I've been trained in gorilla warfare
this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Please do it anon and make sure you film this great achievement.
just jump over the fence into the zoo enclosure with him, and you'll probably get your chance
All ya doubters sound like Joe Rogan on a chimp rant right now. Gorilla glazers....
The gorilla will use his insides as an Onahole when he's finished with him.
I think he's on to something... In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.
Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.
Sounds like an average minimum wage jog tbh.
What's gorilla gonna do? Bite him?
Mike Tyson was going to fight a gorilla in his prime. The zoo keepers denied his request. While he can punch a hole in a human's chest, that gorilla was going to rip his arms off with absolutely no effort.
Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs
According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.
They have an arm span of over 8 ft.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
they can lift 1800 lbs.
For a real-world comparison, ever try to move someone that's passed out? That's probably in the ballpark of 200lbs.
Now imagine lifting six people at once.
Current world records for a deadlift top out just shy of 1200 lbs.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
OP is definitely going to need a beefy insurance policy, a last will, and a pre-ordered coffin. Maybe they get ahead of the game and just give someone full power of attorney the day before. Assuming they stay in one piece, it's possible that they could survive, but they're going to need a new skeleton and a few vital organs to pull that off.
Assuming Anon has an estate to put in order... smh my head.
Look, Jim-Bob needs to know whether he's getting to contents of that trailer or not.
Don't forget the bite force. Monkeys bite.
An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.
I say let him. We really don't need people like this anyway.
Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.
This made me think of that time my partner's brother told me in complete earnest that he'd be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.
In his defense, you only have to run at 20mph for about a step as you'd be slowing down pretty fast.
Your torso and face certainly make for an effective, if slightly messy, brake.
😂👍🤣
Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don't actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.
if it wasn't so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.
Could only improve the human gene pool.
Prove it.
That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.
My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people
The gorilla only needs to land one blow though, or even just bite your hand.
They're pretty telegraphed, but you don't get iframes in real life. All the gorilla needs to do is sweep his arms and grab you and then he can just rip you apart.
If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.
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I'd fight a gorilla, and win.
It would be a gun fight, from a distance, but a fight none-the-less, and I guarantee you, I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
Insert Planet of the Apes intro.
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Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they're smaller than an adult man wtf!
Id personally be more scared of the chimp. The gorilla is mostly a peaceful animal.
Mike Tyson, in his prime, wanted to fight a gorilla. Mike Tyson was told he would be killed and backed down.
Well, he might rape the gorilla, then everyone will spend the next 2 decades defending him...
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The gorilla will rip his arms off and beat him to death with them before he even attempts to dodge it.
Apparently gorillas are about 5 times stronger than a chimp, and I've seen what a chimp can do to a person.
Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don't find us the slightest bit threatening.
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