this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Reminds of this classic
Wouldn't it be a "bear naked choke"?
Oh BROTHER this guy stinks!
“IT’S BEEN one week since you looked at me…”
"Head your cock to the side and said 'I'm hungry'..."
I'm sure this may work in maybe 1% of circumstances of super fit, tall, jacked, stupidly tough, experienced martial arts experts vs an "Average bear"
Like the theory is sound, you could conceivably choke out a bear but it would be a motherfucking wild ride IF you can get into place to do it.
No way in hell. Bears have a ton of fur and very strong neck muscles. Nothing to choke. This is why we invented weapons in the first place.
Even in the case of you getting in place and choking it from behind, your arms are still going to be clawed. Good luck keeping that chokehold with your tendons shredded.
Like the info graphic shows .... sure you can try to muscle your way to do one thing or another but usually at step two, the bear has already sunk their teeth into your and torn part of your body with is claws.
While you were thinking of the first and second move, you've already lost a pint of blood, will lose more and you're on your way to dying while the bear bites your arm and swings you back and forth like a rag doll.
Look up the skeletal structure of a bears skull, you'll notice two giant lumps on the back of it's head. Those are two large muscles that operate the jaw ... a massive jaw bone attached to dagger like teeth. It's like a hyper fast bench vice with knives.
Also think of the strongest man you can think of and know that a bear is probably four or five times stronger than that.
So any time you think of confronting a bear, any man without weapons is in danger.
I don't think I could do anything to a bear that would do more than make it angry. Maybe poke it in the eye or something, if it holds perfectly still while I do that. Even then, I would just be mauled to death by a one-eyed bear that suddenly remembers it has those giant claws right there.