this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
1105 points (98.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26381 readers
3093 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 40 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Finger into the jar of peanut butter it is, then.

[–] FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Hehe...yeah....finger.... definitely my finger....

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 17 points 9 months ago

Relevant username?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

opening theme to American Pie starts playing

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack

[–] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Peanut butter is the snack food I have to leave at the store. I can eat like 1,000Cal of it in a few minutes.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 8 points 9 months ago

PB is so delicious though...

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just go on keto or similar and now you're maintaining a perfect diet.

[–] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

It's still a crap-ton of calories, at least the way I eat it. I've proven you can gain weight on keto. It's harder but snacking on PB all day is one way to get enough calories to do it.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 37 points 9 months ago (7 children)

It's even worse for me. I can leave the snacks at the store all I want, but I can't escape because I can bake. If I get bored I'll end up making cookies.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 13 points 9 months ago

At least then, I can tell myself I have to work for the snacks if I REALLY want them.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 8 points 9 months ago

Don't buy sugar then

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Try this one, simply don't buy any bags of sugar

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

But then I can't have homemade cookies that are so fluffy and flavorful.

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

I started making cookies when bored and snacky too, it's dangerous!

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

Wanna come get bored at my house? I have all the sugar these guys keep telling you not to buy

[–] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

It's so easy too, and really only takes a few minutes of work. I'm a little mad at my mom for teaching me to bake.

[–] registrert@lemmy.sambands.net 32 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Let's check the fridge and cupboards again, maybe some snacks have materialised since the last time we checked.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Snacks don't materialize, standards get lower.

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Cheese and some hotsauce, call it the depression meal. God help me if I have to start just drinking cold water and hope the feeling passes. Fuck all those places that were open 24hrs before covid and now close at 2200.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I used to drunkenly crave chips and ice cream and would forget that I set a reminder to buy them the next day. And as sober-me wisely dismissed those reminders, the reminders would get progressively angrier and more forceful. It was kind of hilarious.

[–] Smeagol666@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

Shit, that's hillarious. I could see someone doing a whole YT channel of sober me vs. drunk me arguements. Way better than "WaTcH tHiS (insert demograhic) pErSoN lIsTeN tO Led Zeppelin FoR tHe FiRsT TiMe".

[–] AnarchistsForDemocracy@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

snack withdrawals are the worst.

I laid off the snacks and the next day my skin turned a deep green hue, my toe nails started to taste like grape jelly, I was unable to go to the bathroom, and the worst symptom my ears started to flap as if ready for take off...

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What an incredible painting, anyone have the source?

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

U da mvp thanks homie

[–] hark@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

The withdrawals are a pain, but they do eventually go away... until I have little a snack (as a treat) and the cravings come back something fierce. Still, my laziness not wanting to go to the store outweighs my cravings.

[–] technologicalcaveman@kbin.social 7 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I just eat a raw onion. (Not joke)

[–] atx_aquarian@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

I think eating a chunk of raw onion was about the only time normal food made me feel as bad as if I'd drank too much crappy liquor.

[–] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just don't be my old roommate who would microwave it for 8 minutes first.

[–] Hellstormy@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

That would be nearly disintegrated if he really did it for 8min

[–] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Nope, they basically become sautéed onions. The layers kinda pop out one by one. Iirc it was only an 800W microwave.

I'd say you're welcome to try it yourself, but be warned that literally everything you own will smell like onions.

[–] Chriswild@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Really most fruits and veggies are fine for snacking. Celery is super easy but I will also mix mustard and balsamic vinegar into a dressing for spinach, tomatoe, bell pepper salad

[–] JoShmoe@lemmy.zip 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh man, now you’re just gonna have to make something fresh to snack on. Bummer

[–] ilikecoffee@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Fresh snacks just don't feel the same tho..

[–] JoShmoe@lemmy.zip 4 points 9 months ago

I suppose corn syrup has a unique feel to it.

[–] lennybird@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Okay hear me out. Sauerkraut. Don't get the canned stuff; get the refrigerated sauerkraut as that's hugely beneficial to your gut. I find snacking on a bit of that satiates my snacking drive in the evening.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Dawg I could kill a bag of peppermint patties rn I should have gotten some

[–] Threeme2189@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

When you say bag how many are we talking about? I could never eat more than a couple at one time. Too much choco-mint-sweetness for me.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm talking one of these

Brand censored because I don't advertise for free

[–] Smeagol666@lemm.ee 9 points 9 months ago

Good thing too; the peppermint patty market is so oversaturated no one will ever guess what brand it is.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Ugh, craving Jax! Settled for cracking some hazelnuts.

[–] XpeeN@sopuli.xyz 5 points 9 months ago

F it, let's make some popcorn!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Wait... you don't buy snacks at the supermarket?

[–] netwren@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Why does this remind me of Glen from IASIP