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Hell no.
Are you u all living in rosy mc Rosewood Santa's little safe harbour everything is fine and dandy rainbow world? Or are you all lying through your teeth?
Letting someone in your home with clearly visible psychological issues, in your circle of trust, filled with those you hold most dearly and packed with your dearest memories, that place... And then letting someone in you know nothing about?
Hell fucking no.
In the real world letting some rando homeless dude in your home has a 50/50 chance of ending up in crazy town. There is a high probability that you, yours or your stuff get fucked up. I cannot and will not accept those odds. Even a 2% chance of shit happening is a risk I'm unwilling to take when it comes to my kids.
Would I help him? Maybe. It depends on some factors (like can I at that specific time, did I help him out earlier, do I have cash on hand) Would I let him in? No f-ing way.
So real answer: money: maybe, eat & drink: anytime. Clothes: I've got some you can have, no problem. Bath and clean: nope. Never.
This is my thought as well. Even if things go well this time, whoβs to say they will not feel entitled to come back. Maybe with or without your knowledge.
Iβd send them away otherwise I might start getting a regular visitor to my house asking for stuff.
In public, Iβm happy to give money or food.
I wouldn't let him in, because my partner has very strong feelings about anyone in the house, but if he doesn't mind waiting outside he's getting a lot more than a sandwich and water. A full meal is a very rare thing on the street and some bread and Ham isn't a meal. I always have left overs or prepped meals ready and he's eating until he's full. Water is the same, as much as he can stomach.
I'm no barber, but I can trim my own beard so I'm sure I can manage his. If the stars align, I have a real stylist down the street and I'd happy to ask if she has time for a clean and cut.
Most importantly, I've got contact info for shelters and food banks. When if I can't do anything else I can help find someone who can.
Honestly, I didn't let the fella in either. But I did bring my hair clippers out on the back porch, and made a point to trim both his beard and his head down short.
I'm not a barber either, but hell, there's a huge difference between looking scraggly versus looking somewhat tidy. I did my best with the clippers, and the fella was very happy with it.
Then I went and bought us some pizza and a couple of beers. Why beer? Because I'm generous sometimes, plus beer is cheaper than water in my area.
The food and water part, no problem. Strangers in my apartment is a hard no! Sorry.
Fix him a sandwich, get him some water, and tell him I don't let strangers in my house.
I've done just that, twice in the twenty odd years I've owned it. Before that, my dad owned it and had different rules about who had access to resources, so I would have followed his, if it had arisen.
But! I would offer to bring my spare trimmer and hook him up on the porch, or a shave if he wanted. That used to be part of my job, and I miss the hell out of personal care. I'd also offer to let him use a mirror instead though.
I'm hard core about no strangers in the house, period, ever. Don't care why they want in, don't care who they are, if I haven't said it's okay, nobody comes in. Hell, there's people we know that aren't allowed in. I've got one cousin in particular that will get his ass beat again if he shows up. But someone we don't know, that I haven't vetted? Hellll no.
Shit, I'd rent a motel room for a homeless person before I'd let the cleanest, best dressed stranger in my house, and I'm on a fixed income.
But, I'm actually known to be a soft touch for food and beverage. It's a thing. If I know you well enough to let you in, you will never go hungry at my house. If I don't know you well enough to invite you in, I still won't let you go hungry or thirsty, but I'll ask you to move along with the supplies. I'd have to have my family be starving before I'd refuse basic food and water to someone.
I would offer to buy them a meal and pay for a low-cost motel room. I'd even be willing to buy them some toiletries to get cleaned up. I would not invite them into my home under any conditions.
I don't even like opening the door to people I know.
IMHO: Always help out the working-class people if you can; the homeless and'middle class' are the working-class.
You don't have to let them in your home or do too much, but I would offer them a box with food, plenty of water, and a basic care package.
We all need to make time to join in helping our local communities. 1 hour a year is much more helpful than 0 hours a year.
Mantra:
βWe should focus our actions, time, and resources on Direct Action, Mutual Aid, and Community Outreachβ¦ No War but Class War!β
"absolutely fucking not, and never come here again"
Sorry, but I'll help people when I want to, on my own terms. Before you pile on, I literally just housed somebody for over a month, in the shitty one bedroom flat I rent. As in, they stayed on the sofa and only left on Tuesday. I also provided 90% of their food and gave them money to cover an outgoing debt payment.
It was a fucking huge inconvenience, actually. A helping hand is fine, but some people will happily take your whole arm.
I'd give him a snack if he was desperate enough to come to my door. Wouldn't let him inside but might come out to chat with him. Just to be sure they are well enough to carry on. Like, I didn't have to call for medical assistance or something.
It's easy to say no when you've never been in that situation. I mean I've never been so out of it I'd beg a stranger to groom me but I have been completely on my own with nothing and no one.
Any homeless person with good intent would know that cold knocking someone and asking to come inside is a bridge too far. So if they were trying that shit they would most likely be competely toasted or having a serious mental episode. Even more likely they are trying to steal your shit.
I have had a homeless man come up to the door in an icestorm with no shirt on. The guy was soaked in alcohol and I did not feel safe. I did throw him a sweater, coat, and gloves because he could freeze but I was fucking terrified.
In my case, the 'stranger' wasn't exactly a stranger anymore. Even though I had my own place to live with my family, I'd get tired of the home drama and I'd go ride my bicycle out to wherever my feet decided to pedal that night.
There were two particular homeless fellas that I'd sometimes stop and shoot the shit with for a couple hours or so. Sometimes they'd even buy me a beer, just to have a friend to talk to.
I never forgot their generosity. Never. I helped the older fella with a beard trim, some pizza, and a beer in return.
The younger fella had been an album producer in the past, so I found him a fancy green suit about his size. Dunno if he kept it, but last I heard he actually got him a place in the next city over.
My experience with homeless people on my porch has usually been them stealing from it or shitting on it. So I'd be rather shocked if they just asked for something normal.
I wouldn't oblige the bath, but I could help them with some food and water.
Depends if I know them. There's been a permanent camp around the corner from my house the last five years. My wife and I know a lot of the long-term residents and have helped them do laundry, charge phones, and file taxes. But a stranger? I'd direct them towards other local resources.
File taxes? I admit I'm fairly ignorant of the plights of any unhoused person ... And any complex tax situation, TBH ... but it seems like most of them would be under the income threshold that would require filing of taxes.
edit: s/and/any/
Homeless does not necessarily mean jobless. You still have to file taxes if you want a tax return. It's a lot cheaper to live out of a car and have a PO box than it is to get an apartment.
Several years ago, my mom started making care for folks out on the street. Some water, a bag of chips, a piece of candy. Little things like that. I started doing the same thing. It's good to help those down on their luck in small ways. Even to to look at them and say "no, I'm sorry" when they ask for money, rather than to just ignore them. You are acknowledging them as a person. If we wish to make a better society, actions speak louder than words.
I also prefer the term 'de-housed' to 'homeless'. I feel the latter places blame on them rather than the former which places blame on the society which has failed them.
I remember a skit by the late George Carlin where he suggested that instead of calling them homeless, that we should call them houseless instead, so yeah I get what you mean there.
Plow the golf courses and cemeteries! Give these folks a place to live!
I think homeless is more fitting. at least to me, it's a more emotional/painful word, which is a good thing. being homeless sounds a lot shittier than being dehoused to me.
Food? OK
Water? OK
The rest? No.
Yeah. I don't like people in my place.
If I had time, I'd maybe tell the dude to wait outside, then get my loafers, walk with him to the shop and buy a meal. Strangers in my house? No thank you. Good way to get robbed in my neighborhood.
There are free showers and halfway houses around here, so getting shower wouldn't be a reason to knock on the door, I think.
Optimally, we should be housing everybody as its been proven time and time again how much cheaper it is than leaving people homeless. It's what I vote for every time, but somehow people are just too selfish.
I subscribe to a policy of cautious altruism, like a lot of folks already said. I need to keep myself and my family safe so probably not allow in the house, but I'd give food water, the hose, soap, shampoo, clean towel, and a change of clothes if I can. Maybe even some cash if I have it around to spare.
If I have a shed or garage I'd allow them to use it to change clothes privately and offer to wash their clothes if safe. They may have residue of drugs like meth on their clothes that I'm unable handle.
I've also got a decent amount of privilege to share.
Be kind, be safe
Also, for anyone reading through this thinking, "I shouldn't give them money because drugs"
I use drugs to cope with chronic pain so I can get through a workday
I'm skilled labor and make a decent salary
The only things separating me from a homeless person were some "fortunate" family deaths providing enough inheritance to put me through college at a good time and some lucky networking
We should all be more humble and less judgemental of eachother's choices
"I shouldn't give them money because drugs"
I have a roof over my head, eat thrice a day, and have a loving family. Yet there are days when I want to drown myself in alcohol or weed. Who am I to judge a homeless person if they choose to do drugs and forget their suffering for a little while?
I always give money, if anything, to the few of them in my neighborhood. Whether it's food , clothes, drugs or something else - they know what they need better than I know it.
I'm not exactly sure how to interpret all this, except I think you have a decent trustworthy soul, and care about others.
I wouldn't feel safe letting a stranger in to shower. My wife would be very upset with me.
They could have a bottle of water and a sandwich.
Had a dude come around in my neighborhood a few times. It was the middle of the summer and it can get above 100 where I live. Gave him pbj and some water because if was all I had at the time. He only asked for food and water. Haven't seen him in a year now though.
I have a lot of unhoused neighbors so I regularly leave out fresh socks, a pair of gloves here and there, basic toiletries, and food for their pets. If one came to my door I'd be happy to try giving a haircut, but no refunds.
My brother was homeless from addiction.
I'd give food and water; if they wanted to wash up I have a hose and would bring them soap and shampoo. Unfortunately, I've been burned with shit disappearing from when my brother was addicted, so I probably wouldn't let them in the house.
Honestly it's a bad idea. Might be fine, might not be. Not worth the risk. Some unhoused folks are addicts or mentally ill. People tend to return to places that become familiar. The might come back again. Maybe to rob you.
I'm speaking from experience. I gave a guy a place to live to try to get back on his feet, in exchange for some work. Realized he's a severe addict and couldn't get rid of him. Then I look like the asshole for putting him back on the street.
I can certainly give them food and water, but sorry Iβm not trusting enough to let a stranger in my house.
as someone who was homeless I'd let them in to take a shower and trim themselves up. If they're an addict or mentally ill then no, i'd direct them somewehre else. I've had way too many bad interactions with both, especially addicts. If it was a homeless person who was sober and mentally sound? yeah i'd provide help because I know that programs and resources don't exist for them they're tailored for the addicts and mentally ill. Hell i'd even offer my couch. But addicts know the system and they're only going to your door to rip you off. and the mentally ill don't even know they're homeless so they wouldn't be knocking and asking for help anyways.
Given how I don't let anybody homeless or otherwise in my house if I don't know them, I'll probably give them food and water
Homeless or rich it doesn't matter I just don't trust people anymore. With that said though I will happily help guide them to resources and donate to shelters fairly often. I have some bad history with strangers so even though I've tried working through it there doesn't seem to be much change.
You doing what you did is awesome and I bet really helped that guy with more than just a shave.