Idk where yall live, but literally noone would question me for buying these things. I've bought bulk amounts of caustic soda (~3kg) and the cashier didn't even ask me why I needed so much.
this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
451 points (96.5% liked)
Microblog Memes
5460 readers
1867 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
You are definitely on a list somewhere.
Ye om on a watch list, so I'll go and collect my watch tomorrow :)
No ones ever questioned me about it.
You have to get a few bags of lime with the order
Wrong. You can also do that before a snow storm.
It's kind of a honorary cold hurricane.
At Harbor Freight, “Want some zip ties with that?”
Yeah but every time you get the feet zip tied the wrist one breaks like it's a vaudeville act. Harbor Freight is for amateurs, or folks smart with their money.
This is why you pay with cash at multiple different hardware stores, or - and this is the most effective - simply make sure you're prepared from the start, acquiring each of these as you need them normally and regularly restocking the consumables, meaning you're always ready to hide a body.
Two rules:
1: two is one, one is none.
B- always have a spare.
Anything you consider absolutely essential for something, you should have 3 on hand.
I like to mix and match my lists as well.
Like chikdren and spouses!
Chikdren? Sounds delicious.
I feel like paying with cash is getting suspicious these days. I have gone to several cities in the past few years where they have said cash is no longer accepted. I hated it, but sadly, I think that's going to be everywhere eventually.
Stealing from unlocked sheds it is, then
You can walk onto any large construction site with the right clothes and just pick up anything left unattended.
Garage sales and estate sales. With proper planning the estate sales will be self sustaining.
I carry all of them in my truck at all times.
Then there is my machete and a bunch of knives.
Aka work tools.
When I worked at Lowe’s, I can say it definitely wasn’t suspicious at all when dudes bought chest freezers with crisp $100 bills.
I get it, but what is the rope for?
Plan B if the storm destroys your home.
Entertainment
Shibari.
You'll find out.
Thanks to self-checkout, no one ever questions anything. Thank God.
My home depot now has self checkout in an open area with a few “cashiers” standing by to “assist”.
It’s like you’re checking out on a game show.
Walter White says to buy things at different places. Seems less suspicious.
I feel like with so many cameras they will still find you and it will be more suspicious, but I guess it depends if they can tie you to the victim in some other way.
Shop at local mom & pop stores that have no security cameras. No cameras and you're supporting the local economy instead of big corpo interests.
The small stores I go to have more cameras, no blindspots.
Or just plan ahead a little and get the shovel and tarp from garage sales. Whoe doesn't have some duct tape and rope lying around?
Bunch of amateurs.
That is why you travel by foot/public transit from a good distance away, covered up, and without a cell. Arrive at the back of the lot where the day workers congregate and make the offer for more cash than what the purchase costs to an individual to go inside and purchase some items. Ideally, you'll want to spread these purchases across multiple jurisdictions, days (or more), wearing different coverings, and mixing in nondescript items with the purchases. If the first individual refuses, leave and make an attempt elsewhere, don't make this memorable.
You know, this seems like a lot of work, I think I'll just confess
It's revealing that I immediately assumed this was a suicide joke instead of a murder joke
It would take quite a complex plan to roll up in the tarp, then tape that and bury yourself.
Yes, but that’s the cost of being considerate
The Russians can probably manage it they're an ingenious people apparently
It all starts with spinning yourself up to about 2500 rpm
Yeah, but, fuck Florida.