this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] fulcrummed@lemmy.world 39 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is from Prosh! The students at University of Western Australia release their satirical newspaper “Prosh” once a year as a fundraiser for charity - flooding the streets of Perth in wild costumes selling the papers at intersections, train stations, cafes - anywhere people will be passing by. It’s a tradition, and quite the spectacle. Locals are greeted in the morning rush hour traffic by the most jovial, and largest group of young adults they’ve ever seen before 8 am - wondering why there are nurses and T Rexes and boys in sexy police skirts running through traffic. Then the penny drops, they fork over a fiver for a paper, and everyone goes about their day.

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 months ago

I love this!

[–] forty2@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Gemini - your FBI agent goes to therapy because of you

Hahahahaha

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My therapist asked my hororscope and I said This isn't going to work if we're both mentally ill.

[–] forty2@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

All roads lead to Pieces these days, might as well embrace it 😂

[–] amotio@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Finally something usefull. Sorry not sorry my FBI agent.

[–] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Sorry not sorry to who's ever car I set on fire this month (Meghen) it's literally because "Megan" isn't spelled with a fucking H

[–] godot@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special, deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you.

But let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

[–] owatnext@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Virgo: you will never find true happiness — whatcha gonna do, cry about it?

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Pretty much

[–] midori@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago
[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Love that Pisces isn't mean because the author knows how sensitive they are

[–] H1jAcK@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

I'm not that fucking sensitive, fuck you.

[–] Pothetato@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

I think I was born in like...9 out of 12 months.

[–] jopepa@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Horo/scopes are such bullshit anyone could relate to all of these. Just broad strokes with charged language to make people feel known by the universe.

[–] Seraph@kbin.social 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You didn't read it, did you?

I'd rather relate to none of these, but apparently I also need to apologize to my FBI agent.

[–] jopepa@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I hate to use the /s but I guess it’s necessary

[–] Seraph@kbin.social 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I can absolutely imagine someone on this site having that opinion hence my confusion.

[–] EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Text does not convey tone or subtext in general well at all. Thus, never assume that sarcasm will be obvious to absolutely everybody. So, just to be safe, it's best to just always use /s if you're being sarcastic, at least when speaking amongst the general public.

[–] breathless_RACEHORSE@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As an Aquarius limp ramen noodle, I can relate to this horoscope. Trick is, I HAVE gotten used to being alone, and enjoy it. Now I'm going to go and weep quietly in the corner.

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Apparently I'm also an aquarius, even if I was born in June. Who knew!

[–] LaggySnake@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

as an aquarius this is very relatable

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 5 points 6 months ago

Funny enough to begin with, but what makes it even better is that mine is actually somewhat accurate.

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've never believed in horoscopes until just now, when I read the Scorpio section.

[–] bibliotectress@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I'm a Virgo and now I feel depressed. :(

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

As a Libra, I feel called out

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

Meeh, mine's not that bad 🤷 😂.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Virgo is spot on