Command doesn't work if the creature doesn't understand the language, and that word isn't in the bard's vocabulary
this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
351 points (95.3% liked)
RPGMemes
10271 readers
242 users here now
Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
You just killed him dude !
"Dude, it's a sleeping dragon. If I wake it up, it'll just be pissed at me. If I try and do anything while it's asleep, I'm scum. I get the horny bard jokes, but I'm a little offended you think so little of me.
Besides, the spell only lasts 1 round. I can easily go 6 seconds without fucking. I just think about your god and I go flaccid."
All this is true unless your Bard's named "Donkay".
The movie doesn't actually show if she was asleep or not when Donkey first encountered her. She had her eyes closed and then opened it very quickly, immediately pulling back and breathing fire at him as he fled. She was pissed at him.
Boom. Spell complete
The bard:
OMG, and using Donkey‽ Amazing
You might want to tuck that lip in before a fly lands on it. You should just count your blessings that he didn't use power word autofellatio
Command has a range of 60 ft. If it was 5 ft. the approach command would be pretty useless.
Command the bard to ejaculate. He'll have to ejaculate for an entire round. His nuts will be like raisins at the end of it and he won't be able to have sex for a good while.
If you're gonna do that there's a way that doesn't spend a spell slot
Is that a grapple check or athletics?
Maybe a series of contested athletics check with the opposing rolls getting gradually higher penalties for..reasons..
Your Dex vs the bard's Cha.
A round is roughly 6 seconds, that seems like a pretty normal timeframe.
True. Maybe some post nut clarity, then?
*its hoard
Can confirm.
Am Lemmy user and TTRPG player and use interrobangs on occasion
Edit: wtf. I know I clicked reply under that comment. Oh well
This comment is likely meant as a reply to https://lemm.ee/comment/5804251
Man, it'd be nice to have a fediverse-friendly way to link to comments.