all lines not terminated by a single space are comments
this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2024
847 points (97.9% liked)
Programmer Humor
32361 readers
439 users here now
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
There's a special place in hell for you
Also each line starts with a semicolon and you have to escape spaces in strings using a double forward slash
I realized a while ago that there's nothing stopping me from writing rust like this
;println!("This is great")
;println!("I think everyone should write rust like this")
;println!("Probably works in most languages that use semicolons")
;
Also a spicial place in hell for you
Can we add the comefrom function too?
load more comments
(2 replies)
It uses XML-like syntax:
<fun>
<name>sum</name>
<in>
<int>foo</int>
<int>bar=0</int>
</in>
<out><int>foo+bar</int></out>
</fun>
This deserves to be added to the list of human rights violations
<fun>
<name>sum</name>
<in>
<int>
<name>foo</name>
</int>
<int>
<name>bar</name>
<default_value>
<int>0</int>
</default_value>
</int>
</in>
<out>
<int>
<calculation>
<numerical_operation>
<operator_plus>
<operand>
<var>foo</var>
</operand>
<operand>
<var>bar</var>
</operand>
</operator_plus>
</numerical_operation>
</calculation>
</int>
</out>
</fun>
How did you come up with such a ****ingly stupid syntax?!
They probably have experience with Spring
I imagined what an Elasticsearch query style Python XML syntax would look like.You must share my pain.
That's grotesque and you have my condolences
load more comments
(2 replies)
Welcome to the world of abusing the shit out of Ant. My first full time job was developing Ant in unholy ways. Tens of thousands of lines of Ant at least, doing significant logic. If-then-else, for loops, math, procedures, date-time math. I stuck it out for a year. It was a year too long.
load more comments
(1 replies)
The whitespace is not only required, but it must be tabs and spaces.
Calm down, Satan
Compiler rolls the dice if your only required indentation is accepted as space or tab. Per line.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Can you please link to a medium article on how this will help utilize AI blockchain so i can show it to management on Monday?
I like it, this is clearly very enterprisey and solution focused, but I would like to suggest a couple of amendments if I may?
-
Namespaces We should make full use of namespaces. Make the structural tags be in a language specific namespace (to be referenced in every function spec, obviously) but change the in an out params to use the parameter name as the tag, namespaced to the function they're for, with a
typeattribute. -
In memory message queues Have all function invocations be marshaled as xml documents posted to an in memory message queue. Said documents should use a schema that validates the structure and a function specific schema to validate the types of arguments being passed. Namespace everything.
I reckon we could power a medium sided country if we could generate energy from the programmers despair.
Make sure to make ample use of mixed content elements.
<statement><var>bar</var> = <int>0</int></statement>
load more comments
(4 replies)
You monster
Oh my, I feel woozy …
load more comments
(6 replies)
…and it’s compiled
...but intended for web, but you can also misuse it for apps and system services
...to an intermediate set of instructions for a virtual machine...
...called the brainfuck interpreter
Brainfuck.NET Interpreter that uses modified Java bytecode instructions.
Yes brainfuck with some Java Bytecode instructions for syscalls.
Confusion like this got me my current job. They were looking for somebody with experience in "Microsoft Endpoint Configuration Manager", and I look that up and I'm like "Oh, that's SCCM, I do that". Go through the interview process they keep asking me if I know Endpoint Configuration Manager and I'm like "yeah, for sure". I get the job. Day one, the other systems engineer is like "here is the link to our Endpoint Manager Tenant", and I'm like "oh... Shit I have never ever used this"
Well... Ends up Endpoint Configuration Manager and Endpoint Manager are two different things. Fortunately for me they are pretty similar in function and rely on knowledge of Windows and Powershell, which I know.
So my first 2 weeks of work was taking a shitload of courses in Endpoint Manager and watching a lot of videos and learning it inside and out.
2 years later and I'm an Endpoint Manager/Intune pro.
90% of IT and software jobs are "I have common sense, know how to look up information, and my boss is intimidated by my work so they don't question it."
Or make a language named everything so you can say "i program in everything"
load more comments
(2 replies)
Make it completely untyped. Everything's just a string.
I think white space should be used to represent basic functions too. For example 3 spaces can be used to sum two values while 4 spaces can be used to subtract.
load more comments
(1 replies)
And its syntax is nothing like python haha
Make it purely functional, lisp based with reversed Polish notation and APL symboles, I dare you mf
Make it completely ignore indentation
Make sure it's not whitespace sensitive and requires explicit typing, just to mess with everyone.
Make it so the capitalization affects the scope.
Oh wait.
(Sorry, I recently had to switch to golang for work, and I'm just not used to it yet, and I'm getting annoyed by some of these design decisions)
Just today I heard someone whining about how in LinkedIn and other recruitment sites there's like five bazillion profile tag options for RDMBSes and various dialects of SQL... when in actuality the recruiters are probably only concerned if the developer can do a bloody SELECT and stuff.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Just call it Script.
Screw it. Let's actually make python script an ISA that gets run on physical hardware with no higher level tooling. Then we can have the python virtual environment which runs this for fools who don't have the right hardware. Finally, when people start complaining about naming we make Python Script 2.1, which is a JIT language built on top of IL that looks nothing like either of them but can emulate both python and python script with the performance cost of being a quarter as fast as both.
load more comments
(3 replies)
There is a Tiger Jyhton version for the web https://www.tigerjython.ch/en
But at least just for educational purposes😅
PythonSharp Script Java Edition
Make a UX or Project management tool with “Java” in the name so newbie recruiters look for people in the wrong department.
They already do this, but this would make them do it even more.
What if every variable would have to use a pointer that points to a reference of the data in a central array. In normal languages you'd need a variable to store said array, but what if it too has to reference itself in itself, so we get some funky recursion.
So the matlab thing where all lines not terminated by semi colon are printed except use Greek question marks instead of semi colons.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Make CScript, an interpreted, duck-typed language
view more: next ›