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[-] Copythis@lemmy.world 134 points 6 months ago

I am a professional photocopier technician, focusing on office sized, but also desktop laser photocopiers. I am certified in HP, Lexmark, various Xerox models, and various Canon photocopiers.

I say with all of my heart: Fuck HP.

[-] helenslunch@feddit.nl 33 points 6 months ago

Marry, fuck, kill. Which manufacturer are you marrying?

[-] valkyre09@lemmy.world 134 points 6 months ago

Well, shit I must be from Alabama cuz I’m marrying my Brother

[-] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

That's gold, Jerry!

[-] TJDetweiler@lemmy.ca 8 points 6 months ago

Thanks for capitalizing that B

[-] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 months ago

Their brother's name is Brother

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[-] Sneptaur@pawb.social 108 points 6 months ago

But half of their modern printers require a monthly paid subscription to even function. They need to stop doing that.

[-] gregorum@lemm.ee 81 points 6 months ago

people need to stop buying HP printers

[-] Hyperreality@kbin.social 95 points 6 months ago

They did.

They now rent them through a monthly paid subscription.

[-] gregorum@lemm.ee 28 points 6 months ago

zing!

so shitty, though

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 17 points 6 months ago

Hang on, I've had the same Brother laser printer for 10 years. Are you telling me there are for real subscription services for printers now?

[-] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 16 points 6 months ago

Yup, a subscription that sends you ink and paper as needed (printer reports you need ink soon, sends an order automatically)

Some are even billed per-page printed.

If you cancel or remove your payment method: the ink you currently have stops working.

[-] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

Yep.

HP is especially known for pushing ink subscriptions. There was some news about it recently, which is why this article exists, he's justifying their shitty behaviour.

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[-] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 69 points 6 months ago

Does anyone at HP even use their own printers?

[-] balancedchaos@lemmy.world 47 points 6 months ago

Depends if there's a camera nearby or not.

"They're gone? Bring back the Brother."

[-] Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip 24 points 6 months ago

I wish i had the answer to this, as i work ewaste in the silicon valley, but HP isnt one of our clients.

[-] dan1101@lemm.ee 9 points 6 months ago

Probably not the inkjets. The lasers have been good. Old ones were eternal.

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[-] Halcyon@discuss.tchncs.de 66 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's not their printers which are hated, it's their business model of selling overpriced ink and toner cartridges to a price that's higher than champagne prices and using technical devices to make it impossible to use other toner sources, firmware to make printers stop working when ink runs anywhere near low (they define 'low' as 33% ink left), while at the same time ensuring that as much ink and toner as possible are wasted through unnecessary testing and calibration and cleaning processes.

[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago

No, we hate their fucking printers as well. Non-removable printheads and automatic retraction to try to stop you from unclogging their shit hardware. I'd also include the firmware in critique of their printers, what you mention above, as well as limiting black printing if color is low (even with dedicated black cartridges). Arbitrarily restricting scanning on some models, etc.

We decidedly DO hate their printers.

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[-] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

To add to your point, their printers are indeed hated, but it is simply a symptom of their terrible business model and not the problem itself.

[-] ikidd@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

No, I hate their bloated as fuck drivers as well.

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[-] nyahlathotep@sh.itjust.works 61 points 6 months ago

He smiled as he typed.

'Our printers are made to be less hated.'

"Lol," he said. "Lmao."

[-] Etienne_Dahu@jlai.lu 17 points 6 months ago
[-] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 13 points 6 months ago

Despised even.

[-] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 37 points 6 months ago

Can we sue for false advertising

[-] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 28 points 6 months ago

We have some old, great HP printers. Rock solid.

As they die, Brother, my Brother.

Fuck the latest HP.

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[-] knobbysideup@lemm.ee 22 points 6 months ago

They were when HP was run by engineers.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 17 points 6 months ago

HP is a fallen giant that cannot stand back up so uses it's grotesque fingernails to dig itself deeper down into the ground instead.

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[-] Bwaz@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

The HP logo is all it takes to make printers hated at this point. Couldnt give me one even if it included 10yrs of ink.

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[-] Luke_Fartnocker@lemm.ee 21 points 6 months ago

Well, I don't think they could be any more hated.

[-] Xavier@lemmy.ca 20 points 6 months ago

With all the interest in 3D printer and large communities building their own printers, where are the amateur 2D printers? Did we just jump to 3D printing because it was cooler (which I also admit is amaizing)?

I just want a basic 2D inkjet or laser printer that doesn't stop printing because magenta is low or doesn't waste ink to “clean” the print head, nor make up weird errors because it doesn't have access to the internet.

What about printers without ink? Would it be too hard/complicated to use a lower power laser (instead of a laser cutter) to burn/scorch a thin micrometric, if not nanometric, layer of normal everyday printing/copy white paper?

As a child, I remember scorching magazine/journal paper and all sorts of wood materials with my grandmother's handheld magnifying lens under the summer sun in the yard. I was able to draw stuff without burning some of the material completely.

[-] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

What about printers without ink?

Laser printers have existed for a long time and they don't use ink, but they do use toner. I'm gonna assume just scorching the paper has been proven to be a bad idea, because someone would have tried to market a toner-free printer by now otherwise.

My best guess is that it's very hard to scorch paper to a color anywhere near black without creating a serious fire hazard. Even if you could calibrate the laser just right, the next batch of paper could burn because it has a slightly different weight, texture, or composition.

You'd probably end up being special paper stuff something in it that turns black at a fairly low temperature. That's pretty common for things like receipt printers.

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[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

Does this count as false advertising?

[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 17 points 6 months ago

Lmao. Is this real? Why is less in italics?

[-] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 17 points 6 months ago

HP makes my most hated printers.

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[-] helenslunch@feddit.nl 13 points 6 months ago
[-] DeathWearsANecktie@lemm.ee 13 points 6 months ago

This is a good opportunity to ask if there's a better printer company whose printers we should buy instead.

[-] Senex@reddthat.com 39 points 6 months ago

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou!

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[-] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 16 points 6 months ago

In addition to Brother, Ecotank style printers (printers that refill from ink bottles instead of cartridges) are pretty good even if they come from usually shittier printer companies. The ink is extremely cheap and there's no way to prevent people from using different brands of ink bottles.

You have to pay more up front for the printer, but that's because they're sold with the idea that the printer company makes its money upfront instead of overcharging you for ink later.

[-] gullible@kbin.social 9 points 6 months ago

Just adding to this, toner printers are ideal if you’re printing only a few items per year. If ink dries, it makes for some intensely frustrating issues. I’m 90% of the way to finding HP’s CEO and bringing my clogged nozzle printer down on their stupid face.

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[-] perviouslyiner@lemm.ee 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Subhead: "apparently they're being serious" - The Register knows what people think!

[-] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 9 points 6 months ago

!nottheonion@lemmy.world

[-] AnonTwo@kbin.social 9 points 6 months ago

So...it's not an HP printer?

[-] silverbax@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago

My guess if you buy a HP printer, they send a Brother laser printer, which is going to make consumers much happier.

[-] LUHG_HANI@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

Hahaha. Now this explains why MSoft have started pushing hp smart app. Absolute scum bags them both. Wonder how much MSoft accepted to push that software out?

[-] CosmicCleric@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Someone did some market research and found out they're in the dog house.

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this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
367 points (96.0% liked)

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