Children with stupid names should be allowed to change their parents' names!
this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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The chaotic option, I like it.
Several countries have laws about naming to prevent stupid/abusive/non-traditional names (use cases vary by country)
If you are going to propose a law, you need to define "stupid"
If you're in a state with a conservative Registrar of Names, names that are too "ethnic" will be considered stupid.
Plenty of countries have this. Examples of forbidden names are "Hitler", "Asshole", "", and "Quisling" (name of a Nazi collaborator, commonly used as a synonym for "traitor" in daily speech).
The point is that "stupid" is defined as a name that is objectively likely to severely negatively impact the child. It's not based on "I think X sounds stupid" but on whether "X" carries significant cultural baggage like being the name of a famous Nazi, a slur of some kind, etc.
""
Least deranged QA parent
Misspellings of popular names (Anna but spelled Aeigheynneah) and things that are judged to be too othering.
Judged by whom?
Aeigheynneah
how is that even close to pronounced the same as Anna? most half the word would have to be silent.
look up spelling systems of Gaelic languages (e.g. Irish, Scottish Gaelic), that is not too far off
For example Caoimhe, pronounced Keeva.
Despite having heard the name Siobhan (pronounced Sheh-vaugn), I never saw it written until many years later and in an unrelated circumstance so I assumed it was pronounced "Sigh-Oh-Ban". Irish names are insanely confusing for anyone who isn't Irish and I'll eternally argue there's no shame in getting one wrong.
It already is (depending on the country).
This is already location-dependent. I think Iceland has the most restrictive legislation with a prescribed list to choose from. Other countries have a layer of "is this really a name?" checking as part of the registration process after birth and parents can be sent back to square one.
I think there is a balance to be had where you can't get away with xc1>df or whatever but you could name your kid after a GoT character that tragically turned evil in the last season. My suggestion would be to include a second given name that is more established than Khalisi or Dumbledore, e.g. Kelly and David. If Khalisi Kelly's last name is Knox obvs I wouldn't insist on the alliteration. My point is then your child has a plan B when they get mocked for being called Hobbit in school. They can just go by Henry or whatever other boring name made the cut. That way you don't need to get into a complicated legal situation where a minor would have to override the wish of their parents.
After reaching adulthood legally, virtually anybody can try to change their name. Although the process may involve having to prove harm to get it approved in some places. I think there is a correlation between a laissez-faire attitude to naming and ease of getting a name change. In countries that are stricter to begin with, the hurdles are much higher and can be much costlier.
The thing that annoys me the most about all those Khaleesis is that Khaleesi is NOT HER NAME, IT'S HER TITLE FFS.
That isn't really that unusual, King and Queen are both used as names, so its not that weird. Steven King, Queen Latifah (stage name, but still), King C Gillete (inventor of the safety razor)
Last names and stage names are entirely different species of names. I maintain (based on no evidence and personal belief only) that most of the people burdening their daughters with this name don't know it's a title.
Edit: wait, I tell a lie, my evidence is that SO MANY people called Daenerys "Khaleesi" as her name. "Khaleesi did this, Khaleesi did that, my favourite character is Khaleesi, Khaleesi is Jon's aunt."
They probably dont know that its a title, but it doesn't really matter. The character is colloquially known as Khaleesi, and thats what they are naming their kid after.
I don't think its a good name either, given the TV series has largely fizzled, so its connection won't make sense in a few years time, but being a title first doesn't exclude it by itself (IMHO).
Man. I'm gonna go pout in my nerd corner now.
I'm sorry :( tell you what, when you run for president of the world, on a platform of "rename all Khaleesi's to Daenerys", I'll vote for you :)
That... means so much. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. 🥲
What about Regina King?
Now listen here, smartass. ;)
wait, I tell a lie
You sound like a character in a Shakespeare play! I love it.
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I believe in Iceland's case it has to do with how the Icelandic language works and certain names just kind of don't work with the rest of the language. I'm far from an expert on the Icelandic language, but my understanding is that nouns, names included, sort of get "conjugated" (I'm not sure if "conjugation" is the correct term, I think that's specifically a vowel thing, but it's similar in that the word changes depending on how it's used in a sentence and most of us are familiar with the concept of conjugation.)
There's a few random things in English that do it, like depending on the sentence, you might use I/me/my/mine/etc. when you refer to yourself refer to yourself, but in icelandic all nouns do that in a regular predictable way, so they have to be pronounceable with certain suffixes tacked onto them.
I think they also do the old school patronymic/matronymic name thing instead of family names. So if you meet someone in Iceland whose name is something like "Steve Robertson" then "Robertson" isn't his family name, his dad is literally named "Robert" and so he is "Steve, Robert's Son" so names kind of have to work with that kind of naming convention as well.
So it's less of a "this name is stupid" and more of a "this name breaks our language"
It also seems like they've eased up on some of the rules in recent years, first names are no longer gender restricted, and they've added a nonbinary suffix for the patronyms/matronyms so now you can be a -bur instead of just -son or -dóttir
Let me give you an example of why you can't do this:
I think that "Connor" and "Brody" and "Mikaela" and "Chase" are stupid names.
No, names like Vagina, X Squared and Helicopter are stupid names. Connor, Brody and Mikaela are just names you don't like.
I know what they meant. I was illustrating that the bar can be set much lower.
Who dictates what's stupid? Where does the sanity end and crazy name start? We can't be the arbiters of good taste.
Who dictates what's stupid? Where does the sanity end and crazy name start?
Sanity ends when the name has an objectively high likelihood of causing the child harm, or otherwise severely hindering them in life. For example, naming your child "Hitler", or "" is objectively likely to be harmful to them. Likewise, naming them "Helicopter" or "Rollercoaster" is very likely to set them back in life through childhood bullying.
Who dictates this? In all countries I'm aware of that have laws around this: A government body of some kind.
Many countries have law banning stupid name which aren't a way to give abusive power to a civil servant but to protect kids from crazy parents, so your example doesn't work
In Germany the bureau where you register your child they have a book with tons of names in use around the world. But apart from that it depends on the bureaucrat handling your case. And of course you can always sue in case you don't like their decision.
There is a German actress whose first name is Wolke (Cloud). She doesn't know how her parents managed to get that approved. But now she is a case you can point to if you want to name your own child Wolke.
Wolke/Cloud are both pretty names
Wolke is a rare Dutch name for male and female. Wolk would idd mean cloud.
But
Wolleke is used for animals i know.
Wol = wool.
ke = ( behind a word to make it ) smal
I'm all for being able to change your name legally once, at the age of 13. Then It's up to you at 18 if you feel the need to change it again.
In the UK you are free to basically just change your name if you want. In fact, part of getting it "officially" changed (like for a passport) is proving that you've been using the new name in daily life for a while. There's a restriction about not using the new name for fraudulent purpose", so you can't pretend to be someone else or whatever, but really what you call yourself and what you want others to call you is your business. I was genuinely surprised that most of the rest of the world thinks it's acceptable to dictate people's names to them.
Michael Hunt has entered the chat.
Bet he learned to pronounce that with a hard H very quickly.
Hey. His name's Mike.
That's what he prefers to go by
Ill-advised, at the very least, eg: "My name is Sue How do you do You gonna die"
Justin Case likes the name his parents gave him. But at any time he has the legal right to change his name to something else he prefers, just in case he doesn't like the name his parents gave him.
If I were world lord god or whatever, everyone would just be allowed to legally change it at 18, then once again whenever they want, in case. No trading if you used both yours on silly changes.
I think we shouldn't even have legal names anymore. Nor legal sex/gender. Why does the government even need to keep track of my name at all? Maybe we just have a number tied to our biometric data. Maybe our profile is just defined facial scans, iris scans, thumb scans, and, for ultimate proof, our DNA profile. The state has a profile number on you that ties you to your biometrics. That sounds scary, but the government already has a profile on you if you have any kind of state-issued ID. And states are already collecting biometric data on their citizens.
We could simply tie all state business to an ID number and biometric data profile. When doing a transaction with some other party, the same biometrics could be used to prove your ID. Buying beer at the store? You hand the cashier a card that has your photo and ID number on it. They can type that number in their computer, query a state database, and return your age. Opening a bank account? Prove your ID with ID card and at least two forms of biometric scan. Signing up for a mortgage? Prove your identity with a DNA test.
We don't even need legal names. Or legal genders. Let's just do everything with biometric data, photo IDs, and other methods devoid of all the cultural baggage. Let people call themselves whatever they want. Let others choose how to honor that choice.
You want to change your gender? Have at it, the state doesn't care about your sex or gender at all. It doesn't even keep track of it. Give your kid a stupid name? At any time, they can start telling their friends to call them by a different one And that new name will instantly have all the legal power as the one their parents gave them - none whatsoever. The state will no longer tell us what our names are. Our words and character will do that instead.
I agree with the first part, but I absolutely do not want to give my biometric data to the government. They clearly already have a way of assigning everyone a number for the National Insurance Number, so just use that
This is a long way off, at least in Australia. Probably not for any good reason though.
Any time you propose some sort of citizen ID number scheme nutters start talking about "the mark of the beast". It's a biblical thing in which someone envisaged a dystopia in which everyone had an identifying mark on their forehead.
In Australia for example there was a lot of resistance to everyone being assigned a tax id number in the 80s. The law is still structured around this cultural anxiety to this day. For example, you can't be forced by law to provide your tax id number, and every different government agency will assign you their own number.
Biometrics have their own problems. An iris scan or finger print might be ok, but I would be extraordinarily reluctant to provide my DNA to anyone under any circumstances.
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