this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 89 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah turns out, "sitting in my room alone playing video games," isn't much of an alibi. I should get some hobbies that involve people. Like...multi-player games.

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 1 day ago (4 children)

This is why there are so many Twitch streamers. They get nothing out of it except for a perfect alibi.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 29 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Funny story, (Funny might not be the right word) there actually was a killer who murdered his girlfriend because she was pregnant and didn't want an abortion.

In order to cover for this, he found out exactly how long it'd take to get to her house and back, recorded him playing GTA for that long.

He was found out because cameras on the street found him walking near her house, during the "live" event.

There were also bugs in the stream where the message "Time to die" showed up (in the context of an "ad" for a James Bond film), which were just his little way of bragging about his crime, like he was the Riddler or something.

He did too good a job with his timing, because the "glitch" happened pretty much exactly at the time of death.

I've seen enough of these "Perfect Murder Fails" go wrong, and it's usually people who think they're more clever than they really are pretty much giving all the evidence to the police.

I know of another where a film maker rented an old house, made it look like a stereotypical serial killer's lair, filmed part of a low budget horror movie on it, and then killed a guy there.

Lemme lay down some flash non-fiction written in first person to tell you how that went

"See, it looks like a murder happened here, but the brilliant part is: It's a set for a movie that I can prove I've been making! Meaning I can just not clean up after my own killing and hide in plain sight! Aaaaaand they're testing the fake blood I used because it doesn't look or smell anything like costume blood.... And I left my manifesto cleverly disguised as my script in the car that they can now search because the blood tested positive for being real blood, meaning probable cause. I'll just say it's my own blood and I wanted it to be realistic! That can salvage this! Oh right tests like that also kinda tell you who's blood it is, meaning they know it's the victms.... and my "script" describes the victim's wounds so perfectly it can't be coincidence... Wow, I'm fucked."

[–] hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

The story of the filmmaker is probably one of the funniest true crime stories I've ever heard. Obviously, the murder itself is incredibly tragic, because that shitstain just catfished some random guy and murdered him in cold blood purely to stroke his ego, but the story literally feels like a dark comedy.

However, the dude thought he was basically Dexter and far more intelligent than he actually was. He wrote a fucking screenplay describing himself as this super genius sex machine, while documenting his crime in great detail and claiming it was just a coincidence the murder lined up almost identically. Then the way he tried to cover his tracks were so comically inept, it only made his guilt even more obvious.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

because that shitstain literally just catfished some random guy and murdered him in cold blood purely to stroke his ego, but the story literally feels like a dark comedy.

It gets worse, that was actually the second victim. The first one got away and refused to report it fearing he would be judged as unmanly for not being able to fight back. If he had simply called the cops, the second guy didn't need to die.

[–] beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

That’s assuming a LOT from police. Remember how police LITERALLY HEARD AND SAW Jeffrey Dahmer’s victim begging for help and then GAVE HIM BACK to the killer bc they thought it a gay sex game & they didn’t want to be involved

Going to the police guarantees nothing

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 10 hours ago

Depressingly True...

[–] lud@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago

Thats honesty pretty clever.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I am envisioning the perfect mystery novel for the proper author.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 15 hours ago

Sounds more just like a one-off episode of Poker Face or Elsbeth or some shit...

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

completelynormalthingtodo but sometimes i think about the perfect alibi for a crime and how you could pre-record a livestream with an excuse like "today i'm playing a VR game so sorry chat if i don't interact with you much this stream!" if you're feeling brave at the end say a vague "thank you all for watching, and thank you so much for all the donations, if you want it read though next time donate when i can see the chat haha" and would you look at that, thousands of witnesses saw you livestreaming at home, twitch.tv itself will confirm the exact time you went "live"

then all you'd have to do is get rid of the original file, best if you physically destroyed the disk it was on to prevent any chance of data recovery

probably has some flaws but i did think of it in the shower so don't use it to do crime

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago

I just read an old [1940s?] mystery where the culprit records himself on a new fangled phonograph record and then uses that to cover his crime. His employees know he's in the habit of locking his door and playing loud music/talking to himself while he works, so no one suspects locks the door to his office. Later they all swear he was at work when the murder occurred.

[–] Yggnar@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

There is a dude who did exactly that while committing a murder and got caught. I think this article is talking about the case I'm thinking of: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/feb/02/man-charged-with-ni-faked-live-stream-to-provide-alibi

[–] ordellrb@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

and you could prerecord the stream...