Crazy that they spent that much on marketing and I still had no idea that movie was coming until I read articles about how badly it bombed. Did they blow the marketing budget on hookers and blow and call it good?? What the hell happened here?!
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2024 discussion threads
$38,912,465
That's how much the 1993 Mario Brothers movie grossed worldwide. Really pause and think about that.
Let that sink in.
The mario brothers movie made $7,000,000 more than this, in 90s money. One of the greatest disappointments in movie history, which has a cult following for its level of fail, outperformed Borderlands.
That is the orbital nuke of fails.
As a part of the 1993 SMB movie's cult following, I wouldn't say it's the level of fail that has contributed as much as a combination of nostalgia, and just how damn unapologetically strange it is. Someone honestly went and pitched a grimy, dieselpunk take on Super Mario Brothers, with Daisy as the princess rather than Peach, and humanoid/reptilian koopas, Toad as a punk busker, a velociraptor Yoshi, and Dennis Hopper looking absolutely insane as Bowser. And somehow, that movie got made and didn't end up being the subject of "the insane reinvention of Super Mario Bros. that could have been" documentaries, and fan-film homages.
I'm aware that Hoskins and Leguizamo both have said that had a terrible time making the movie because of how disorganized it was, but I don't care, the finished product is amazing.
Hollywood budgets are insane these days.
I watched Godzilla -1. That movie was fucking boss, and apparently its budget was only $15 million. That's less than they spent removing the CGI buttholes from Cats.
Forgive my ignorance, but did they make CGI buttholes, then remove them before it premiered?
#releasethebuttholecut
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/04/cats-butthole-cut-vfx-editor
βWe went to call our supervisor, and weβre like, βThereβs a f--king a--hole in there! Thereβs buttholes!ββ
There was a rumor to that effect, yes. But I think it was mostly a meme π
Calling it now. Next Borderlands game is going to have some referential jokes about this train wreck that are meant to be funny self-deprecation but will actually be transparent attempts as covering up how much Randy Pritchford is malding about this.
I'm honestly surprised we aren't seeing more public meltdown from him. Can only imagine what's happening behind closed doors.
Street Fighter in 1994 is $99m, and adjusted to inflation it would be $210m, while Super Mario Bros 1993 is $38.9m, today would be $84.7m. Rub it on Randy's face, hope it leave a mark.
Uncharted was good too. Street Fighter is campy, but fun.
Yes. Although I would have enjoyed it more if it wasn't called Uncharted.
You probably wouldn't have heard or watched it. So many movies get made with lukewarm everything and nobody watches. Being uncharted got people to pay attention unfortunately
Tom Holland was good, but Marky Mark was a big βmehβ.
And the end action set piece was too over the top bonkers for my taste
Marky Mark is always kind of meh in everything except for The Italian Job, and The Departed. I haven't heard anyone call him Marky Mark in years! Haha. You must be my age.
I thoroughly enjoyed the Last of Us series. I do hope it ends where it is now, but it was some very good TV writing and acting.
Because the show writers are the same that wrote the game, last of us has a very strong advantage. They can't deviate from the plot and key elements because they are too invested in it. But they can change what they feel like is weaker, or wouldn't work as well in a show format. And its really noticable if you played both the game and the show. They've discussed how they already planned it to be a two season series, but they also mentioned if they have enough inspiration and they can figure out a way to make a third season that stays within the spirit of the story line, and they honestly enjoy it then they will.
With the first season being as good as it was, I have complete and utter faith in them.
Would Valve allow an aperture science/black mesa film?
Iβve wanted this so badly for years
That could be so good
And I guarantee if Valve allowed it, they'd be involved enough to make sure it didn't suck
Why would you guarantee that?
I never realized any of those were movies.
Slightly off-topic: might be alone in this, but I actually really enjoyed Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. It's nice, self-contained, has some fun action, some cool scenes, and it turned me on to Jake Gyllenhaal and I've liked his work ever since. It's Generic and schlocky but it's better than the usual videogame movie garbo.
It fits nicely into that B-movie slot IMO.
It's a not awful swashbuckler and few of those are made these days.
And weird trivia: the Alanis Morrisette theme song βI Remainβ is not available on streaming legally. All of the other OST songs are there but that one is always missing.
The Warcraft movie wasn't even bad, they just didn't go hard enough. It was impossible to cram that whole story into one movie. They shoulda done a Hobbit with it.
If they literally just made a trilogy of the wc3 campaigns they would've easily made decent cinema. While the arthas storyline is a little derivative (as most things blizzard makes) it is still the best epic saga they made to date, aside from perhaps the original StarCraft and broodwar shakespearean intrigue fiesta.
The FNAF movie is actually not that bad. It surely isn't masterpiece, but its good movie and also understandable for someone who barely knows anything about fnaf.
I still think The Banana Splits is a better movie, though.
There was a Borderlands movie?
No, and let's keep it that way!
I didn't even realize there was an Assassin's Creed movie.
Must have blinked and missed it.
This is the kind of thing that ruins careers and maybe even production companies. Of course, Eli Roth will never be given a big budget to direct again and in the cast of the film, more than one will drop significantly in their next works.
in the cast of the film, more than one will drop significantly in their next works.
Kevin Hart. There's a feeling already thst we are getting too much Jack Black on our screens but Kevin Hart was a lead and his part just fell flat. JLC is a legend at this point and Cate Blanchett is getting there, they can both coast through a stinker or two with all the accumulated good will. But Hart...
Is it yet another one of those "our adaptation has barely anything to do with the actual games and that is good!" kinda tone-deaf deals?
I watched it so you dont have to. It is not just a bad Borderlands movie, it's an utterly terrible movie period. CGI is bad, characters are ill-conceived, the story is a mess, editing is a mess, everything is a mess. I liked the end-credits though.
Abd I say this as not being a fan of Borderlands. I played the first one for a total of a few hours and somewhat liked it but never got invested into it. Someone who is invested into it would of courses mention that it is an utterly terrible adaptation.
The number one reason I had no interest in it was they replaced Claptraps voice with jack fucking black. Ultimate slap in the face to any fan. Everything else was terrible, but that was the worst to me. Pure Hollywood. "We'll just throw in what we think gamers like and call it a day!"
I donβt think the movie was that bad. Sure was predictable, but it was fun.
The thing that baffles me about Wing Commander is that Mark Hamill was right there and already had an established character in the game's canon. But even with a different story and cast, I don't understand how anyone could have screwed up a bog-standard space opera that badly.
Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat deserve their respective paydays. They're both stupid and fun. That's what the source material is after all. But Mortal Kombat might do well with a little love: just throw a few million at Corridor Digital and update the CGI effects and re-release it.
I mean itβs Chris Roberts. He is behind 750 milion dollar 12 year space demo alpha that perpetually canβt take off and his biggest released game was only released because of external intervention and removing him as a lead
Missing:
Resident Evil (2002) $103m ($180m adjusted)
..of the rest of the movies on your list, I have only not seen Hitman and Five Nights at Freddyβs; but I would be pretty safe in betting that they would both be more enjoyable than Borderlands.