this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023
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Damn. Some very white Christmases in Hallmark land.
My mother and sister fucking looooove these movies, despite how low effort cookie cutter they are. My favorite game while they're watching is "count the POC." The last one we saw together, I got to 1.
I love to just have them on, in the background. These movies are self-aware. The Netflix equivalent has its own universe with internal references to each other, which includes fake countries, maps, etc. I'm no joke invested in the Netflix Christmas-verse or whatever the fuck.
Hallmark is a little less fun to watch, but still quality rubbish. Everyone knows it's over the top. The actors, producers, and writers are all in on it. I'm not saying that makes them good. They are still bad. But when you watch them knowing the content is almost intentionally cringe, it's a bit better. With a slight shift in perspective and perhaps a bit of squinting, you can see the Christmas overtures as nothing more than satire. Last year, one movie just threw in a vague reference to Santa. No beard. No glasses. Just a guy who wore a red coat and occasionally would get 1-3 seconds on camera breaking the fourth wall. He had like one line. No gifts. No reindeer. Never interacting with the Christmas Couple. Just essentially an old dude in red. To me, that's the height of humor. It's like they're just wafting a single sprig of holly over the film in the editing room. I crack up every time.
What's your high score?
Two.
Also 1
The Hallmark movies are mostly filmed in one of the whitest basic beige towns in British Columbia. It would be difficult to find someone. They do have an east Asian population but it's small.
If they ever need a black guy on set for whatever reason, give them my info
I like free food
And since you're already certified the paperwork will be a lot easier to push through.
Do extras count, or do they need to have a speaking part?
Here's a fun drinking game: one shot each time a new white character appears. Happy coma!
they would never dare disrupt the cash cow with gays or queers, or atheists or 'non christians', or a realistic portrayal of a poor or homeless person, or too many brown persons.
And it's beginning to snow. 🎶
I don't know why they would do that if it's not what the audience wants