Whooo no new ideas
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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True, though in the perspective of B-movie schlock, it should hardly matter. How the first film ever got ahold of Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stotz (ok, that one I believe), pre-fame Owen Wilson, Danny Trejo, Jonathan Hyde (from The Mummy), and 1st era MTV VJ Kari Wuhrer is anyone's wonder. It's terrible fun to watch. Preferably in Rifftrax format.
John Voight playing Paraguayan Paul Serone, with some sort of delightful accent and everything!
“Snake that big. Worth a lot of money. Maybe, a million dollars, GAHHRRY”
Everything is better in rifftrax format.
JB should take some time off, maybe let us miss you a little
So that we reach the point where we see someone in the role of Annoying Sidekick and think "Jack Black would have done this better, I hope he returns to acting soon."
Hard pass.
I don’t want none unless it’s got buns, hon
Wow I could not think of two worse choices to pick for this movie. Also just make a new fucking movie god dam dude it's not hard.
Alright so I’ve got this idea for a movie based on pythons.
Go on...
Pitch your movie here if it's not hard.
Anaconda except it's giant guinea pigs. In fact, do a whole universe of larger versions of animals. Giant red pandas terrorizing rural China? You would watch it.
A dragon made of mushrooms flys around kingdoms breathing hallucinogenic spores over the nobles, and now the peasants have to conduct negotiations with the neighboring kingdom. It's a comedy.
Let's make it happen! Here's 100 million 
Who the fuck is in charge of sony pictures? Did they lose a bet?
So JB is going to star as the snake, right? Giving KG the squeeze was just him working on his method.
My anaconda don’t want none unless it’s got Paul Rudd, hun. 🐍
Good way to circle their careers down the drain
Are the bajillion other Anaconda movies going to stay canon or are they going to go the boring route?
I don't think anyone involved cares enough to figure that out.