Lemmy Shitpost
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Yeah turns out, "sitting in my room alone playing video games," isn't much of an alibi. I should get some hobbies that involve people. Like...multi-player games.
This is why there are so many Twitch streamers. They get nothing out of it except for a perfect alibi.
Funny story, (Funny might not be the right word) there actually was a killer who murdered his girlfriend because she was pregnant and didn't want an abortion.
In order to cover for this, he found out exactly how long it'd take to get to her house and back, recorded him playing GTA for that long.
He was found out because cameras on the street found him walking near her house, during the "live" event.
There were also bugs in the stream where the message "Time to die" showed up (in the context of an "ad" for a James Bond film), which were just his little way of bragging about his crime, like he was the Riddler or something.
He did too good a job with his timing, because the "glitch" happened pretty much exactly at the time of death.
I've seen enough of these "Perfect Murder Fails" go wrong, and it's usually people who think they're more clever than they really are pretty much giving all the evidence to the police.
I know of another where a film maker rented an old house, made it look like a stereotypical serial killer's lair, filmed part of a low budget horror movie on it, and then killed a guy there.
Lemme lay down some flash non-fiction written in first person to tell you how that went
"See, it looks like a murder happened here, but the brilliant part is: It's a set for a movie that I can prove I've been making! Meaning I can just not clean up after my own killing and hide in plain sight! Aaaaaand they're testing the fake blood I used because it doesn't look or smell anything like costume blood.... And I left my manifesto cleverly disguised as my script in the car that they can now search because the blood tested positive for being real blood, meaning probable cause. I'll just say it's my own blood and I wanted it to be realistic! That can salvage this! Oh right tests like that also kinda tell you who's blood it is, meaning they know it's the victms.... and my "script" describes the victim's wounds so perfectly it can't be coincidence... Wow, I'm fucked."
The story of the filmmaker is probably one of the funniest true crime stories I've ever heard. Obviously, the murder itself is incredibly tragic, because that shitstain just catfished some random guy and murdered him in cold blood purely to stroke his ego, but the story literally feels like a dark comedy.
However, the dude thought he was basically Dexter and far more intelligent than he actually was. He wrote a fucking screenplay describing himself as this super genius sex machine, while documenting his crime in great detail and claiming it was just a coincidence the murder lined up almost identically. Then the way he tried to cover his tracks were so comically inept, it only made his guilt even more obvious.
Thats honesty pretty clever.
completelynormalthingtodo but sometimes i think about the perfect alibi for a crime and how you could pre-record a livestream with an excuse like "today i'm playing a VR game so sorry chat if i don't interact with you much this stream!" if you're feeling brave at the end say a vague "thank you all for watching, and thank you so much for all the donations, if you want it read though next time donate when i can see the chat haha" and would you look at that, thousands of witnesses saw you livestreaming at home, twitch.tv itself will confirm the exact time you went "live"
then all you'd have to do is get rid of the original file, best if you physically destroyed the disk it was on to prevent any chance of data recovery
probably has some flaws but i did think of it in the shower so don't use it to do crime
I just read an old [1940s?] mystery where the culprit records himself on a new fangled phonograph record and then uses that to cover his crime. His employees know he's in the habit of locking his door and playing loud music/talking to himself while he works, so no one suspects locks the door to his office. Later they all swear he was at work when the murder occurred.
That's one of the main points in the podcast Serial. It opens with a question like, "do you remember where you were on Tuesday at 4:45 five weeks ago?"
The person accused of the crime was a highschool student on the 90s before smart phones. When they said they were at track practice after school, it then became "can you prove where you were?"
Somewhat fortunately modern technology solved most of this. It's just a matter of asking the right company to provide proof.
That actually played a part in it as well. Ultimately the kid was convicted because of cell phone location data. Part of the controversy was that an expert for the telephone company didn't testify at the time that the data was inaccurate.
tbh i don't even know how many days ago christmas was.
It's ok, your phone tracks your location.
So leave it at home when you go on that crime spree.
even better, lend it to a friend to carry around town
I was at home, posting on Lemmy.
Strange. I'm at home posting on Lemmy but I don't see you anywhere. GUILTY!
What a strage thing for you to say, since I was at home posting on Lemmy, yet you were nowhere to be seen!!!
This is why it's common in the black community to get a receipt whenever you buy anything. You can't prove where you are at all times, but you can prove that you were at a particular time and place. Might save you from being railroaded for a crime you didn't commit.
"When the heck would I ever need to prove I paid for a doughnut?"
"When you're being tried for murder and the only alibi you got is buying a doughnut."
Damn, never thought of that. There's a REASON I might need to prove I bought a doughnut!
I have never heard that before, but that makes a depressing amount of sense.
And not so you are not accused of stealing? That's my reason of getting receipts.
I like all the suggestions in here about how to avoid getting caught for murder through your phone
My tip for not getting caught would be: probably don't murder someone in the first place unless they really really deserve it
There are nearly 3000 billionaires worldwide. Collectively they own 14 trillion in wealth.
This is nearly double all of the wealth held by every other person in the world, combined.
That's why my dad told me to always get a receipt. It's not a business thing, it's an alibi thing!
Is he still getting cigarettes?
Mines got a twenty year trail of receipts. The stores keep mailing them to us & it’s the only way we know where he is
I’ve been watching a lot of those documentaries and they are just making me hate the police even more. Most come down to complete ineptitude and ignorance by the police who are ignoring red flags and being lazy idiots
I think if you have a Fitbit or something similar on they can prove where you are?
Just having your phone should do that.
So, so many crimes are solved mainly through phone metadata
Just remember boys and girls, leave your phone at home when you go murder.
Wear a mask that looks like a humans face, use common pistols or just stab the man, keep it quiet and use outfits that you can abandon with ease, check for cameras a week prior, find a safehouse that you either broke into or can guarantee it's safety