Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to !unclejokes@lemmy.world
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loopy@lemmy.world

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Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by philo@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

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[–] Cipher22@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Ok... so. For the terminally slow?

[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 85 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Can I have a bookmark? = Can I have a book, Mark?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 52 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Thus demonstrating the importance of correct comma use.

It can be the critical factor when helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

l felt more shame about helping my uncle jack onto a horse, but he said he needed a hand or he couldn't get up.

[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Is that how he got the name Mr.Hands?

[–] lightnegative@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's why horses are measured by hands

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

Yes, farm hands

[–] ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Did you help your uncle jack off afterwards?

[–] shortwavesurfer@monero.town 8 points 3 months ago

Or "Let's eat aunt Sally" vs "Let's eat, aunt Sally"

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh man, I'm fucking slow

[–] profoundninja@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

It took me a few read throughs as well, if i didn't know there was a joke in there, i wouldn't have ever got it.

[–] End0fLine@programming.dev 1 points 3 months ago

I don’t get it either…

[–] Hupf@feddit.de 22 points 3 months ago

oh hi Mark

[–] Seraph@kbin.social 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Great verbal joke. Doesn't read as well as it sounds.

[–] Eggyhead@kbin.run 10 points 3 months ago

Your 11 year old knows what a real bookmark is?

[–] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I think this could be more obvious if you work in handing your son a book with a tear in your eye or something. Great premise though!

[–] philo@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 months ago

The really sad part is that it was my daughter and she is 32....