this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Death_to_cumskins@lemm.ee 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

The people who binge those murder shows and podcasts are the same personality of those who love gore images and videos.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 37 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] winkerjadams@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 31 minutes ago

Your chronically online personality is the perfect alibi via internet history 😎

I’ve been watching a lot of those documentaries and they are just making me hate the police even more. Most come down to complete ineptitude and ignorance by the police who are ignoring red flags and being lazy idiots

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 13 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

That's why my dad told me to always get a receipt. It's not a business thing, it's an alibi thing!

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 7 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Is he still getting cigarettes?

[–] beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago

Mines got a twenty year trail of receipts. The stores keep mailing them to us & it’s the only way we know where he is

[–] BigGovernment@lemmy.world 27 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (4 children)

This is why it's common in the black community to get a receipt whenever you buy anything. You can't prove where you are at all times, but you can prove that you were at a particular time and place. Might save you from being railroaded for a crime you didn't commit.

[–] dev_null@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 hours ago

And not so you are not accused of stealing? That's my reason of getting receipts.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 16 hours ago

"When the heck would I ever need to prove I paid for a doughnut?"

"When you're being tried for murder and the only alibi you got is buying a doughnut."

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I have never heard that before, but that makes a depressing amount of sense.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 20 hours ago

Damn, never thought of that. There's a REASON I might need to prove I bought a doughnut!

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 33 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

It's ok, your phone tracks your location.

So leave it at home when you go on that crime spree.

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

How will I be able to get anyway without map on my phone?

[–] Darkenfolk@dormi.zone 1 points 36 minutes ago* (last edited 35 minutes ago)

Boomer commentary about millennials and their atrocious map reading skills, while autofellatioing about their own generations map reading skills which they needed for travelling uphill towards their school which was situated on a tundra mountain.

[–] amon@lemmy.world 18 points 21 hours ago

even better, lend it to a friend to carry around town

[–] Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I like all the suggestions in here about how to avoid getting caught for murder through your phone

My tip for not getting caught would be: probably don't murder someone in the first place unless they really really deserve it

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

I guess we're all Luigis now.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

That doesn’t protect your ass when you get accused of a crime you didn’t commit.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 10 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

There are nearly 3000 billionaires worldwide. Collectively they own 14 trillion in wealth.

This is nearly double all of the wealth held by every other person in the world, combined.

[–] guiguinofake@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Why don't we just get rid of them? Are we stupid?

[–] guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] gwen@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

fr -- but /c/wooosh, it's batmanarkham reference

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Help a guy who's never played a Batman game out.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 12 hours ago

Perfect cover, Scott....

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 9 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

what is the definition of really really deserve it?

[–] Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

Being too inquisitive

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 4 points 21 hours ago

top marks for not tryin

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[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 89 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah turns out, "sitting in my room alone playing video games," isn't much of an alibi. I should get some hobbies that involve people. Like...multi-player games.

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 1 day ago (11 children)

This is why there are so many Twitch streamers. They get nothing out of it except for a perfect alibi.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I am envisioning the perfect mystery novel for the proper author.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 12 hours ago

Sounds more just like a one-off episode of Poker Face or Elsbeth or some shit...

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[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think if you have a Fitbit or something similar on they can prove where you are?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Just having your phone should do that.

So, so many crimes are solved mainly through phone metadata

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Just remember boys and girls, leave your phone at home when you go murder.

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