philo

joined 7 months ago
sorted by: new top controversial old
My dentist offered me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 15 points 6 months ago (8 children)

Are you the dad joke cop?

Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 7 points 6 months ago

Post your own joke then it can

Ansar Allah Announces Expansion of Attacks on Israel-Bound Ships to All of Indian Ocean in c/worldnews@lemmy.ml
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!” in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Mars is the manufacturer and according to them, it's sold in the UK and Canada so take it up with them.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!” in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!” in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 15 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Bounty is a chocolate bar?

Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 10 points 6 months ago

The really sad part is that it was my daughter and she is 32....

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Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian. (lemmy.ca)
Why do birds fly south? Because it’s too far to walk. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago

Glad I could bring a smile to your face.

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Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. (lemmy.ca)
My son asked me to explain what a solar eclipse is? I said no son. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 months ago

Kind of funny how the critics never post dad jokes.

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Why do birds fly south? Because it’s too far to walk. (lemmy.ca)
My son asked me to explain what a solar eclipse is? I said no son. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
My son asked me to explain what a solar eclipse is? I said no son. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Really

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My son asked me to explain what a solar eclipse is? I said no son. (lemmy.ca)
Why did Waldo go to therapy? To find himself. in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] philo@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago

Waldo is the wimpy brother of Walda, you would not like to meet her in a dark alley.

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Why did Waldo go to therapy? To find himself. (lemmy.ca)
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They asked me what my dream job was. I said getting paid to sleep. (lemmy.ca)
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Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just-water. (lemmy.ca)
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A group of dolphins is called a pod, and a group of falcons is called a cast. So, if you ever watch the Miami Dolphins play the Atlanta Falcons, technically, you’re watching a pod-cast. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by philo@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
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I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any. (lemmy.ca)
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Why do I see so much? (lemmy.ca)
 

I am seeing subscribed communities on my feed here that I have been subscribed to ever since I first joined Lemmy. The only thing is I have not seen them on any other instance. Any idea why that is?

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Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable (lemmy.ca)
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