this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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Terms of Service (media.kbin.social)
submitted 9 months ago by Masimatutu@mander.xyz to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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alt text

(parodical) YouTube popup:

Going to pee during the ad break violates YouTube's Terms of Service

  • It looks like you selfishly left the room while our ads were playing. Don't you know that by watching youtube you entered a CONTRACT?!
  • We killed the competition by operating at a loss for a decade. We paid good money to be the only game in town.
  • Now that there are no other options, we can start to make that money back however we like. So turn your webcam on so that our advertisers know you're paying attention.

(Two buttons, first one suggested)

Let us program your brain

Foot the bill directly

all 38 comments
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[–] Endorkend@kbin.social 132 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The thing with Google isn't that they removed the "don't be evil" mantra they held for 2 decades.

It's that in the 5 years since officially removing that mantra, they've done their best to be the most cartoonishly evil they can be.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 45 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You make it sound as if they started after they removed the mantra

[–] Endorkend@kbin.social 48 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh no, but they sure as hell went balls to the walls Austin Powers tier cartoonishly evil since then.

[–] sedawk@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a stable diffusion prompt. Dr Evil Googler laughing and telling YouTube user to drink another verification can of mountain dew.

[–] Zerush@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago

With "don't be evil" Google means the user.

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 92 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Forget YouTube.

Sony owns a patent for a system/concept that needs you to audibly name the company/product the advertisement is for to continue at the end of the advertisement.

https://fortune.com/2013/04/30/sony-patent-is-hilarious-terrifying/

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 39 points 9 months ago

With that power comes great responsibility. If they implement it, they are evil. If they don’t use it but have fees so high that others can not use it without going bankrupt, they are less evil.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 34 points 9 months ago

On the bright side they haven't used it and now no one else can.

[–] don@lemm.ee 27 points 9 months ago (2 children)

In the center of the pizza, the toppings appear to make a sad face, as if the person who drew the artwork for the patent felt bad about drawing artwork for such a shitty patent idea.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

kill me

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

LMAO

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

See, this is the kind of content I love to see deep in comment chains

Edit: though I think you're only one level down from the top - usually I have to go digging farther for gold like this

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 16 points 9 months ago

Verification cans are coming

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well I suppose AI generated speech will come in handy

[–] Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Yeah for sure, except the one I set up won't seem to pass verification because every answer might happen to sound exactly like "fuck you" (to Sony) 100,000 times in a row.

[–] Zerush@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago

There is no paywall, but thanks.

[–] kadu@lemmy.world 69 points 9 months ago (2 children)

YouTube didn't "kill the competition". They never had to.

All YouTube competitors very quickly faced the issues relating to ingesting, storing and moderating video. The scalability is a nightmare.

[–] vithigar@lemmy.ca 53 points 9 months ago

You're completely correct, but I want to explore it a bit more.

It's not like YouTube didn't also need to do these things, but they had the advantage of being more or less the first to even try, therefore had the fairly substantial benefit of being able to grow gradually as their traffic volume increased from the late 00s into the early 10s.

Any YouTube competitor entering the scene needed to hit the ground running and didn't have the luxury of being able to gradually scale up. They need to match YouTube immediately, or be considered an inferior platform.

YouTube was first, and everyone else needed to play catch-up with a headwind.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago

Well YouTube didn't kill the competition, but Google did. When they bought YouTube because it took off and Google videos didn't.

[–] don@lemm.ee 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This reminds me of the Black Mirror episode 15 Million Merits

[–] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Reminds me of the

drink a verification can

Greentext

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/983/286/ea5.png

[–] don@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago

Oh holy fuck there’s a post floating around the lemmies about Sony basically patenting this idea, and the patent artwork shows a guy standing with his hands raised over his head and saying “McDonald’s” in order to speed up an ad holy raging badgerfuck

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 17 points 9 months ago

Fifteen million merits.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Asking to use your webcam is the least realistic part about this

[–] LittleTransPunk@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Even though there's a patent out there for standing up and saying the name of company or whatever they're advertising to end the ad

[–] Blapoo@lemmy.ml 8 points 9 months ago

Only 1 option: Leave

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 8 points 9 months ago

When Google advertises that if you raise your hand in real life then Google Meet will mark you as having your hand raised, this reality just got a little bit closer.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Resume viewimg. Resume viewing. RESUME VIEWING.

[–] BolexForSoup@kbin.social 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The hands going up when the person stands to say “McDonald’s” is unbelievable

[–] Clbull@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

"drink verification can"

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

Doesn't sound very nice

[–] Zerush@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Since I use the MotionBox Video Browser I never visited YT anymore, no need of it. In MotionBox I've acces to all videos from YT and almost any other streaming platform, even from front-ends, way faster and without ads, nags or other crap. Love it. Maybe also PokeTube, when I want to download a Video in mp4 or mp3.

[–] Sanyanov@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Also check out FreeTube. It is more YouTube-focused, but does its job amazingly well and in style.

[–] Zerush@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I used FreeTube before, but when I started not being able to play some videos blocked by YT, I switched to MotionBox and SMplayer, which play it without problem. FreeTube certainly has a prettier UI, but this is not what matters most to me, but being able to watch the videos I want..

[–] Sanyanov@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

That's valid