Never questioned this until about 15 seconds ago…
this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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They definitely do, as that was my thought too
They're fictional, so I guess they work however the writer wants them to.
I want them to work in a warehouse. I smell A sitcom!
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt7908628/
Not a warehouse but You are in for a treat!
I was hoping for this and was not disappointed
It took a while to load on my phone and the longer it took the bigger my hope and smile. Big relentless reward now.
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Once wrote a series of short stories about fantasy creatures living and working in a warehouse. My favorite were the weekending ghosts, who haunted a manor through the week, but took weekend trips to haunt the warehouse on Saturdays and Sundays to get a break from it all.
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Vampire anatomy expert here.
They are totally like straws. You were dead on.
I thought the same thing. Glad I was right all along
I am here for you. You can know that you're right by me telling you so.
I'm glad you guys were right. I was also right. It's a good day for being right about this
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Unless they’re referring to the bat, who’s to say otherwise? The lore police?
Circa 2008 the wikipedia entry for vampire bat claimed that their teeth were like this. archive.org didn't capture it at that time, but another page copied the whole thing: https://www.mundoandino.com/Argentina/Vampire-bat
The bats incisor teeth are hollow, allowing them to suck blood in through the teeth like a straw, the saliva has several ingredients that prolong bleeding.
My favorite thing about this is: where does the blood go once it hits the top of the tooth? Into the gums? Into the sinuses? Out the back of the tooth and into the mouth, removing the need of a straw in the first place?
I assumed they were basically reverse snake fangs
One is the venom tooth and one is the straw tooth.
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I think there's been a shift in media here over the years. Older vampires, the formalwear "I vant to suck your blaaaad" types, often have very long teeth and leave only a couple of punctures after biting someone. It's pretty reasonable to assume these are actually drawing the blood through their teeth like little syringes.
Then as time goes on, vampires have gotten grittier and gorier. We've gone from beautiful damsels with tiny pinpricks on their necks, to staight up cannibalism. Vampires now just fuckin eat people sometimes. Somewhere in between, we did get a phase of vampires biting open the neck with a big gush of blood, and the now classic image of a vampire with blood all over their lower face. At this point it's clear they're just drinking it normally.
So vampires have become sloppier and more impatient. The new generations I swear /s
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The Swedish radio show "Christer" called up the ambassador of Romania somewhere around 2014 (IIRC) to pop the question, and he confirmed the teeth were like straws.
So there's that!
That is how they worked on the HBO show True Blood.
In the vampire documentary "Dead and loving it" distinct straw-slurping sounds can be heard so I think this is indeed correct.
However when I was a kid I totally thought vampire bats also do the sucky-sucky not the licky-licky they actually do.
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What made them change their mind? Pretty sure that’s always been part of the implication lol.
When I was in middle school and first learned about gay men I thought one penis would have to open up somehow to accept the other penis as what I now know would be called sounding. Also knowing what I know now that would be pretty extreme even for sounding but I was a preteen fundie and had gotten all my sex ed from an anatomy and physiology book in the family library with 0 direction from any adult so in the absence of any better ideas that seemed like the most likely way that would work out. Anyway this is a great example of why puritans wind up so kinky; you have no idea what normal sex looks like so you just have to imagine it and sometimes the imagination comes up with some really weird shit and before you know it you're having preteen wet dreams about stuff the human body doesn't even do.
I was like 9 before they told me procreation didn’t involve a woman’s belly button.
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I think you might be confusing docking with sounding
Docking is foreskin play, inserting something into the urethra would be a type of sounding.
But if you can sound with an entire human cock, you're doing something pretty extreme shit
I'm deeply enjoying this polite and intellectual discourse re: is this physically impossible act I imagined at 14 years old docking or sounding. Please continue this and all your other weird sexual internet discourse with the same level of polite fervor. :)
Lmao. I'm not an expert on either docking or sounding, so if one comes along I'll defer. Lol. But also, I doubt you're the only kid who thought that. When I was much, much younger than 14 and learned about gay folk (before realizing I myself was gay folk) I didn't understand the issue, because I didn't realize sex played into it. I just thought a relationship/marriage was two people raising kids and makings dinner and shit. Lol. Didn't understand why you'd go to hell for that being two men or whatever.
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I'm 53 and never considered it to be different from that. Damn you OP. I have shit to do today and I'm gonna be running this shit on a loop instead.
Never have I ever thought otherwise until seeing this post...
Everybody knows vampires don’t suck, they scrape and lick!
That seems inefficient
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I used to think this was silly but now pretty sure thats how it works now. Also vampire bat teeth look like metroid teeth
Wait, you're telling me they aren't?!
My whole life has been a lie...
I also thought this.
This brings me back! Jhonen is quite the artist
Isn't that how the real blood sucking species do it?
(Bonus: lookup how cats of all sizes drink water)
Mosquito straw > Scrape and Lick
Same
The opposite of that is kinda how I thought tattoo machines worked as a kid- as in with hollow needles and an ink cartridge, like fountain pens, and each poke into the skin would deposit ink that way. I even 'figured out' that the tiny vacuum from pulling the needle out would be what pulled the ink down into the skin.
When I found out how tattoo machines actually worked, it seemed so messy (and loud!).
That's not how they work?
I looked it up:
Tattoo needles are more like the nib of a fountain pen than a syringe; the ink isn’t shot down through the needle, but suspended at the end of it when an artist dips the tool into a well. Then, when the tip of the needle pierces a hole in the recipient’s skin (both the epidermis and the dermis beneath it), capillary action—the same force that makes liquid creep up the sides of a straw—draws the ink down into the dermis.
IKR? But yeah, nah, tattoo machines are basically a motor that pumps the needle up and down, and you have to dip it in ink to transfer it into the skin.
And here I thought "Dracula - dead and loving it" cleared up that topic. Of course they're hollow.
That's why they make that empty hollow carton sound when they finish sucking all the blood out.
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