this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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pissing standing up
I sit on my throne like a king.
I sit down every time I go to piss because it's one if the few places where I can be sure I'll be left alone. It's not about the piss. It's about the break.
It's also about not spraying piss all over my floor
Or having both hands for the phone, or not needing to blind yourself with a light in the middle of the night. So many reasons.
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Someone doesn't just get followed into the bathroom I see.
Thank fuck, tbh.
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ok, sidepoint, but the other day I realized that urinals are just dedicated walls for people to pee on and I think that's really sweet
I've got news for you, on festivals there are sometimes literal metal walls to piss on with a drain beneath.
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How is that sweet im curious
Well its probably sweet if you're diabetic
Okay then explain to me why every time you go to stand in front of one, your boss walks in and stands next to you starts talking to you about quarterly projections while you're trying to squeeze a single drop of pee as you sweat and pretend to be at all thinking or caring about work.
Only in a greentext will OP talk about their family members getting horny over little things
You guys with your weird water-to-the-brim toilets. My first encounter with an American toilet made me think it was clogged. So I pissed outside to satiate my feral needs.
the hell kind of toilet were you using? they usually have water in like the bottom third and the water level only goes up for a moment when you flush.
That's just because they don't have water in European toilets, they flush by spitting into the toilet until the poo goes down.
I use a nice "watch-your-shit" toilet
weird that the hole is in the front. most American toilets have the hole directly under your butthole and the poop just goes straight in (most of the time) with the water breaking it's fall on the way.
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The solution clearly is to piss on her to establish dominance
Short units make high pressure. Smart girls hear the Reynolds number and know
why sinks are more practical
it's better to piss in the sink, than to sink in the piss
Try hearing all of your neighbors pissing...
I swear to Christ, I think I've stumbled onto the one apartment building with paper-thin walls that's also filled to the brim with neighbors who aim straight for the water...
/r/sinkpissers
Not sure if we have a lemmy community for this yet
Is there a queue for moderators?
My mom used to say it sounded like a horse pissing onto a flat rock whenever I went to the bathroom. To which I would say "Gross! Why are you listening to me use the bathroom?!"
Okay hear me out, the water splashes less. It makes sound but if you piss on the ceramic the piss moisture comes back at you which is disgusting.
You gotta improve your angle so the piss whirlpools around the bowl
Trick-pissing champ here, the real homies bank their shots off the shower walls first before swirling it around the bowl for the finale. If I've been drinking heavily the night before, I'll piss fakey or throw in some yoga poses to up the challenge. The only way to be great is to push yourself a little farther each time you step up to the bowl.
Behind the knee and then over the shoulder has always been a crowd pleaser for me. I've had friends recently get into the long distance bracket, they often practice with their backs against the wall and piss hitting the urinal in a public washroom. They often score for distance and duration.
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The main reason to aim for the water is as contingency for split streams. Aim for center so that split streams have less chance of breaching the toilet bowl perimeter
Yeah, I start the stream slow in the center, then move to the ceramic as I increase the pressure. As the stream weakens, I move to the center-back so I don't drip on the seat.
My wife wants me to sit down, but I sometimes sneak in a standing pee and she never notices w/ this strategy.
It's the 3am total darkness pisses. You use the sound to locate your stream and angle. Then you can hit the water/bowl interface and then fire for effect.
As the stream lessens you micro adjust to stay in the sweet zone.
Nobody wants to hit the edge, spray all over your shins then bend over to wipe it up and slip in your own piss spray slippery floor and knock yourself out on the pissy rim only to wake up to all your family looking at you in distain as you lay on the pissy floor.
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