this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 138 points 6 months ago (1 children)

some secrets are completely acceptable to take to the grave

[–] Khrux@ttrpg.network 13 points 6 months ago

I suspect this is a partner of some kind considering they have access to nudes?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 107 points 6 months ago (5 children)

Honestly? Someone telling me this would do absolute wonders for my self esteem, ngl

[–] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I mean, there have been times where I was recovering from a bad breakup, and a gay dude flirted with me a little...not the same gay dude every time.

It was flattering, even though I'm not into guys.

[–] PMFL@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Omg, what a true answer, it happened to me too. And more than once, if I were gay I wouldn't even have to worry, I've always been very liked by gays, I don't know why, but it's true.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Probably your beautiful cock, friend

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[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

isn't that hellah weird to think about though

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 47 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I mean, kinda, yeah. But people masturbate. They're not hurting anyone doing it. The idea that anyone had masturbated thinking of me would be a self esteem booster. That said, that's a pipe dream. Ain't nobody ever got off to all of this outside of an actual sexual encounter. Lmao

[–] Cosmos7349@lemmy.world 81 points 6 months ago (1 children)

YOURE BEAUTIFUL IVE JERKED OFF TO ONE OF YOUR COMMENTS BEFORE. NOT EVEN A PICTURE

[–] MechanicalJester@lemm.ee 46 points 6 months ago
[–] Sylver@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I’ll think of you next time I masturbate <3

[–] MechanicalJester@lemm.ee 9 points 6 months ago

People thinking of other people when they masturbate gets me off unnnnnnh

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[–] mossy_@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I had someone say they wanted me (as part of a conversation about preferences, not totally off topic) and it was honestly really flattering. I told em I was ace and we moved on. It was like seven years ago but I'll cherish that memory forever...

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[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

it was difficult but i managed it :)

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just need a pic I guess. Haha /s.

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] HottieAutie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 28 points 6 months ago

This is probably fake, but I know conversations like this actually happen.

[–] SaltyIceteaMaker@iusearchlinux.fyi 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

If i got that message i'd walk a few cm Taller

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Jeez, he implanted a whole vertebra into your spine, with a simple text

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 8 points 6 months ago (9 children)
[–] cherryryu@lemmy.world 93 points 6 months ago (2 children)

as a man in his 30s how tf kids not know brb

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 33 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Cause they're always on their phones so they literally never have to BRB. The few of them who still use computers will just open Discord on their phones and continue the conversation if they have to step away from the keyboard for any reason.

[–] rdrunner@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

This is...sad

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

I feel like BRB for me was when I was in an AIM chatroom and my mom had to make a phone call, so I'd have to get logged off. And I'd say BRB but would inevitably never be B.

[–] maynarkh@feddit.nl 10 points 6 months ago

Their parents are also constantly online, so they never get yanked from an online match

[–] Gingernate@programming.dev 58 points 6 months ago

How do you know what tf means but not brb? Holy shit haha

[–] Vigilante@lemmy.today 42 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] anonymoose@lemmy.ca 77 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Okay, but can you let me know what it means after you get back?

[–] Vigilante@lemmy.today 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sure might take some time tho.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Vigilante@lemmy.today 14 points 6 months ago

Though . What the fuck does tf mean tho ?

[–] Tomato666@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

"Big red butthole crying" is probably not the reaction grey was going for tbh..

[–] blackn1ght@feddit.uk 27 points 6 months ago

It's blowing my mind that you don't know what brb means.

[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago

Team Fortress Barber?

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Balls Rightfully Blue.

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