this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 191 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Bruh, can you tuck me in?" πŸ˜‚

[–] einlander@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aye bruh, can I get a goodnight kiss?

[–] evil_ostrich@lemmy.world 132 points 1 year ago (6 children)

My daughter calls me Daddio.

It's pretty fucking awesome.

Sounds like she is one cool cat.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 12 points 1 year ago

It's only cool if you look like that guy from the Iron Giant.

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[–] Naja_Kaouthia@lemmy.world 110 points 1 year ago (9 children)

My kids already call me bruh.

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 77 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me. if I was having sex with someone and they called me daddy I'd probably immediately go soft

[–] M137@lemm.ee 26 points 1 year ago

I get soft even if it just pops up in a title when looking at porn. It's just deeply off-putting.

[–] Sheeple@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Just you wait until you meet people with mommy issues. THOSE you wanna avoid

Mostly because I'm my experience people with mommy issues tend to be male NEETs who are incapable of seeing any woman as just a friend. Usually incels too. I found them to be kind of abusive as people too and turn vindictive when you don't feed into their fantasies. As a woman, it's always the same old story when I encounter these men.

Meanwhile people with daddy issues usually have their shit together regardless of gender.

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[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My partner calls me daddy and she's older yhan me, so... what does that make me???

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[–] MudMan@kbin.social 67 points 1 year ago (5 children)

You can do "Pa". It's objectively impossible to sexualize "Pa". You could try, but it'd immediately nuke the mood from orbit.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] MudMan@kbin.social 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Note that Pa and papi are very much not the same.

You can totally sexualize "papi". It's hard not to, honestly. Pa, though? Well, check out the rest of these replies and tell me if they sound like flirty sexy times or like they're trying to warn me that we forgot to bring the sheep back in for the night.

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[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You sure about that pa? Ugh. I literally shuttered while typing this.

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Pa~ πŸ₯°πŸ˜‰πŸ˜©πŸ’¦

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[–] 257m@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"bruh or some shit" is a pretty long name.

[–] helixdaunting@lemm.ee 58 points 1 year ago

Use the acronym: BOSS

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

They shortened it to just "shit."

It might take a while to get all the syllables, and I fully expect them to get 'mama' first, but I'm gonna aim for 'destroyer of worlds'.

[–] LemmyIsFantastic@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Y'all watch too much porn. Touch grass.

[–] Ddhuud@lemmy.world 89 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] giggling_engine@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I shall fuck the dirt you walk on!

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[–] cooopsspace@infosec.pub 41 points 1 year ago

Tell Dad jokes and all you get it "bruh".

[–] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Aa shitposting, this is hilarious. Given some comments though... It's funny. People think this is a new thing. It's just more in your face due to ubiquitous network we live in today. It has always been thus. Or did you think kinks just started after the Internet?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Steam powered, dildo machines were a thing....

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[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I henceforth refer to you as some shit

[–] RandomStickman@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ain't that Some Shit

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[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Thank goodness it's not sexualized in my language

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[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Sometimes my mom says I'm a good girl when I help her out and it kinda icks me out <.<; I'm like "uuucchh you're my mom, not my dom! Stop calling me that!" but I don't wanna actually say that to her because that seems like it'll just make the matter even more awkward.

Anyway, hi, Lemmy Shitpost, how are you :D πŸ˜…πŸ€£

[–] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

you’re my mom, not my dom

This is such a great line but also super niche in situations where it’s appropriate. I think you gotta take the opportunity to drop it next time it appears… you have no choice

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You will be the father, they will be the son, and mom will be the Holy ghost.

porn music starts

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[–] RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Forgive me father for I have sinned

[–] Sheeple@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry daddy I have been bad

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Im vewy sowwy daddy I've been naughty

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[–] Very_Bad_Janet@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My kids call me bruh and I'm their mom, so, eh.

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[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

that guy needs to stop watching so much porn

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago

Yes, daddy. :(

[–] arin@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Pastor boys in shambles

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