But it’s not his wife. Mario is obv a cuck, best case a simp.
this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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He definitely isn't a prince!
OG cuckolds ARE husbands, though..
Don't kink shame Mario. Shame him for not killing billionaires like his cooler brother.
Diplomacy is a thing
Mario kart is war.
Mario Kart: Fury road: Double dash
You will WAHOO eternal, shiny and chrome.
Witness me shell.
The poor man has his SO kidnapped and here you are, complaining about how he process and deals with the grief and trauma it brings him not knowing if this would be the last time they know anything about their whereabouts while doing the unthinkable to get her back.
This doesn't help the cause for mental health at all. This is not helpful at all. This is an average (albeit resourceful) working class man and you are taking cheap shots at him
It's one thing to process your grief by burying yourself in your work and relying on your family to support you, but its another thing to go on a shroom-fueled psychedelic jaunt whilst assaulting public servants and their lizard pets.
Maybe we shouldn't be enabling this, especially since his impressionable younger brother is currently under trial for murdering a CEO.
Those are prescription and standard issue. Their dimension's medicine is very different.
Now, the Mushroom kingdom (Ie: treated by foreign hostile powers as the Mushroom principality) is in the middle of an attack against their citizens and sovereignty by a hostile external power using terrorists and magic against their citizens.
Said terrorists transform the subjects of the kingdom into literal objects, striping them off any free will while occupying grounds with military forces and securing every logistic asset they can to make the citizens submit.
The Mushroom kingdom Princess, her Toadsworth advisor and nearby kingdoms have deputized and equiped Mario to be their protector. In essence, Mario is acting in legal grounds as their Deputized legal officer to be a judge, jury and executioner using all the standard issue equipment at hand.
Thereof the only assault of public servants is the one committed against the citizens of the kingdoms, Mario and the princess by the hostile attackers.
So, now the griefing man, an average worker, has a daunting task ahead, on top of all.
And here you are taking cheap shots at him.
For shame .
Pure apologist trite. That "hostile external power using terrorists and magic" is the standard rhetoric you hear broadcast from every castle. Toadstools and Goombas coexisted in the Kingdom for aeons, and it was only the Red Queen's bloody reign of divide-and-conquer that set neighbour upon neighbour and amped up the tensions between these two groups. Just because she calls herself a Peach now and rebranded the area as The Mushroom Kingdom, doesn't wipe away the blood of all those she displaced.
Your friends need you.
They always need you.
They never stop.
They are rage, brutal, without mercy.
But you. You will be worse.
Rip and tear, until it is done.
Sometimes smashing turts is how you deal with loss.
It's literally turtles all the way down
Well it's obvious they are just actors. Why else would they go play baseball, tennis, and go-kart every weekend?
"It's called diplomacy, Toad."
Luigi turned out to be all right, though.
I thank G.I. Toad for his service
I believe this is essentially canon according to the creators.
At least in Mario Bros 3
Arch enemies always play go-kart together to prove who is better
No matter how traumatized someone is, after a certain amount of time and emotional processing, I think it's perfectly normal for them to allow themselves some amount of enjoyment in the small things in life. If you live every literal moment of your life wrapped up in anxiety, fear, anger, rage, etc then you're not healthy and you're highly unlikely to succeed. Enjoying things when times are tough is not a weakness.
Sounds like you'd probably be on team "listen to music"?
I'm on team why the fuck do I have a wife I'm fuckin' gay for real though.
I'm gay too and have a wife what's wrong with it
How else am I supposed to get pumped up to save her from the psychopaths responsible?
He says wahoo because he got an excuse to meet up with his secret lover, Bowser.
It's all game of love between Mario and Bowser.
"You can have her back, but only if you clean all the levels, I gooed up."
How sure are we that she didn't stage the hijacking to make him clean up?
Edit: I wasn't sure if I remembered the plot correctly and it turns out I didn't. Mario was accused of gooing the island up and was forced to clean it. I don't think there was a princess involved.
Wait, that isn't the plot of Mario Sunshine?
She kidnapped herself man.
I think it's pretty clear that they're a thrupple with a kink for cuckolding.
You gotta compartmentalize, dude. Just like there's always time for cake, there's always time for wahoo.
Yeah, as much fun as it is to wahoo with your wife, you've still gotta be able to wahoo alone.
yep, if mario was all depressed, he’d never beat all them levels….
If Bowser kidnapped my partner I'd suspicious and jealous at the same time.
A) I don't have a partner
B) why the fuck didn't you kidnap me too?
And I wouldn't be laughing evilly after being dropped in lava regularly for the last 40 years.
Would your reaction be more like Denny Devitos in "Ruthless People"?