this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
403 points (93.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25137 readers
2749 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 67 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't know which of you degenerates need to hear this, but: DO NOT FUCK THE PINEAPPLE!

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I'm afraid to ask, but you seem experienced, so here goes: why not?

[–] TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works 46 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Just a shot in the dark here... But pineapple enzymes are strong enough to eat the skin inside your mouth...

Now imagine that but on the much more sensitive skin of your dick

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 weeks ago

Good point.

[–] AEsheron@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Pineapple is so metal, fucking fruit that tries to eat you back.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 35 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

The juice is highly acidic to the point of being able to tenderize meats without assistance

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (8 children)

It's actually not (just) the acidity. Pineapples and several other tropical fruits have an enzyme called papain that breaks down peptide bonds in a rather unique way, to the point that the texture of the meat can become quite off-putting if the enzyme is not used properly

Edit: acidic or not, it's definitely best not to put any sensitive parts of your anatomy in pineapple juice

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 18 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

Pure poetry. Your words have convinced me to keep my junk outta exotic fruits.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

I’d like to be known as someone who “tenderizes meats without assistance”, that seems like a compliment of the highest order

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

Sentences you never thought you’d read.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] far_university1990@feddit.de 17 points 2 weeks ago

Pineapple has enzyme that eat flesh

[–] its_prolly_fine@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

Pineapple juice can be used as a meat tenderizer, for cooking.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They said if you eat lots of pineapple it makes your cream filling taste sweeter.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ThrowawaySobriquet@lemmy.world 61 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] kewwwi@lemmy.world 134 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Purple_drink@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago
[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's how you get maggots

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no vietnam flashbacks

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"What's up everybody it's critical, today I bought the 1.2 million dollar fuckable grapefruit"

[–] Qkall@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 weeks ago

I don't care if I go blind, I don't need to see the price tag anyway

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Somehow, the "sold out" is the worst part 😄

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago

Dude, that's not what melon-baller means.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Where's the link to the video? I remember watching this guy fuck various pasta dishes.

[–] kewwwi@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] PmMeFrogMemes@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

ooh buddy you're in for a treat

[–] tabarnaski@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

The guys name is John Kilo.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Is this guy trying to fertilize a boiled ostruch egg?

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I believe that's a cantaloupe.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 weeks ago

Well they might have to if he got it pregnant.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No I will not fucking hear you out Jeremy

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Bezzelbob@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Bro is single handedly gonna discover the first human×fruit homunculus

[–] corus_kt@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hard to tell if that's a shadow or if he REALLY enjoyed the pineapple

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Rustmilian@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fact : Pineapples have tiny needles that cause irritation.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago
[–] db2@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] RagnarokOnline@programming.dev 7 points 2 weeks ago

A man of culture

[–] MrEff@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

And? What were the results?? This man has done science for us, what were the results?!?!?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

If you can grapefruit your man, maybe other fruits works?

[–] Bruhh@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Your fruit fucking skills are remarkable.

[–] EndlessApollo@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I wish she'd post on lemmy 196, this was a fun running gag :3

[–] yesoutwater@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] ATDA@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is this the prep step for American Pie?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not going to kink shame. At least nobody(or animals) were hurt from his activity.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Someone needs to explain to that dude how new fruit is made.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›