this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 61 points 4 days ago (3 children)

As a bigender person, THIS IS THE WAY!

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 59 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Are you the one who stole my gender so you could have 2 and I could have none?

[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Maybe.... depends. Is it good thing or bad thing?

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Im quite happy without a gender! Couldn't imagine being any other way. So you'd be welcome to it

[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

If that's so, yes, I stole it from you. It was me!

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thank you :) hope it makes you happier than it would've made me!

Yes, it does I can be beautiful prince and beautiful princess at the same time

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I didn't know humans could exhibit endianness

[–] SaintWacko@slrpnk.net 7 points 4 days ago

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to think that lol

[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well yes whatever does that mean what I just read, of course I can do that!

It means you're simultaneously big and little.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

At first I read this as “big gender” rather than “bi gender.”

For a few fleeting moments, I thought we were headed into a totally different, and possibly uncomfortable, direction!

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago
[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 39 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Stop it Patrick, you're scaring the Republicans!

[–] VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Nah, they're into that. They just won't admit it publicly.

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] 8000gnat@reddthat.com 2 points 2 days ago

and you should be flattered

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 46 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

That was in The X files episode Gender Bender. Everytime they had sex with someone they turned into the opposite gender. Except all the sex partners died afterwards.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 59 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Everyone's sex partners die afterwards, it just takes a while usually!

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 30 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Some prefer them to be dead beforehand.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Droechai@lemm.ee 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Not if you heat them up from storage, you can actually have any temp you desire by using a meat thermometer

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

Sous-vide GF?

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Baby don't cryyyy

[–] TheOctonaut@mander.xyz 16 points 4 days ago

You said this so confidently but just to ruin your day: not everyone's sex partners die afterwards.

NGL, this was by far the worst episode of that show that I've seen. It kinda ruined my binge watching of the show for the first time and I didn't watch any more for a while. There was a lot of causal transphobia that I wasn't expecting. I'm aware that it wasn't specifically about trans people but the vibes were not good.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

I wonder how many times this has happened to me

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 28 points 4 days ago

I've seen art of a shapeshifter that is exactly this situation.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 26 points 4 days ago

Ranma ½ without the cold water/hot water mumbo jumbo.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm afab nb and had a casual encounter with a straight male without explaining my gender. He was shitty about consent and I do take solace in the fact that I queered him without his knowledge.

[–] psud@aussie.zone 14 points 3 days ago

Surely the "victim" would be made bi, having started the event with a partner of opposite gender and finished with one of the opposite. Sort of a virtual threesome - just like a real threesome but without an actual third person

Quotes around 'victim' as they probably didn't notice, unless OOP was prepared and brought a prosthetic penis and wanted to be top

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

No, no, it's only gay if you ram your cock into them. Anything up until then is just foreplay, and ain't no gay in foreplay.

As another user pointed out, anon may have ended up pegging his boyfriend.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 days ago

The ultimate bait-and-switch

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 7 points 4 days ago

Plot twist: they were closeted.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 0 points 2 days ago

Ok but in the middle of - you're pretty much just gonna have to do anal because mid PIV penetration his dick is now somewhere that doesn't exist. Which is another problem altogether