Ask Lemmy

There's a reason the word "multifaceted" gets applied to people sometimes. There are different faces we present in different scenarios.

Sometimes people will be one way with family, another at work and another way again when with friends. There are funny stories (or webcomics) of people ending up in a group that comprises a family member and two people they know from respective second and third groups and the humour is that they have no idea how to act in a way that won't confuse at least one of the people they're with, including themselves.

As for relating to your situation, there was one online content creator who went by a name that sounded like it was based on a real, given name and not something made up. It was a bit of a surprise when I learned that wasn't anything to do with their actual name. They also posted things that were out of the mould I'd mentally put them in on another social media site.

(Being vague because I don't want to dox or disparage.)

Thankfully, those particular revelations affected no-one but me, which might be a way for you to look at the situation with the person you're talking about.

Bills gotta get paid somehow.

Your mind filled in a lot of gaps of who this other person is, based on what you knew based on just a narrow part of their life. It doesn't sound like you have an issue with them having an OF, I think it's an important distinction that you understand what was in your mind is what was odd, as the picture you had of them was so inaccurate.

They aren't doing anything odd, since it is who they are. It's just them. You don't know why they're doing it. They may like it, they may hate it and are doing it to cover bills or something. While you now know more about them, you still don't know them as a whole person.

Thinking about people we like, respect, etc having sex is just not something most people typically do. Most everyone has sex though. Our parents, neighbors, celebrities, church people, racists, influencers, news anchors, etc. It's just we think of all those people in other scenarios first before we think of them doing the nasty. You just basically walked in on someone while they were in the act and now it's gotten your mind scattered.

If you follow them and this has affected you, you obviously like and respect them. That probably means watching their OF isn't the best idea if you want to continue thinking of them the way you were before. You've just seen a more intimate side of them now, and you can remind yourself there is more to them than just what you have seen so far.

I'm a bit tired, so I hope that all made sense!

Sorry. I didn't mean to shock you. I'll be more up front about my OF, in the future.

You've made a whole lot of replies, and not a single one in which you explained why exactly you where surprised.

I know you put the person's name in the description, but if you want genuine answers, you probably shouldn't expect people to click through someone's Tiktok until they got their vibe before replying.

Of course, to do this once is at least as much to far. This is obvious.

This happened to me when I found out K-pop singer Karina had a boyfriend. Definitely not who I thought she was, and now I wouldn't even marry her if she asked me.

I am confused by random people online daily.

Some people can't write in English, which is confusing. But not always necessarily through any fault of their own other than not having enough learning.

Some people are batshit insane, and post their thoughts into the showerthoughts community or ask a question on no stupid questions that straddles the line between really ignorant of everything and begging the question as a form of bait.

And then sometimes people post a joke that is so super niche, if you haven't seen the exact same thing and had the stars perfectly aligned so you also had the same thoughts at the time you saw it, you won't get the reference, and be confused.

Daily? You should see the modqueue sometimes...

I am easily confused tbh, so it's not hard to do that to me.

Sorry, I don't even know what an OF is...

Look up cognitive dissonance. It's basically how people justify saying one thing and doing another. We're all prone to it, everyone has their price

I'd need to see the of to determine weirdness level.