this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Alternatively: NO (startrek.website)
submitted 10 months ago by Stamets@startrek.website to c/rpgmemes@ttrpg.network
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[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 110 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Command doesn't work if the creature doesn't understand the language, and that word isn't in the bard's vocabulary

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 11 points 10 months ago

You just killed him dude !

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 82 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"Dude, it's a sleeping dragon. If I wake it up, it'll just be pissed at me. If I try and do anything while it's asleep, I'm scum. I get the horny bard jokes, but I'm a little offended you think so little of me.

Besides, the spell only lasts 1 round. I can easily go 6 seconds without fucking. I just think about your god and I go flaccid."

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

All this is true unless your Bard's named "Donkay".

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 15 points 10 months ago

The movie doesn't actually show if she was asleep or not when Donkey first encountered her. She had her eyes closed and then opened it very quickly, immediately pulling back and breathing fire at him as he fled. She was pissed at him.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

Boom. Spell complete

[–] GreenMario@lemm.ee 65 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The bard:

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

OMG, and using Donkey‽ Amazing

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 8 points 10 months ago

You might want to tuck that lip in before a fly lands on it. You should just count your blessings that he didn't use power word autofellatio

[–] Nikko882@lemmy.world 48 points 10 months ago

Command has a range of 60 ft. If it was 5 ft. the approach command would be pretty useless.

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Command the bard to ejaculate. He'll have to ejaculate for an entire round. His nuts will be like raisins at the end of it and he won't be able to have sex for a good while.

[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you're gonna do that there's a way that doesn't spend a spell slot

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is that a grapple check or athletics?

Maybe a series of contested athletics check with the opposing rolls getting gradually higher penalties for..reasons..

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

Your Dex vs the bard's Cha.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A round is roughly 6 seconds, that seems like a pretty normal timeframe.

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

True. Maybe some post nut clarity, then?

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

*its hoard

[–] DontTreadOnBigfoot@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Can confirm.

Am Lemmy user and TTRPG player and use interrobangs on occasion

Edit: wtf. I know I clicked reply under that comment. Oh well

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago

This comment is likely meant as a reply to https://lemm.ee/comment/5804251

Man, it'd be nice to have a fediverse-friendly way to link to comments.