this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
792 points (97.1% liked)

Microblog Memes

6752 readers
3463 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] TheImpressiveX@lemm.ee 118 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The proper terminology is WAN - a Wide Anal Network.

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Got 3 bathrooms in my house does that make a local anal network?

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Would a bedpan be a Personal Anal Network?

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I believe that would be an air gapped device, or a thumb drive.

[–] sulgoth@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago
[–] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This one is disgustingly accurate..

Due to the Honeywagon

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

Any network I join is a wide anal network

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Botzo@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I never thought I'd feel so isolated on my septic system...

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

You’re connected through your leech fields and the water table, maybe? Kinda like that one friend trying to connect on their mobile hotspot. Everyone still loves them.

[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Decentralized encrypting shitting

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 46 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Gonna need fiber for that.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Just like a data network, fiber makes the transfers faster.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

poot poot

Pick up the fart phone

[–] xintrik@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

Stream of subconscious

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 33 points 2 months ago

One word -

Airgap

[–] NigelSimmons@startrek.website 31 points 2 months ago

I'll leave this here...

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (7 children)
[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I need more broadband because my upload is too big

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

there's enough data in my bum i don't want more

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (3 children)

When you open Lemmy you are connected to every persons phone and can ruin their day in an instant.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

I mean, I come across a lot of off putting comments, but I am sure others think the same of mine. We all deserve each other, yaay \o/

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] unphazed@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm on a private intranet then. I have a septic system.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 15 points 2 months ago

OH my friend reminded me I'm on a septic tank? how can I get my butthole connected pls

[–] kasagawa@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] nifty@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Ew, thanks I love it

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

Makes me feel very connected, thanks.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Aka the sphincternet.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago
[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago

Enshittification of the buttnet must continue!

[–] mudmaniac@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

There is an air gap. You're safe.

But if water splashes up then it's GAME OVER MAN.

[–] benderbeerman@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So a p-trap is kinda like a butt firewall then

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago

Guess it’s the ~~Fediverse~~ shittyverse

[–] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

At first read this as massaged, and that context definitely puts this in a different light

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Not only that, but the massage is hot, stoned and Swedish

[–] r4venw@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I've had this recurring nightmare for the last twenty or so years where I go to sit on a toilet and a disembodied hand comes out of the drain-hole hand first and touches my butt.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What are your thoughts on skibidi toilet?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 5 points 2 months ago

Interfacing through the porcelain terminal, Case jacked into the waste-processing network

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

upload only... at least on my side, one large packet at the time, or a bunch of small packets depending on recent past diet

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] helpmyusernamewontfi@lemmy.today 5 points 2 months ago

Reading this while on the shitter

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And your nose and mouth is connected to everyone too.
All in the vast ocean of air. You are inhaling what others exhale.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] aido@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Move to a house with a septic tank

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Why? Butt network is life.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago

This is actually a joke from the Blue Man Group's The Complex tour (not saying it's a "stolen joke").

load more comments
view more: next ›