding a cell phone in front of his mouth. After this little public display of phreaking, he hands the cell phone over to the hero and says "Here... now you can call anywhere free for life with it".

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