this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
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I mean realistically

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[–] lath@lemmy.world 81 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Realistically, i'd go to city hall and hand in my death certificate. They'll take it in because they're not being paid enough to care. Then i'd be legally dead. Afterwards i'd go into the mountains and probably die because i don't know how to live in the mountains, but it sounded nice in my mind.

[–] nodsocket@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

"I'm dead now. Here's my death certificate."

glances up from desk and takes paper

"mm, ok."

[–] thisfro@slrpnk.net 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

But how would you get a death certificate? Where I live, only doctors can sign them/hand them out

[–] DaGeek247@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Forge it. Governments mostly take paperwork in good faith, and only question it beyond surface level if they are given a reason to.

[–] thisfro@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

Fair enough

[–] HurlingDurling@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

Step 1. Go to medical school

[–] lath@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Realistically? Either bribe a doc or make a fake one.

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 28 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There's a Spanish movie about a guy who goes into the mountains to commit suicide but in the end chickens. Instead of going back home he stays in the mountains and lives by gathering what he can find and stealing food. He takes vegetables from the fields, steals some eggs, chickens, stuff like that. He than finds abandoned house, cleans it a bit and starts growing some food. It's based on a true story and I'm pretty sure you could still do it. There's a lot of abandoned houses where I live, the winders are mild. I will try to find that movie, they don't say a single word in it so it's not an issue it's Spanish.

If you want better quality of life you would have to go to some developing country and do physical work for cash. Even better than that would require fake documents which gets risky, especially in foreign country.

[–] Junkers_Klunker@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want to see that movie 👌

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Found the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnGcC9c_PC0

The entire movie is pretty much like that, just slow scenes from the guy's life. Very peaceful, I liked it.

It can be hard to download but it's available on this platform: https://www.filmin.es/pelicula/el-perdido?origin=searcher&origin-query=primary

It's also hard to find more info but supposedly it's base on a true story of a young man who lived alone in the mountains for 14 years. It happened in southern Spain so right where I live. Can't find more info though.

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://www.piped.video/watch?v=YnGcC9c_PC0

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

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[–] Canadian_Cabinet@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago

¡He visto esa película antes! En secundaria, creo. Aunque no tengo ni idea por que nos la habían enseñado.

[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Kind of similar sounding, I want saw a movie about a guy who jumps over the side of a freeway to try and commit suicide and then ends up getting trapped on a little island under the freeway. He ends up like needing to do a little farm or something down there if I'm remembering correctly. I actually really enjoyed the premise now that I'm thinking about it

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 4 points 1 year ago

Yes, Korean I believe. Similar but more fantasy like. 'El Perdido' was based on a true story. The Korean one was called.... Castaway on the Moon. Jesus, my memory is sooo good :)

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Where do you live that has mild winters and abandoned houses?

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 8 points 1 year ago

Southern Spain. When hiking you see a lot of empty houses, sometimes even entire settlements that used to house ~100 people. My guess is that you can also find some deeper in the mounts, father away from the trails.

Many years ago I've met a guy while hiking in Poland. He was heading to some valley where he knew empty house was. He said that during summer he goes to a house like this, plants some vegetables and lives there till winter. During winter he worked to earn enough money to survive next summer. Quite different because of the weather but I mean he was able to just go to an empty house in the mountains and live there for months.

[–] Staple_Diet@aussie.zone 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's tricky and of course context dependent. It'd be much easier if there was no apparent motive (massive debt, impending arrest, history of fraud etc). I've often thought a holiday to a developing country with porous borders would be your best bet. If you are in a western nation it's quite difficult to disappear within your own borders, and it is hard to survive without an identity. Even then, most western nations will send someone/s to investigate your disappearance or pursue the matter via Interpol etc. Add to this your appearance is likely to raise attention if you are obviously not a local (in my case I am a white AF guy with tattoos who would not melt into the background in India). Further, no matter the money you have you ultimately want some type of identity and passport in case your current situation gets hot. In my scenario I would travel to country A using my legitimate credentials, then disappear (drowning is a good one, cheers Harold). I'd then leg it to the neighbouring country (country B) where I'd attempt to get a new identity using forgeries I'd already organised from another country different to my home. Once I can establish my identity in country B (residency over months/years etc) I'd then move to my final destination and keep my head down.

There's plenty of stories of those who try to restart and get caught (Nick Rossi, John Darwin). Common thread is they don't completely break from their previous life, or they move somewhere too obvious. Another key point is having to deal with some real sketchy people to make all of this happen properly. You'd essentially need to be smuggled across borders and acquire forged documents.

I'd be keen to hear others back-of-napkin plans.

[–] gunpachi@lemmings.world 5 points 1 year ago

Now this is the kind of comment I was waiting for. Thanks a lot.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

People dying in foreign countries seem to always pop up in the news. You end up with a bigger investigation imo. I think the best is kayaking accident at home. Drowning is a great choice since it makes sense a body isnt recovered.

That being said, faking your own death is almost always the bad move. You end up having to live like a dog and probably end up getting caught eventually, might as well just do the time (I always assume it's about dodging prison)

[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I remember reading ages ago that the best way to get a US citizenship was to swim ashore naked and pretend to have amnesia. I guess some iteration of this should work in most countries that are not landlocked or have big rivers.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You'd have to have an american accent though for it to work

[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 8 points 1 year ago

The idea was that accents didn't matter. It was exploiting some bureaucratic hell where there is no way out if you don't provide your country of origin. Can't be deported if they don't know where to deport you to, I guess.

I wouldn't be sticking to US, though. Any country you can speak some language of should do.

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[–] runjun@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

‘You alright, Buddy? Do you remember anything?’

‘I…I remember the Alamo.’

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I have a friend who works at the morgue. He drives the hearse, picks up bodies that don't need autopsies, prepares the bodies, hosts the funurals, a lot of it. He knows the guys who operate the crematorium and dig the graves well. He can make a body disappear. He also finds plenty of John Does, unidentified bodies. Mostly ones that float up to the shore, severely decayed. He's told me if I needed, I'd just have to lay low for a few weeks and he'd have a body in my casket.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Be rich

Plan expedition.

Don't return.

[–] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you mix in big cats, a wife you can loosely pin your death on and a polygamist that wants her dead... you're golden.

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 year ago

You seem like a cool cat or kitten.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 2 points 1 year ago

Just take on some loans and credit cards, buy a bunch of cool survivor gear and get one if those van life vans and flea the country

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Whatever you're trying to accomplish with your fake death, there are easier, brtter ways to do it.

[–] gunpachi@lemmings.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are probably right. I just wanted to know how people would handle faking their death and live on with it.

[–] DaGeek247@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Avoiding anything other than government (up to and including a corrupt cop or town)? Drop a gallon of your own stored blood in your residence, hitchike to a state or three away, grab an under the table job and never do anything like file for taxes, credit, or use your real name.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Probably just try to disappear suddenly and people will just assume you died somehow. You’d have to cut-off contact with absolutely everybody. Go to a foreign country, probably third-world, where things are a bit more lax in terms of tracking people, and just start a new life there. You could try to do it in America, but it’s much harder to accomplish with licenses and social security numbers and all that required to do anything. It’s hard for a person to truly disappear innAmerica. Learning another language would be almost certainly required, though Spanish or French might get you by depending on where you went. Even English might be good enough if you went to a country with some tourism business, you might even be able to make it as a tour guide or something.

[–] Hillock@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Faking your death should have a really dire reason for it. Just disappearing is much easier and safer. But I suppose the steps aren't that different.

Find a country with relaxed visa requirements. Anything where you can get married easily and obtain permanent residency will work. Solo travel to a nearby country. Find some kind of remote tourist attraction where getting lost seems plausible. Tell your friends or family you will go there. But instead of actually going there you take a land route to your final destination. Once you entered the country find someone to get married to to get permanent residency and working rights. Take their name. This step sounds harder than it is, plenty of people are willing to marry someone they just met. Don't forget you are only doing this for the visa not to actually have a fulfilled family life. So you don't have to love or even like them,

You are now in a country no one even thinks about looking for you with a new name. It wouldn't work if you are running from certain government agencies that are acively searching for you but for most other cases this should be easy enough.

You can take this step even further. For example Argentina offers you a second nationality/passport as soon as you have a Argentinian spouse. So you could repeat the steps with your new Argentinian name/passport. I am sure you will find some Argentinian willing to marry you and then let you disappear for a couple of thousands USD.

[–] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I remember after 9/11, there were rumors that some people who were working in the towers didn't actually die, they just took the opportunity to walk away from their lives and start over. Stuff like this helped fuel that idea: https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/amphtml/postsecret-9-11-note-haunts-people-on-september-11-anniversary-37055177.html

Did people really use 9/11 as an excuse to fake their death? No idea. Maybe the whole concept was made up by surviving families in an attempt to cope with their loved one's death.

[–] nodsocket@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I think most people would have been too panicked to exploit the situation in any meaningful way.

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wasn’t there a guy in the news quite recently who was discovered to be the person who walked out of his family one day and just disappeared? Apparently he was living like just a city away under a different name. That seems much easier than the other convuluted suggestions mentioned in this thread. He did get found out, but that was after so many years and because he never bothered to hide. If he moved every couple of years, he probably would’ve never been discovered.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

That largely depends on who is looking for you or if there's an actual assumption that you died or gone missing. Those circumstances you describe seem counterintuitive.

[–] DestroyerOfWorlds@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

fly into outerspace, become an Ice Pirate

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

That's so dumb, people would just follow your ice trail up into the sky and in to the XXX bar

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Realistically you'll lose your citizenship and ID. So move to a third world country and never log into your online accounts again.

[–] DaGeek247@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

So for example if you plan on walking into the mountains until people assume you’re dead and then leave, the right people will see and you’ll catch back on.

Only if you do something dumb like stick around in the same spot of wilderness for months on end. The whole point of disappearing is that you go to a new place and start a new life.

Made worse because we have progressed so far into forensics and many countries are using that to monitor peoples’ whereabouts.

Yes, but actually no. Just because they have the data doesn't mean they're actually using it. A government motivated to find you will be a huge problem to deal with. What exactly have you done to cause the government to want you specifically?

Soon there will be no running away from anything you want to run back to and no pretending to run.

Paranoid fearmongering. Breaking the law bad enough (regardless of how moral of a law it is) will absolutely get the government on your back, but just assuming that the law will turn into hellish big brother with motivated tracking is putting the cart before the horse. Yes, it's entirely possible that the current trajectory we have will get worse / follow a downward trend into 1984 style bullshit. Obviously that's why you prepare for that. But it does not mean it will follow a downward trend into 1984 territory, and assuming that it's impossible to stop that from happening means you've given up, and are therefore a part of the problem.

It’s why witness protection only works when it’s government-sponsored.

Citation needed.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

I would write a note starting with something like "aaah a levifold has got-" and then I would go live with the barmaid down the road.

[–] CrabAndBroom@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Not sure if it's the same everywhere, but in the country I'm from if you've been missing for 7 years they declare you legally dead, so if you have the ability to live off the radar after faking your own death anyway, I think the simplest way would probably be to just vanish and let the process run its course. Then it'd be all official anyway. Not sure what you'd do about a new identity and stuff though.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure. Any time you fake your death, you have to keep in mind that living humans need food, and so it's difficult to look like you stopped eating to someone who knows enough to monitor the food consumption of an area. It's one of those "the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime" situations (that saying always struck me as odd). Food is just one thing though that could be considered an expectation you can count on for all humans in order to track someone down. Therefore, I would have to either become a nomad and escape into the wood (or maybe a cave as friends of mine would suggest) or hide in someone's house away from law enforcement, but even then a bad set of circumstances can give me away.

[–] DaGeek247@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Oh, youre thinking about the actual death bit. There's a couple of ways to do it easier then holding your breath and hoping the coroner doesn't notice during the autopsy.

Head to a place that's known to be semi-dangerous for whatever reason (a beachfront hotel, mountains, etc). Inform people of your vacation plans, and then dissappear the same way that other people who probably died did. If you're really didcated, go to bear country, leave food out for a bear, and then dump some pre-drawn blood of yours around when a bear shows up and then disappear. Switch countries and never look back. This is a dick move, but if pretending death is the best solution you can find it should work well enough.

If you're just trying to run away, it's actually relatively easy. Sell/trash everything, buy an old car, drive across country, and start completely over without ever telling anyone where you went. Don't even sign into your old online accounts. As far as everyone but the government is concerned, you'll have disappeared. If you're leaving an abusive family behind or avoiding the mafia, this is plenty, and you don't have to worry about being deported. Spend a few years as a waiter or construction worker being paid under the table and as long as you keep that up, you're even invisible from the less proactive parts of the government.

I'll be honest, faking my death seems dramatic and way too complicated for any situation i can come up with. I'd just do the disappear thing and leave it at that.

[–] visnudeva@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

I would just disappear while traveling in the Himalayas or something similar.