this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 22 comments
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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

When I turn into a Lizard, do I get a cloaca? Do I get a magnicifent tail?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 8 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Don't believe this shit!
What they don't tell you:
- the erection works on female genitalia only
- you are a lizard only long enough to awkwardly shed your skin then turn right back
- you actually have to consume 5 litres of jizz to produce that 1 litre

Think before you moss!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

you actually have to consume 5 litres of jizz to produce that 1 litre

How is that a downside?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, you get to consume 5l, then that 1l, then the 0.25l after that, then the 0.05l, etc. It just doesn't stop.

The downside you get infinitely fat (a walking yo mamma joke). Don't forget you will wanna eat that lizard skin too.

Wait, you think very noticeably erect vaginas are a downside?

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I'm pretty sure that series converges, it's not an infinite sum, so the cum literally has a limit.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Who's gonna tell Zucc that it only works on organic beings?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 hours ago

Hitler when he's in Nazi hell

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 16 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

One liter! That would require his balls to be at least 12.4 cm in diameter.

He better stay hydrated!

[–] rarWars@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Each individual ball would actually be about 9.85cm, assuming they're both the same size.

https://www.wolframalpha.com/input?i=diameter+of+a+0.5L+sphere+in+centimeters

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 1 points 1 hour ago

True if the goal is for the total volume should be 1 liter but men switch between balls for each ejaculation.

So the total volume should be 2 liters for it to work in our fantasy world where everything comes from the balls.

[–] zagaberoo@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

The balls would be normal size because they don't produce semen, just the negligable volume that consists of the actual sperm cells.

That's why it's still possible to ejaculate normally after getting a vasectomy. Well, normally other than the normal degree of fertility.

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 1 points 1 hour ago

You are totally correct, but I don't let facts interfere with a good shit post (or semen post in this case).

[–] rarWars@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 hours ago

According to Wikipedia, jizz is 2-5% sperm by volume. Assuming the mean of 3.5, that's still a 3.2cm sphere of sperm; add all the supportive tissue and germ cells surrounding it (which make up the majority of testicular volume) and that would definitely be larger than the typical 5×2×3cm ellipsoid.

[–] philycheeze@sh.itjust.works 3 points 12 hours ago (4 children)

How does one do the math on this?

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 6 hours ago

It's more applied math: handjobs and beakers

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 9 points 12 hours ago

It's basic ball Math they teach it in highschool.

[–] jyl@sopuli.xyz 5 points 12 hours ago

volume is 4/3πr^3^

I'm not going suffer my phone keyboard further for zuccs balls.

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

I just brute forced with some values https://www.omnicalculator.com/math/sphere-volume

The correct way is to isolate v and solve for r

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

That's right. More cum than you can imagine.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Thats a challenging thought, and a challenge only the brave accept.

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

After the his eyes went wondering I'm glad to finally say he's just a man