Poor dude got accused of sexual harassment when he was trying to convey his love for human flesh.
this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
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Í wanteaux eaute yeaux
I think this might be fake french.
Not enough accents on those letters.
Yamedekudastop and seeyounara
This just reminded me of a time I, an American, was in France and some French dude tried to talk shit outside of a bar. He said, in a very French accent, "I ate l'Anglais". Please allow me to break down what is wrong with this sentence.
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First and foremost, I'm pretty sure he had not actually eaten anyone and instead was trying to communicate his strong dislike for me.
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He also started off the sentence in English, which was a brave effort, I must admit. Especially seeing how he never learned to pronounce the letter H in his English class (see point #1), this took real courage to attempt to talk shit in a language with which he clearly struggled. However, as you can see in the second half of his sentence, he reverted back to his native tongue, so I can't give him too much credit.
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Finally, "l'Anglais" is French for "the English". As I mentioned earlier, I am American, which is not the same as being English. We had a rather nasty war a few hundred years ago that settled the matter, but apparently they have not heard about that in all areas of France.
All in all, he had 3 major errors in a sentence that contained 4 words. 2 of the words be "I" and "l'".
I think he meant to say that he hates the language
Yes, otherwise he would have said "les Anglais".
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«Je veux te manger», je croirais.
Which also sounds like "I want to eat you" in a sexual context...
That's just because everything french is more sexy.
Why are a third of the words he says "tabarnak"?
Because it's one third of his vocabulary!
Not just tabarnak, something like half of what he says is swears. There are so many people like him around here, even worse in rural Quebec.
That guy sounds exactly like Gerard Depardieu looks 😄
I agree, but he's from Quebec though (and probably doesn't know who Depardieu is 😂)
It's our version of a redneck screaming at birds...
This begs the question of how the French talk about vore
Its je crois
In English, the phrase I was going for was "I would think". It's correct in English, and means mostly the same thing as "I think", with slightly different connotations. I'm not exactly sure how to verbalise what those connotations are, just that in this case it felt better. I think in this context it made it slightly more comical/sardonic?
Obviously, "je croirais" is the correct literal translation of "I would think". But does it not work to carry a similar connotation in French? And if not, is there some other phrase/conjugation of croire I could use to get across that tone?
Unfortunately my French knowledge is almost entirely academic, so knowing how to use it with more nuance than literal word-for-word changes is a bit beyond me, outside of where that is obviously academically inappropriate.
You would need to add a condition to conjugate it that way so it becomes a conditionnel présent, but coloqually you are still under this belief, so I thought it was best to just assume that the present simple was best for your answer.
However you could say you were going for the futur antérieur, but I would think isint in the future...
Je croirais would more mean "I would believe" (conditional) as in "I'd believe it if I saw it myself"
In English it's not conditional
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if youre friendly to said target: Je veux te manger
the polite way when referring to some stanger and you want to want eat them. Je voudrais vous manger
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Cher ami, je veux te manger de façon cannibale. C'est à dire que je souhaite te dévorer, cru ou cuit, de manière litterale. S'il te plait n'y voit aucune utilisation du second degré ni une quelconque forme d'allusion sexuelle, j'ai trop de respect pour toi, bien que cela ne signifie pas pour autant que je sois insensible à tes charmes mais c'est un autre sujet.
Of course if the person is a women you would have to adapt a few words. Also if the person is not your friend change it to Madame or Monsieurs.
Vas-y bouffe moi on s’en fout des termes, dévore moi!
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*In the style of Nine Inch Nails*
🎶I wanna eat you like a cannibal🎵
Why does my brain sing it in the tune of wrecking ball?! I specifically requested Nine Inch Nails!
Haha I like this, too.
"I want you inside me ...for a determinated ammount of time"
"I'd like to wrap my mouth around all the parts of your body."
J'accuse, mon petit fromage
I see "fromage" and my mind instantly went to that one Dexter's Lab episode
An entire generation ruined by one small segment of one small show. I do too lol
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I actually have an answer in song and animation for that!
https://youtu.be/rb-wk0ATuvI?si=l6p86Y1wDjTkHg2M
(It's "Je veux te manger le corps", I believe?)
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://piped.video/rb-wk0ATuvI?si=l6p86Y1wDjTkHg2M
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
That reminds me... There was an exhibit called Body Worlds, not sure if it is still around. But my family was in Montreal and we decided to go, but it's Montreal so everything French and we got a kick out of its name "Le Monde du Corps" which I mean is much more straight to the point... but we all thought it was hilarious.
French isn't real lol
Tu est mon repas ce soir ;)
Voulez-vous manger avec moi, ce soir?
Je veux languer ton trou de beignet jusqu'à ce que j'aspire toute la crème
Mon Dieu!
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