I've talked two people out of killing themselves.
Asklemmy
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
Whoa, good job. You seem like a great person for even taking that risk!
What kind of situations led them to that place and what do you think the solutions were respectively?
In both cases the conversations took place via texts and calls. First occasion was a friend who was being harassed and had a bunch of other not-so-great things happening in their life and they turned to me, telling me that they had the means of killing themselves right next to them. They were being harassed over an aspect of their physical appearance. I told them not to do it, because with every interaction I had with them, they were always so nice, which left an impression on me, and the opinions of anyone so vile as to harass someone for their appearance is not worth even considering. I said more than that, the conversation went on for quite a long time and then it gradually turned into more casual talk and then "see you tomorrow" at school.
Second occasion was a friend who was going through problems with a relationship. I often ask my friends how they're doing as kind of a habit, so this time they said they weren't doing well, and told me about how they felt. They didn't have a family who would listen so I was just there for them, listened to them and offered my input telling them things would get better, giving them some advice on what I'd say or do in that situation, and if they ever needed someone to talk or game with I'd always be there for them. They're doing well now!
What's your KDA?
I self published two books and am almost ready to do a third. No interest in being a famous author or making millions, just glad to get them out of my head and to know they are just what I intended them to be.
There's a smaller publishing company for small time authors in Florida (if the company is still around) Called witching hour publishing. Their whole schtick is to make publishing cheaper and easier for small time writers. Check it out, might be worth it if you are gonna be prolific.
Thanks. I've got two young kids and a busy job so not as prolific as I'd like. Maybe a book every 3-4 years, longer if it's a grand fantasy. My first one was a quarter of a million words in a world I created from scratch, so that took maybe 6 years.
You are an inspiration. :)
Speaking as someone who rarely ever writes because life keeps getting in the way but still hopes to be published someday. Every day it seems that dream gets further and further away... :(
I saw a comment recently online regarding publishing an indie video game that "nobody played" where people noted you set out to do your goal that very few people ever complete. You published. You're a winner. You accomplished your feat.
I had similar stuff with music once in my life. It never went where I or others might have hoped. But we recorded and made albums. We played tons of shows. We had a few fans. We opened for big names we loved. I feel like a winner too.
I'm not really saying this to reply to you. I'm not even sure you need to hear it. But someone out there does. Don't let others define what success or winning is. By setting out to accomplish something, and doing it, that's a winner already.
Title of the book? I am looking for some fantasy or sci fi to read.
Or I guess that might be doxxing yourself...
All these people posting inspirational stories and here I am with my first thought being "Finally saw the northern lights". Got some decent pictures too.
That is on ny bucket list! They look surreal and I would love to experience seeig them.
Honestly, just where I'm at in life. I've been pulling myself up by my bootstraps for all my life.
Grew up in bumfuck poorsville with abusive parents, joined the military, did some cool stuff, left and went to college, bought a house, graduated, sold the house, moved across country, got a job with my degree, and found a solid friendship group who encourage and care for me and vice versa.
This is all while suffering from an unseen disease that I was finally diagnosed with while in college and have been fighting against ever since.
I am proud of my achievements and I can really say to myself that I made it, despite everything, I made it.
Good on you! That's a HUGE accomplishment!!!
Talked a friend out of suicide when COVID first hit and a bunch of people lost their jobs and homes. Now he's got a pretty sweet work from home job with full benefits and his own place again. Am very happy for him.
A friend of mine once said he'd join the army only because he didn't have anything to live for, but I ended up helping him get a job on the railway and now he's a train driver, and a good one at that.
In the past 365 days I have gained almost half a million views and more than 4000 new subscribers on youtube :)
Bachelor's Degree. Not happy with the debt that came with it, and the lack of employment in the field since Covid and AI
Welcome to the truth about university. It gives you more debt than you can handle, and a job that doesn't pay enough.
On the contrary, the pay would be more than enough for me (single and alone) but actually getting the job is the hard part.
I feel that.
Spent 5 years in college, had to drop out because I ran out of money, now I work a dead-end job in retail for shit pay and like 70k in debt.
Don't do college, kids. It ain't worth it. Or, rather, do college but do community (or a trade school).
Honestly, Iβm struggling right now. Spent my 20βs waiting for something to happen that never did. Decided to change my life in my 30βs, and while I am a lot happier and more honest with myself in a lot of ways, I have also alienated people who were close to me by adopting new interests that they donβt share.
I try to meet new people, but itβs hard. The ones out socializing tend to be much younger or older than me, and the ones my age are having kids and stuff.
It has been really hard to find a balance between building the life I want to live, and not having changes isolate me to the point of loneliness.
If my wife goes, I may just have to cut everyone off and start fresh, but that terrifies me.
So, with all that, I guess Iβm proud that Iβm still trying and havenβt just given up completely and moved back in with mom like some of my contemporaries have.
Homeless at 18. First apartment at 20. Put myself through college going part time while working 2 jobs, 21-25. Bought my first home at 29. Hit 6 figures at 33. Now in the top 10% of earners in my city.
I had no one, no support network. Just me and a goal and strategic hard work every single day.
The tough part is I'm now in my mid 30s and have had very little life experience because all I've been doing is working. Never been on an airplane or have been on a vacation. No passport or friends or social life outside of 2 internet friends. It's been tough to sit down and figure out what will actually make me happy now that I've achieved my life goals.
I am down for more internet friends.
Loving myself.
Iβve bought a house, got married, published two books, do stand-up and host a small game show, survived two strokes, transitioned, and have a lot of friends who think Iβm tolerable.
Putting up with people and not murdering them.
Graduating from college, and with a 4.0. I fucking HATE school, and i put that shit off until my 30s. None of it was easy and I studied my ass off to get that 4.0. I truly never thought I would ever graduate, I started and stopped so many times.
I'll be married for 5 years next month. We haven't killed each other (yet)!
That's good news!
Being the first female on my mom's side to get a phd; being the first female to not be a teenage mother out of all my female relatives on my mom's side; being the first to practice non violent upbringing in both our families (me and my SO).
Getting a full ride scholarship for all of my academic life: Bachelor's, Master's and PHD.
Getting a green thumb after thirty and having my flowers, shrubs, ferns, fruit trees and succulents thrive.
Getting on a horse after 30+ years of not doing it after a mare threw me off.
Quitting smoking cold turkey.
Working on my self trough therapeutic work to be my most authentic self.
Exercising regularly for some years now when I came from a family that did not emphasize the importance of body movement.
I paid off my college loans in full in 2019.
I deleted my reddit account.
I'm the first person in my family to get a University degree.
I've been sober for four years now.
Iβm really proud of my job as a manager. Dropped out of uni because I only learned what seemed interesting to me (mostly tech stuff from CS) and now Iβm leading a team of devs. Cherry on top is that they like me, too. OTOH Iβm proud of my wife and children and lots of other things, like having mastered 2 foreign languages, playing piano, recorder and guitar.
Most proud that we bought a house though.
About 10 years ago I qualified to enter a state pinball tournament.
Of 16 qualifying entrants(or who could be bothered to enter), I placed 6th.
So I see it as, I was the 6th best pinball player in a state of 3million people, for a year. :-)
First person on my dad's side of the family to get a master's degree. I loved school, but I'm also very happy to be done with it haha.
Edit: maybe the first to get a bachelor's as well, but I'm not 100% sure about that. In any case, I'm proud to have gone through all that. Learned a lot.
My brain is not wired to be proud of things (chase the process!).
But i think achievements that I would put on my resume of life:
- Smoked for 15 years, quit, now 10+ years, nifty to think of. (i like number go up)
- Still alive even though i never thought that would happen a lot of times in my life, keep on keeping on
- I have released a bunch of cool music with other people and it has been a 'getting out of hand' hobby also for the past 15+ years
- Up until now haven't screwed up the next generation bonus-mini-me, today was their first day in high school, so pretty proud of them (not my achievement though, i just supported along the way).
Graduated high school with a 5.0 to go to college to major in sysadmin
Help a non American, is 5.0 good or bad? Whatβs the range you can get?
American here, 4.0 should be the max, I have no idea how they have a 5.0
Many things. Stopped smoking, started eating healthier, cooking, doing sports, going to therapy, stopped hating myself, learning to handle my income appropriately so I donβt live credit to credit anymore, getting a dog (now my second) be nice to people and get nice back. All spread out over the last ten years since I had a breakdown when I turned 30.
Meditate without moving for 2 hours took a lot of effort to work up to. Couldnβt do 5 minutes when I started.
I know I shouldn't have even started, but I did, quitting smoking and drinking. It was really, really hard.
Good job!
There's things that I like about myself that I cannot put into words; it's more a feeling.
Quitting the for-profit sector for political and moral reasons. Not easy and it's still a struggle, but I keep going.
Honestly I am really proud of everything in my life. I have learned English all by myself and I have always helped people around school with it which made me (plus being good looking and an interesting person) made me "the popular kid" in the school. In high school I was in a boys only school which really made me anxious when I speak with a girl my age. Guess that's what happens when you don't talk to a single girl of your age for 4 years. I'm not joking. I really have no female friends.
Another thing I'm proud of is my knowledge on computers. Which I assume is the majority here so I'll skip that.
I have befriended people of many types. Some were confident, outgoing people. And some were anxious, shy, insecure people. The kind of people that are afraid of making eye contact with you when speaking. I have seen those people change around me. I learned that simply listening engaging in conversation with them opens them up. And now those people are not shy anymore! They engage in activities with other people and are happy. My companionship helped them navigate through their issues and they realized that if a person such as me listens and cares about them, there are people out there that will. And I'm really proud of myself for changing their lives.
All of them. Even the ones I would do differently does not mean I am not proud of the effort and character it took to achieve. There are a few times in particular though. All revolve around standing up and doing the right thing, even when it was small. Those after school specials are corney but it does take a lot to go against the crowd and go with what seems right.