Home to all things "Mildly Infuriating" Not infuriating, not enraging. Mildly Infuriating. All posts should reflect that.
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Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older", so I don't have to suffer through this.
When my grandparents passed away they left my boomer mother a fully paid off duplex...
Which she immediately reverse mortgaged to fund her retirement because she has nothing.
A house my grandmother designed, and great grandmother financed and built, where 4 generations of my family lived and literally died, will be pissed into the wind when my mother dies.
My dad - who was an amazingly racist conspiracy theorist - gave all his money to 2 redhead women he started fucking after divorcing the woman he married after my mom died.
He chose not to leave me anything because I called him out for using the "n" word any time he talked about African Americans.
I'm out $150k
He is out having a legacy. My kids will never know his name, story, or hate.
Damn, I wish my parents had an inheritance to waste.
What's infuriating about this? Why the heck should I inherit something I haven't worked for? I've always told my parents and grandparents that dying with an empty bank balance is the ideal way to go. Hell, preferably be in debt.
It comes from a time where your whole family lived in the same house and the kids eventually take care of their parents. In todays system where people usually dont live with their parents for very long, it doesnt really make sense anymore. People need money long before they get to the age where their parents die. Getting a bunch of money at 30, to establish a life/family, is much more useful and long term impactful than getting it at 50-60. So inheritance is a flawed idea from the start.
I don't think what's talked about enough is kids having the talk with their parents about not being able to take care of them when they get old because you can't afford to take of yourself and didn't save anything for retirement. So you hope SSN will be enough for them. I know my mother always asked me if I would take care of her when she got old.
She would say that's why she had kids. But I had to sit her down and run the math and I said it's not about if I have the will or not it's is it possible and the math just doesn't workout and I have an okay job. I can only imagine what people lower down on the ladder are going through.
There are a lot of boomers that about to get a horrible wake up call and a lot of heartbreak watching our parents suffer at hands of their own making.
They will be drowning and some kids are going to jump in and get pulled under when trying to rescue them and the ones who know they don't have to proper equipment. Stay out of the water and mourn the loss.
I want my parents to enjoy the money they worked their entire life for. I believe work is meant to live, and not the contrary where you live to work. I would 10000x rather my parents enjoy the effort they put for their money instead of dying of exhaustion without being able to use their money
Posting this as infuriating seems grossly entitled. Many of us in these younger generations won't have excess to give to the next generation, why should we feel that is owed to us?
You may be right, but at the same time, you getting an inheritance makes it a lot easier for your kids to get one too some day.
My grandpa wants to go to space in his lifetime, but doesn't want to spend everything he's been saving for my us. I'm like...dude. You worked your ass off all this time. Go to fucking space. I think it'd be badass.
Sure and that's fine, but then we need to stop as a society assuming that generational wealth is a thing, and that parents will help their children. Parents do not help with down payments like they used to, or with other major life events, and so we need to assume everyone is starting from zero
What on earth are you talking about? Generational wealth is not a binary thing. There are people rich enough to pass their fortune to their kids and then there are ones who can't. That's how it has always been and that's how it's always going to be.
My boomer dad: you probably won't get anything because I'm paying [i.e. using my retirement] to take care of my [100 year old] mother
Me: that's understandable
My thought is that if you’re going to give money, don’t wait until you die. The earlier you help someone, the more of their life it can improve. Help your kid buy their first house or something. Then spend everything before you die.
Watched my mom work her ass off to raise me and save everything she could for retirement. She got to do some fun things, but not enough. I'm glad she had good insurance and a little money saved for when she got sick. I inherited a house with a mortgage, taxes, insurance, and repairs that are bleeding me dry and I'm pulling money out of my retirement to cover it. I'm thankful that it's given my son a decent place to live for the last year and i hope to break even when we sell it. I'm fine with that. I didn't earn it. I didn't take care of her for money. If you're only helping your family because you want money, you suck and they're probably better off without you.
First of all, my parents have never had much if ever at all in the way of savings. Tbh not sure what's going to happen when they aren't going to be able to work anymore.
But I'm with you. I absolutely never understood why people ever feel like they are entitled to their parents money. Your parents earned that, not you. If my parents were never able to leave me a dime, I wouldn't give a shit. Even if they had a million dollars. I didn't earn that. I have no right to someone else's money.
I would feel different in scenarios where we are talking about a minor. If a 12 year old becomes orphaned, then yes, they should 100% be entitled to their parents' funds.
But why in the everliving fuck do people as adults feel entitled to money that is not theirs and they didn't earn? Incredibly bizarre concept to me.
But I’m with you. I absolutely never understood why people ever feel like they are entitled to their parents money. Your parents earned that, not you.
I think the biggest implication here is that they didn't earn it entirely. That they at least inherited something from their parents. Which would have given them a leg up and they refuse to pay it forward.
Obviously that's not the case for everyone. For instance, my entire family was poor as far back as I am aware of. None of them had shit or got shit or were able to have a good retirement. So obviously I don't expect anything from them.
This is a bad faith take that only reflect the experiencs of the wealthiest boomers. There are elderly people struggling with Medicare and social security being cut. Remember, there's not an age war, there is a class war.
It is a class war but boomers provide political cover the the ruling class to destroy the country
Don't forget that if we can't paint everyone in a group they were born into with a broad brush, we'll never be able to beat prejudices like racism, sexism, and ableism.
I know poor and wealthy people in every generation. Why aren't we blaming the banks for the 08 crash, the politicians for taking away almost every social service and trying to take away more, and the psychopath CEOs who care about their dick measuring contests every quarter? This generational divide obscures the real issues.
“we set our money on fire and voted for trump. good luck” - boomers
“we love voting for trump despite being poor as fuck because we are complete morons that have been brainwashed by andrew tate and joe rogan clips on tiktok” -gen z men
class issue, not age issue. though i do understand getting frustrated at people who fall for the grift
not eveyone get inheritances. what we need is social safety nets and to collect taxes on wealth.
More like .... "Boomers decide to watch and accelerate the burning of the world because they're going to die soon anyway"
I’m all for the average retiree spending freely and enjoying what they earned. They spent a lifetime working; it’s their money. Inheritance issues create way too many family disputes.
This is fucking dumb. I told my parents to spend it up. I'm not entitled to it
You're entitled to something. The world is cruel but it brought you in. People can't be like, "fuck these kids to life and let them die in a ditch."
So my parents owe me their money because they burdened me with life? That's an... interesting take.
Yeah I find it a little funny that people complain about generational wealth and then complain about not getting an inheritance.
"I got mine."
I want my parents to enjoy what they've earned and to have enough money to handle expenses of aging. I'm an anti natalist but I don't fault then for doing something that was expected by everyone at the time which was having kids, and they really did their best. I have dedicated my life to gerontology and helping the aging population. If humanity is going extinct, let's go out with compassion.
Us child free Gen Xers on the other hand...
Same!
Inheritance is weird. My partner and I stand to inherit a good bit when the parents on either side pass. Both sides of the family had successful middle class careers saved and invested well. Even considering the siblings on both sides, we could inherit an amount around $1M from either side.
But it's weird in two ways. First, it's not something that can be counted on. On either side it could be completely eaten up by nursing home care and medical costs for our parents. So we're not planning our own retirement assuming a windfall from inheritance. Second, on either side, unless they're unlucky, at least one of the parents is likely to live into their late 80s or 90s. So we'll already be in our 60s or 70s.
In other words, while we stand to likely inherit a good chunk of change, it will come so late in life that we won't really need it. Unless our parents die younger than expected, we will already be well into a fully funded retirement by the time they pass.
I feel inheritance made a lot more sense in the past. A farmer or a craftsman would will their farm or business to their children. And that child would take over that business while the parent was still alive, but too old to work it anymore. The child got the business or farm, but in turn had to support the parent in their later years.
But now? You're basically just inheriting your parent's house and whatever is left over of their retirement accounts. And you're doing so at an age where it really doesn't necessarily help you. Sure, if you yourself are unable to retire, then that windfall will be a godsend. But considering how wealth reproduces through generations, if you're in a position to inherit substantial funds from your parents, odds are you probably have a pretty big nest egg yourself built up by then. The people who could really use an inheritance to fund their retirement are unlikely to have parents wealthy enough to give them one.
But yeah, this is why I support strong inheritance taxes. For most people who inherit anything substantial, by the time you actually inherit something, you don't really need it anymore.
Haha, that was long spent before I was out of grade school.
my kids will take care of me when I'm older
with what?
Well that's the question now isn't it! But I'm sure I'll be a failure if I'm unable to take care of (pay for) them
Not to worry, you'll be a failure if you do
Hey, now you sound like them!
What doesn't get spent on enjoying a retirement we will never get, will be claimed by medical bills from failing health. Generational wealth doesn't apply to us, and no one is coming to save you.
no one is coming to save you.
Fact
I'll certainly be out of this world long before I ever stopped to think about my retirement. That's my retirement plan.
Inheritance is clearly societal ill, and even on a personal level, depending on inheritance might cause family troubles
Oh this is me. Their house is packed and they keep buying more shit and going on international cruises. We’ll get nothing.
I am not one of those children that clutches their pearls for family members to give what they busted their ass for away for free. My father just paid off the mortgage of his home. It is his.
And he paid it for over 25 years as people like us lived in and left it. It is just unearned entitlement for any of us to come to him, demanding or expecting something he earned through hard work.
And it is something generations after his wont understand. You try being 66 years old and enduring the grind for so long to finally have something like a home to yourself. And not have a thought of reluctance of just giving it away.
It is ironic considering how much of a clutch todays generations have with their phones. Does anyone think they are the kind to give a home away when it is paid off? You tell me.
We're talking about what happens to our parents stuff when they die. What are they going to do, burn down the house when they die? Oh wait, that's exactly what they're doing, climate change is a hoax to a large portion of boomers, housing costs have risen well past cost of living, university costs have ballooned to unsustainable levels saddling an entire generation of people with debt they can't pay off, we have some of the most ineffective, expensive health care in the world, and oh, to top it off, we just elected a far right government that wants to wipe their ass with the constitution, and usher in the U.S. version of the third Reich. Some inheritance..