this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Okay hear me out, the water splashes less. It makes sound but if you piss on the ceramic the piss moisture comes back at you which is disgusting.
You gotta improve your angle so the piss whirlpools around the bowl
Trick-pissing champ here, the real homies bank their shots off the shower walls first before swirling it around the bowl for the finale. If I've been drinking heavily the night before, I'll piss fakey or throw in some yoga poses to up the challenge. The only way to be great is to push yourself a little farther each time you step up to the bowl.
Behind the knee and then over the shoulder has always been a crowd pleaser for me. I've had friends recently get into the long distance bracket, they often practice with their backs against the wall and piss hitting the urinal in a public washroom. They often score for distance and duration.
Start/stop rate and laminar flow is the real trick.
The main reason to aim for the water is as contingency for split streams. Aim for center so that split streams have less chance of breaching the toilet bowl perimeter
It's the 3am total darkness pisses. You use the sound to locate your stream and angle. Then you can hit the water/bowl interface and then fire for effect.
As the stream lessens you micro adjust to stay in the sweet zone.
Nobody wants to hit the edge, spray all over your shins then bend over to wipe it up and slip in your own piss spray slippery floor and knock yourself out on the pissy rim only to wake up to all your family looking at you in distain as you lay on the pissy floor.
This is why guys get married, to escape this hazaed... Night piss everywhere and ignore it, have the wife clean it up and complain endlessly.
This is also the leading cause of divorce apparently, according to the Wikipedia article on the matter.
Oddly specific but also very relatable. Well done.
Lol +1
Yeah, I start the stream slow in the center, then move to the ceramic as I increase the pressure. As the stream weakens, I move to the center-back so I don't drip on the seat.
My wife wants me to sit down, but I sometimes sneak in a standing pee and she never notices w/ this strategy.
No, the main reason is establish dominance with your loud, heavy flow piss stream. The splashes on the seat you intentionally kept down are there to mark your territory against any pissers that wish to challenge you.
I’ve found the opposite. Due to the angles of the sides of the bowl, a majority of rebound splash inside the toilet still, whereas directly in the water you get the pee waters vouching back chaotically and making their way more on the rim and out of the toilet.
Just sit down to pee you idiot
I hope this was a joke.