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submitted 11 months ago by aidan@lemmy.world to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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[-] bleph@lemmy.world 176 points 11 months ago

Homie I'm sorry that happened.

You might want to do some research on:

  • verbal abuse
  • narcissistic parent
  • low self esteem

This is what I wish someone else told me.

Good luck on your journey

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 67 points 11 months ago

Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn't been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She's not perfect and sometimes I think she's wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me

[-] redsol2@lemmy.world 44 points 11 months ago

I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it's hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn't act in a supportive way

[-] entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 11 months ago

You should at least recognize that you're holding a double standard here: she's able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it's hard for you to criticize her because you care.

That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.

[-] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago

Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn't mean that they don't love you. It just means that their interactions aren't healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.

Regardless, I hope that you're doing well. I don't know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it's much more impressive than anything I've made

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago

That's true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can't expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.

[-] entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 11 months ago

Well, and anybody can say or do things that are abusive.

Different people have different levels of tolerance for abusive behavior. The question is, when does it go from, "a person prone to occasional abusive bullshit" to "a person in the habit of committing acts of abuse"?

It's a lot like addiction in the sense that it's a sliding scale, but people largely outside of it will freely brand the slightest hint as a full blown catastrophe.

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[-] Korne127@lemmy.world 65 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'm genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn't, I'm proud of that and happy for you :)
But yeah, I'm sorry that she hasn't appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

Yeah I guess. I've only been able to get internships- good internships. But I've never been able to get a real job

[-] Aidan@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago

Well you managed to get the username aidan@lemmy.world before me, so that’s something

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

haha, yeah and it was only a week ago

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[-] winterayars@sh.itjust.works 55 points 11 months ago

Bill Gates was Bill Gates because he had rich parents who got him access to millions of dollars of computer hardware at a time when that was much harder than today. If you're not Bill Gates it's on your parents, imo.

That said, 100 stars is great. Keep it up! That's 100 people who looked at the stuff you're doing, evaluated it using their expertise, and decided it was good enough work to call attention to.

[-] spauldo@lemmy.ml 17 points 11 months ago

That part of it, sure, but the guy was good at business and made some smart bets (that the microcomputer industry would explode, for one). Microsoft didn't get as big as it has based only on their technical ability. They got there because they made the right decisions and were cutthroat against their competitors.

Bill was at the right time and right place, but he was also the right guy. You gotta have them all.

[-] Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml 15 points 11 months ago

Cutthroat is an understatement. He did a lot of illegal stuff in the USA and internationally because governments had no idea how he was exploiting them/breaking commercial law. He also bribed hundreds of governments and stifled innovation. The world would be a better place without him.

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[-] eskimofry@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago

It's easy to make some smart bets when you can make many bets and fail over and over and not become destitute.

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[-] onlooker@lemmy.ml 52 points 11 months ago

Wow. This pretty much constitutes verbal abuse. I'm sorry you had to hear all that. And hey, I'm happy for you!

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 44 points 11 months ago

My mother told me to make Facebook. I tried explaining Facebook already existed, but it was no use.

[-] chickenwing@lemmy.ml 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You can run a Friendica instance and act like you invented it. My family was impressed when I "made my own Netflix" with a Plex server lol.

[-] skullgiver@popplesburger.hilciferous.nl 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

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[-] Jamie@jamie.moe 10 points 11 months ago

You can still make Facebook, you just need to register it on a domain they haven't claimed. Then get sued and live in a box for the rest of your life while paying Zuck your bucks for trademark infringement.

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[-] GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml 43 points 11 months ago

I've got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I'm proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn't earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Nice that is really cool to have feedback from people using your creation

[-] 5redie8@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

Drop the github fam I'd love to take a look

[-] GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'd love to but I would dox myself here which I don't want to do. I'll say this much: it is a thing where if you have looked for Linux alternatives of the Windows version, there is a small chance you've found my code already :)

[-] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Did you make a Linux hotdog stand theme??

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[-] wt1a@lemmy.fmhy.ml 37 points 11 months ago

104 stars is damn impressive.. can’t compare github stars to low effort social media likes!

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Yeah, although the thing that makes me the most happy is actually seeing stuff I made being used.

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[-] galaxi@lemm.ee 31 points 11 months ago

I'm proud of you!! That's huge. You should give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Verifiable progress and it's only up from here, keep it up :)

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Honestly I don't know- I've been very lazy and lacking motivation for while so it's kinda going down

[-] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 11 months ago

I would lack motivation too if I grew up with a mom like that. You need to eject her talk from your head. Every day you wake up a new person and whatever had happened earlier is nothing but memories. Begin again. You're free, and life is full of opportunities.

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[-] tr00st@lemmy.tr00st.co.uk 27 points 11 months ago

That's 102 stars more than my best... Nicely done :)

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

At least his heinously critical mom still looks young, I guess 🤷

Although most would probably count it as a negative that she looks to be the same age as her son.

Or maybe it's an unintended aspect of the art style and I should stop overanalysing everything like a goddamn moron, like MY mom keeps telling me 😉

[-] Feyter@programming.dev 7 points 11 months ago

I think there is definitely so time traveling going on here.

[-] Zrob@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Yo why is this so relatable

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

so we have shared suffering

[-] dullbananas@lemmy.ca 12 points 11 months ago
[-] aidan@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago

Xd, I don't work for microsoft- but good job finding a repo with exactly 104 stars

[-] copylefty@lemmy.ml 12 points 11 months ago

What's the GitHub link boss?

[-] aidan@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I wasn't actually referencing 1 project but the sum of 4(but most of the stars are in one)- so here's my profile

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[-] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 11 months ago

It doesn't mean anything, but I am happy for you.

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[-] CrypticVader@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

...and I took it personally.

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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
651 points (96.6% liked)

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