this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've had this conversation:

We need to increase our velocity! Has the customer told us yet what they would like us to build?

[–] NewAgeOldPerson@reddthat.com 6 points 1 year ago

Unfortunately I can't have that chat ever. I'm the one (in most of my career, not now) responsible for telling my folks what the customer wants, and not in a sales way.

[–] TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com 34 points 1 year ago (5 children)

You can fix it later, but that doesn't mean you're going to.

[–] clb92@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago

Nothing's more permanent than a temporary solution.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Technical debt goes brrrrrrrrr

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They can't fire you if you're the only one who can fix your shit...

[–] TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, they can, they will just force some other poor programmer to read your code and figure it out. A profoundly miserable process, but someone is willing to do it.

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

my heart goes out to the poor soul who tries to make sense of my code

[–] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Later there will be other projects, other fires.

I’ve seen a “temporary fix” serve as a core element of a service stack for a company with annual revenue in the hundreds of millions for like at least 5 years.

[–] Gork@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 year ago

"Boss, most of the bricks we have are broken in pieces. We can't build the wall per specifications."

"We have a deadline, get it done however possible by the end of the day today."

[–] Narrrz@kbin.social 23 points 1 year ago

mmmm spaghetti code

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You have a problem with agile methodology, you have a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.

[–] crowsby@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

there’s a special place in heaven for kanban lovers that’s what i always say

[–] fulcrummed@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

To be faiiiiiir, it’s is the easiests of the ways of workins.

[–] NovaPrime@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] fulcrummed@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

To be faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiir 🎵

[–] psud@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I loved agile as an analyst, we used to use waterfall and you'd hear about incorrect designs months later, or not at all, where in agile you can work out the details with the programmers and get both nearer the business requirements, and better designs

Also I absolutely love the job of scrum master which had no equivalent in waterfall

[–] Lysergid@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I love waterfall as an developer, I’m using agile now and we have incomplete, conflicting designs every sprint, or spills which affect our metrics, where in waterfall you can workout all the details and have full vision of product and better design with less reworks.

Not to mock you. My point is that methodology is not import when team consists from responsible professionals

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think a lot of it dependent on management. If you have a good product manager, software architect (or whatever) who can have things solidly designed before sending it to development, agile works great. But if the people writing the cards suck at their job, well then the project isn't going to go well.

But then bad management is going to suck no matter what methodology is used.

[–] psud@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

You're right on. We have some good expertise left over from our previous methodology which was both waterfall and siloed so bad feature documents don't cause too much problem, but once our expertise retires (and we're not makeing new experts as the silos were removed) the features will need to great to get decent products

And bad management is the biggest thing to make a job miserable

[–] psud@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I don't take it as mocking or anything, I know that some devs in my team preferred waterfall. I'm just saying there are aspects of agile I really enjoy

Waterfall makes higher quality software in many circumstances. It's optimised for quality.

Agile is optimised for speed explicitly at the expense of quality. Whatever methodology you can only pick two between development speed, cost, and quality

There are some instances in which waterfall is not only entirely appropriate, but also the best possible choice in terms of work organization.

There are some instances in which agile is the best fit. Likewise kanban.

Different domains have different optimal workflows.

[–] spacedancer@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

This applies to lift-and-shift migrations too. “We need to migrate this now, let’s fix it as a next phase”, then it never gets fixed; instead of taking the opportunity to fix stuff as you build on a clean slate.

[–] notannpc@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

My conversation with the moronic MBAs that lead my org today. Who cares about doing impactful work when we can just do useless busy work that makes the nontechnical morons happy.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 1 year ago

"We're just using old, time tested frameworks. They worked fine in the past, they'll still work today for sure!"

[–] ConfirmingMoose@reddthat.com 7 points 1 year ago
[–] bilb@lem.monster 6 points 1 year ago

just keep coding, your employer will outsource you the very moment i seems convenient

[–] howdy@thesimplecorner.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

No conflict is for the weak.

[–] gkd@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago
[–] beigegull@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is there some reason that wall won't work fine?

[–] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’m not a mason, but I guess it would work, if it is vertically straight. It’s ugly though. The customer would complain…unless you hide it somehow.

[–] CoffeeBot@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago

It could also have less integrity (like my code) overall due to non uniform weight displacement. But I’m not an engineer.

[–] Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Paint it, a lot of paint, I mean layers upon layers of paint

[–] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

I’m not sure paint would cover it. Maybe some stucco or something.

[–] b14700@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

should work fine if there is no load on it , this seems deliberate for the look

[–] kreonn@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

That's actually a nice CSS.

[–] speaker_hat@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago

Ah the well known technical debt

[–] hubobes@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

with lease?

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

The trick is to get some else to shit the 🧱 when it hits the fan.

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