this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
658 points (95.3% liked)

Memes

45912 readers
950 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 165 points 1 year ago (8 children)

what did I just read? That woman needs to dump that boy. That boy needs reeducation on basic cleaning.

This gives the same vibes as "I don't wash my privates because it's gay".

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 78 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Don't worry, it's r/relationship_advice, so it's entirely made up

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh I know, I spent much too long trying to sneak a plane pun in there...but never had any good ideas take off.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Let your dreams take flight and you’ll land a good pun eventually

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah this is unfunny troll.

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 year ago

Well it is a bit gay if you're an army seargent and your privates have the same gender as you.

[–] Pinklink@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

This happened to me irl. My cousin said he doesn’t wash his asshole in the shower cus of this. Ignoring the glaring bs, me and my other cousin just told him “wash yah ayse”

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“I don’t wash my privates because it’s gay“.

Well, it’s literally balls touching so…

[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

True, my balls touch each other... I must be gay...

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

what did I just read? That woman needs to dump that boy. That boy needs reeducation on basic cleaning.

This gives the same vibes as "I don't wash my privates because it's gay".

Ok but why didn't you mention those sweet airplanes?

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Why did you quote the entire comment?

Also I thought about mentioning the airplanes, but couldn't think of any good puns to fit in. Looking at the other comments, they're better at it than me, go read those instead.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I quoted the entire comment because sometimes the context of responses get lost the further down the comment chain they are.

[–] brb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It just adds clutter to the chain

[–] lorty@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago

Still not as bad as the guy that didn't clean his ass and his gaming chair smelled so bad his girlfriend was begging him to clean it.

[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, touching your cock is gay. When I pee, I just fling my dick around with the gyration from my hips so I don't touch my dick, otherwise my roommate will come over me in the bathroom and start screaming "GAYYYYYYYY". I can not stand the shame I will feel, the looks from neighbors. My peers will look me in the eyes I will see it in their eyes, their disapproval. Rainbows will rain from the sky and the ground will cry blood because I am gay. That's why I will never ever ever tough my dick, worst case is the shower, I use chopsticks when I need to clean it. When I walk, I walk with my hands behind my back so I can keep a safe distance from my dick and have an object between them.

[–] Raxiel@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or dads who refuse to change infants in their care because "peedo"

By that logic, mommy shouldn't change the kids either.

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 88 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I dont wanna know how much greasy, oily mess comes out of the aft end of an M28 but it needs to be hosed down, not wiped.

[–] ours@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When 17, fully-kitted Polish paratroopers start popping out the back, it's time to see a doctor.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

Especially if Russia is anywhere near. It could get violent.

plane bidet sounds so funny

[–] Vuraniute@thelemmy.club 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

literally me. one time my english teacher used "A10" as an example for a highway and i said "thats a plane" so she used "B52" as another example and i said "thats also a plane."

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Fine! F16!"

"You're not gonna believe this, but..."

[–] Vuraniute@thelemmy.club 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"okay, okay. uhhh... what about P51?"

"old one, but still a plane"

[–] Jabaski@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They just didn't use a big enough number. Like F111 is unremarkable, definitely not a plane.

[–] Vuraniute@thelemmy.club 1 points 1 year ago

F111 is a plane too, but since Planes have large differences in their numbers, F117 cant be a plane!

[–] Lepsea@sh.itjust.works 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then the guy goes to lemmy and asks "how to not poo for 3 days" to show his girl that he can change. But it's all meaningless now because he eats too much beans. Today he just stood in the corner stroganoff his beef

[–] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

This is poetry

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

To be fair you are probably better off using a bidet as diarrhea often means repeat events and that's a lot of wiping and you can create sores. Also, with infectious diarrhea the very act of wiping is a high risk event for spreading those germs. The f22 is an incredible flying machine and the M28 is likely not the most luxurious way to travel but it is much better than flying on Spirit airlines.

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

What've learned the hard way the last time I had prolonged diarrhea is that it's better to wash as soon as possible because having your buttcheeks soaked in stomach acid can irritate the skin even more than the toilet paper. It's no wonder F22 took issue with this as she has vectored thrust and hypersonic missles while M28 doesn't. He's just out of her league, she's gotta dump him and date SU27 instead.

[–] toastal@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Bidets are the way even when not experiencing diarrhea & it’s weird so many places it’s no the norm. It’s real weird to find a places without the hose sitting right next to the throne when you are finished.

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 year ago

Diarrhea is a difficult word to spell on a good day, and this chick chose the most insanely difficult way to spell it and still nailed it. Nice!

[–] Flaky@iusearchlinux.fyi 14 points 1 year ago

Whoever owns that M28 needs to take better care of it.

[–] MR_GABARISE@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Man I need me some thebronzejade on Lemmy.

[–] unoriginalsin@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago