this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

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[–] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 60 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Only thing I can think of that would actually cause this is that bro is playing video games with butt toys in. We should celebrate that he is exploring the wonderful world off butt stuff but might need to have a conversation about moderation

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Sync the vibration with your controller and get back to me

[–] elvith@feddit.org 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wtf, cult of the lamb and lethal company?

[–] blackbelt352@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yup and Ultrakill has an officially released mod that integrates with Buttplug.io.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] blackbelt352@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's a lot more that Buttplug.io supports. It's an entire open source framework that others can build stuff onto to control sex toys. As for why these? Eh why not? Single player games don't exactly require the consent of other players if you're getting your rocks off to game controlled sex toys, and multi-player games should only be used if you do actually have consent.

Specifically for ultrakill's officially supported mod, that's just the kind of thing they'd do. They also made body pillow covers of Gabriel and V1 as official merch. And yes they are in those kinds of poses.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My question was more like, why these sfw genre type games? I am just confused as to why.

[–] blackbelt352@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

You're asking an age old question about humanity that there is no answer beyond "humans are horny motherfuckers."

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Clench to prone

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 months ago

This could legitimately get me into hardcore gaming...

[–] Crikeste@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

Wearing your shoes while sitting cross legged on it would probably do this. In fact, I think that was the explanation on the original tweet.

[–] Just_Pizza_Crust@lemmy.world 52 points 2 months ago

I'm pretty sure this is how

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 46 points 2 months ago

JD Vance's fetish is broader than we knew previously. Gaming Chair BDSM.

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz 32 points 2 months ago
[–] Someguy89@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

It's where babies come from.

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[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago

Only guess is bro doesn't wipe or shower very well and is constantly doing the itchy-butthole-wiggle in his chair.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 36 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Dude farting out chlorine gas or something wtf?
What do his pants look like???

[–] pftbest@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

Hydrogen Sulfide can damage concrete, not sure about the chair tho

[–] Crikeste@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I’m pretty sure in the comment they confirmed it was from sitting cross legged with shoes on.

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

User error. Check.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

No, anal emissions are the only expansion.

[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anal leakage, also too much spicy food?

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[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lemmiwinks has made it out, his tale is nearly through

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Had to scroll way too far for a Lemmiwinks reference, especially on Lemmy.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Shitty gaming chairs fall apart like this. There are a lot of shitty gaming chairs. Funny, I got what I thought was a cheap-ass ikea chair and it’s still trucking along just fine.

[–] CoolMatt@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I fucking hate my Milberget chair from Ikea. I was there a few weeks ago checking out chairs and didn't find a single one that waw comfortible. Which one do you have?

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Markus. Don’t know if they make them anymore, had it for years.

Edit: yes, they’re still made, but they’ve been changed a little and are more expensive.

[–] Spezi@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can recommend the Corsair TC100.

At less than 180€ it was way cheaper than my previous one and is so mucb more comfortable.

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[–] dan@upvote.au 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Get one that uses mesh instead of foam.

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[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You can say asshole on the Internet

[–] AnxiousOtter@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

You can say it off the internet too.

[–] TTH4P@lemm.ee 19 points 2 months ago

He clearly ripped out his skidmark rather than clean it

[–] xytaruka@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Taco bell claims another chair

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

That chair looks ripped up, if it was taco bell it would look more melted and/or burnt 🤔

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I've had cheap fake leather chairs do this because they get wet from my ass and back sweating all over them. But I'd replace them long before they got this fucked up.

[–] NaoPb@eviltoast.org 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hate to say it but your boyfriend is having sex with his chair.

[–] DharkStare@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

I thought it said "his shole had teeth" and it took me awhile to both notice the B and to really be it was for censorship.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

his abs-hole is his tummy-button.

[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

It clearly means Automatic Breaking System hole

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] CoolMatt@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, you know, his bullshithole

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Fair enough.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass, true story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but the next week he did it again! Different cat, same results complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later at the mall and he's buying another cat and I says to him Jesus, Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass too, why don't you knock it off! And he says to me "Thebeardedsinglemalt, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

My couson was a weird guy

[–] Pieresqi@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

His roommate should clean his asshole more thoroughly 😖

[–] dan@upvote.au 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Don't get a chair with cheap foam like that. Get one that uses mesh instead. More breathable, and it'll last way longer. Ikea may have some. The Staples Hyken is pretty decent for the price, if you get it on sale (<$150).

The Herman Miller Aeron chair is still the best, but it's very expensive. You might be able to get a good deal at a store that sells ex-office furniture, but a "good deal" for the Aeron is still $500-600. I think there's some Amazon stores that sell them second hand. If you buy one new, they have a 15 year warranty that covers practically everything. My employer had a pretty big discount on new new ones for home use, from the supplier they use for the office.

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