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Opinion | Want employees to return to the office? Then give each one an office (wapo.st)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Peaces@infosec.pub to c/technology@beehaw.org

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cross-posted from: https://derp.foo/post/119697

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[-] FaceDeer@kbin.social 92 points 10 months ago

Can I bring my dog to that office? Will it have my fridge there, and my kitchen? I'd also want a teleporter so that there's zero commute time.

I think we're a bit beyond just rebelling against the "open office" concept.

[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 32 points 10 months ago

I would settle for just the teleporter, so home is still seconds away. Then I would have a fridge, and private bathroom, and access to my dog.

Can it be like the doors in Monsters Inc? I've got wall space for a door.

(Teleporters, even linked teleporters would be such a game changer)

[-] entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org 24 points 10 months ago

Fuck that, I don't want my boss coming into my house through a teleporter.

So many employers act like they own their employees as it is.

[-] RoboRay@kbin.social 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Maybe if there was a controllable delay on the teleporter...

NOTIFICATION: Your boss has entered the teleporter buffer. Allow materialization? [YES] [NO] [ASK ME AGAIN LATER]

[-] TheButtonJustSpins@infosec.pub 13 points 10 months ago

Allow dematerialization. I'll think about the rematerialization.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 points 10 months ago

[FACTORY RESET] selected, are you sure? Please do not power off while occupants are in the chamber.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Hey @entropicdrift, I'm sorry to wake you--you looked so peaceful--but do you have the cover page for this TPS report?

[-] kittyrunningnoise@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

teleporters will have keys like vehicles and buildings, to prevent unauthorized access.

[-] asexualchangeling@lemmy.ml 9 points 10 months ago

+1 for monster's inc doors, I'd like one of those to visit my family more easily

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 1 points 10 months ago

I want my door randomized to keep things interesting.

[-] jmp242@sopuli.xyz 4 points 10 months ago

I practically would love teleporters. The philosophical issues would keep me from just diving right in though.

[-] circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yeah, this take reads like some corpo shit. The advantages of remote work are many, as you mention. It's a red herring to say people don't want to come back because they don't have their own space.

No commute is a giant plus and pretty much makes any return a deal-breaker.

Being in your own space (not space given to you by your company) is another giant plus.

The fact that I can be in the shower 20 mins before that morning meeting is huge.

There's an attack on remote work right now, funded by all those middle managers who feel like they've lost some of the little power they had. Don't buy into the smear campaign. There's never been a clearer benefit to workers. Hell, many of them even designed the systems in place to make it possible (yes, looking at you Zoom -- now you're a joke).