That man is truly living. Can you say the same?
this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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Victim-less crime.
Let he who has not wanted to swim naked in a Bass Pro Shop aquarium cast the first stone.
Just wait until he's out of the aquarium
... and the stones start flying!
Gotta say, I can see the appeal.
Yet another crime amusing enough to make me question if we need to get the court involved.
This truly made me laugh out loud. The actual story is even funnier than the headline.
does this have to be a police matter
Somehow guessing the toxicology report on this guy is going to come back with a short education on recreational substances in the "positive results" box.
Much more likely he's manic af. If I had a nickel for everyone who ended up at the psych hospital I worked at after running naked in public in the throes of a manic episode, I'd have several dollars. Most often drugs were not related when the clothes came off, it's straight up bipolar and it knows no socioeconomic or cultural bounds. Would be mortifying to end up in the national news like this guy, or the Kony 2012 guy
Every part of this headline is more insane than the last.
And then the article itself is somehow even more insane.
and they somehow skipped over him crashing his car outside before running in
for a moment I thought maybe this was a planned dare or something but no, this was just a guy who had crashed his car and saw an aquarium and made some off the cuff choices.
"Do what you must, for I have already won."
Florida man go on vacation?
They visited Alabama's inland Sea World.
Hellabaman is edging up on Floridaman for first place.
I just naturally assumed this happened in Florida. Glad some other state is causing a brief distraction.
Florida Man: I am da best!
Alabama Man enters the chat
‘Yes, Hi,.. my name is Jimmy Bobby Bo Billy— the reason I’m knocking on your door today is because I’ve been registered as a sex offender, and I’m required to let you know that I once jumped naked into a Bass Pro Shop aquarium’
How come whenever I go to a Bass Pro Shop I never get to see a naked 42-year-old man leaping into the aquarium? I swear life is not fair.
You need to be part of the secret Lemmy group that coordinates it. Keep up your desire. We have interest in you.
Praise the lawd!
Favorite news of the day. So funny and relative to the rest of the world is harmless. Gogo redneck stupidity. LOLOLOLOL
bass-naked
This should be an event in the Olympics.
There's one in Springfield with a bunch of aquariums.
I think almost everyone briefly thinks about doing it, but clearly he lacked the part of his brain that says "lol but? no."
"This wouldn't be illegal if Bass Pro Shop would just take the $500 I offered to swim in the fish tank. SeaWorld was cool with it, why not Bass Pro Shop?"
These stories always seem to take place at a Bass Pro or a Hard Rock Cafe...
"Alabama Man" has a nice cadence to it
'Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen.
CANNONBALL!!'
Florida Man VS Alabama Boi is the best the Anthropocene Kaiju flicks.
Some teens jumped into our local bass pro aquarium too (not nude though). People were just really confused and blandly watched them climb back out. As far as I know they got away scott free, but they were at least smart enough to not stick around.
Alabama keeping it classy.