Absolutely fucking shit.
Sorry. I thought things would be different. Sorely disappointed is an understatement.
this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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About to get a lot worse!
I know this is selfish and stupid but everyone is so wound up about the election that I didn't really get a birthday this year. Half my family didn't even text me.
A friend still wanted to do a birthday dinner so I texted my sibling asking if they were free, but they somehow missed that it was about my birthday plans and they were having a breakdown (not about the election) so we had to cancel birthday plans to keep them company. I shouldn't complain because I love my sibling, but whenever I told my family about mental health stuff, they always just yelled at me and made it worse. I don't understand why they suddenly believe in depression and think depressed people deserve support.
Also like I said, I know it's selfish and stupid, but I just wanted a day to pretend things were normal before I start scraping money together for my passport and getting my tubes tied.
Happy belated! Hopefully you're able to reschedule birthday dinner.
Thanks <3 I think I'm done with birthdays to be honest. Whenever my family asks what I want I just ask for a party with a cake and they never mention it again. Then my friend tried to at least take me out to do something fun and I ruined it for both of us by inviting my sibling. I don't feel right asking anything else of her or anyone.
Well if you have the opportunity to treat yourself at least, take it!
Happy Birthday! π
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Absolutely horrible. Keeps getting worse. But hey some good news, at least I won't be alive when the US of A finally fucking implodes on itself due to recent events. π€¬ Bigots and fascists; and this is what I served for, to 'protect'?? Fuck ya'll.
Thats pretty big, "at least I won't be alive"... I won't ask "everything OK?" because like, obviously it isn't, even if we just consider the trump thing. But... What's up? You okay?
I am not. Wish there where a better answer. I've died three times in as many years for different reasons. This next years outlook is dwindling mine.
But thanks for asking. Doing the best I can, which is admittily not stellar and not even "OK". I exist, inefficiently.
Ugh i had no clue and this makes me so sad to hear, you are such a cornerstone for this community 
I can't speak to all of the ways that you have "served" over the years, but your service here has not gone unnoticed. I don't pray, but i'm holding you in my thoughts today β€
So sorry for getting back so late, I didn't get a notification for your reply for some reason.
Breaks my heart to hear you're struggling so hard. I'm glad you're doing your best, its the most anyone can ask of you. I hope that whatever circumstances can shift in your favour, do so.
got my early vote in on friday, since i suspected the lines were going to be long today.
today is my birthday. π₯³
sheepdog festival last weekend was great. echo got to hang out and get a billion pets from all kinds of people, which is her favorite thing! she also had her first hotel stay, which went really well. she only barked three times (at the shower).
last night, our first rally submission was recorded, which i sent in today for judging. pretty sure we'll get a passing score, easy peasy. i want to look into some more virtual titles we can do, since i get ring stress pretty bad. π
Happy birthday! :D
thanks!
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Time to sleep, hopefully when I wake up the USA isn't at civil war π€
Sigh ok :(
Sorry. I feel ashamed to be here.
Nothing to apologise for tbh, sane people did all they could
That's true, we tried. Thank you.
Sad, disappointed, and worried.
...Awful?
It's so fitting and poetic that, just when I finally start getting my life in order, the world throws itself off a cliff.
same! just moved to a safe state and started a new job and was about to try to buy a house. just got my gender marker updated on everything. was (still am, inshallah and the creek don't rise) scheduled for bottom surgery next year. everything seemed to be going in the right direction and I had so much hope, especially in the last couple of days before the election when the energy and enthusiasm seemed to be peaking and I was thinking that Harris might actually win.
Now, fuck, I don't know if I'll have a job next year.
I started a job with the federal government two months ago. I'd been applying for like 18yrs; finally got one! Now a part of me wonders if I'll even have a job next year. Potential for Schedule F designation, layoffs of the federal bureaucracy, whatever other shit a hostile administration throws at us.
Yeah, my partner's new job is with HUD... Who knows how that's gonna go.
Oof. I'm in DHS. I'm assuming that in the event of any shenanigans, that'd be a "safer" place to be (though some components like FEMA and TSA maybe less so). But HUD? Definitely top of their list.
Here's hoping for the best. Because that's all we can do right now.
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Terrified I'll never get to vote again. Terrified it's all going to get worse. Terrified for my unborn child.
Depressed since Epstein's Orange friend won. It is a dark day for humanity. As I said in the 5th of november thread I am here to talk you do not need to suffer alone. <3
Slept <5h each day since last Wednesday.
Fucking tired. Sleep hygiene rules don't help.
Will probably try sleep meds today.
I hope you're able to find a solution. Sleep deprivation makes everything so much harder.
I'm curious if this is the last resemblance of democracy the United States will see.
I'm worried for the people stuck in red states, and worried this is going to spread outside America again like it did in 2016. I feel like I must live in a very different world compared to rural americans. I can't imagine how a fascist authoritarian would be the logical choice ever.
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I gotta say, this was a weird week to start HRT.
Dropped off my absentee ballot earlier today.
Update on Linus (our kitty who experienced kidney failure last week): Last I posted we were waiting to find out how much his numbers had gone up. It turns out his creatine went up quite a bit. It was over 3, when normally it should be 1.5 or lower. The vet said at this point it's possible it could go back down (he didn't seem optimistic about this), stay the same, or go up more. We're taking him in again on Thursday to see what it is then. If it stays the same, we probably only have about two or three years left with him if we keep him on a renal diet.
He has a lot of his personality back and has his full appetite back (yesterday was the first time he ate his usual amount of food since he's been hospitalized), but his energy level is definitely lower than it was before.
Sorry to hear about Linus. Kitties are very good at hiding their illness. May all your days with Linus be the best days β€οΈ. And hopefully there are many days left to enjoy.
Despite almost two months of not gaining weight despite feeding on demand, our daughter is finally up to the 41st percentile for weight gain by age and is hitting her developmental milestones. Trying to focus on those positives instead of all the negative emotions I'm harboring right now. Trying to remember that she's a tiny little vibe-o-meter and that my primary focus has to be her well-being in spite of everything else that's going on.
not great
but about to play some gameboy so thatβs good
I want to post my thoughts, but at this point, I feel like the country has gone so far off the rails that I need to keep an eye on my op-sec. Suffice it to say that I'm devastated, exhausted, but filled with a new resolve. This post (a bit of a long read) has been helping me refocus and move forward: https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/
I am autistic and in my country I've been told before by my case worker that I qualify for MAID. This cruel world just isn't meant for people like me, and I am now starting the application process for MAID.
I'm so sorry. I wish the world was kinder.
qualified due to autism? You have not explicitly said your reasons for seeking MAID, and whatever they are, I'm sure that you know what you are doing. I just want you to know that I believe autistic people are one of greatest natural gifts that the world has given us. Y'all have a gift to see the world in a refreshingly-different way from everyone else, and there are many autistic folks in my life that I love dearly. Many of them have survived some very dark phases in their lives, where everything seemed hopeless, and yet today they are the happiest people I know.
Whatever you end up doing, I just want you to know that I believe your existence is a treasure to this world, and many others do as well. But I don't know anything about the rest of your situation, and I respect whatever you decide to with your own life.
What's MAID?
Medical assistance in death
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Good so far. My wife and are currently in Miami waiting for our connecting flight to Jamaica. We have been looking forward to this for months. Getting everything ready was stressful but we are very excited. This will be my first time leaving the US.
I took a photo of my blahaj after her snuggle affirming surgery. I wish I could share it but my app, Sync, doesn't want to upload it. EDIT: I tried with a second client and still couldn't upload the image.
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