You might want to consider working either hourly or on a project basis as a contractor. You would have deliverables with deadlines you could meet them on your own time, or simply bill for the time you spend.

You can perhaps look into “midlance” where you have a middle man getting a cut who is responsible for lining up work for you (after which you manage the relationship with the client).

Maybe more common where I live but vacancies will sometimes mention “flexible hours” explicitly, especially remote jobs. Then you can ask them clarify in the interview what their prospective on flexibility looks like.

I don't know if there are agencies focussing on this, but in general it probably comes down to the company more than the agency. Probably worth filtering for companies offering flexible hours in the description

I would say at the moment the IT job market is incredibly competitive for candidates, so it might be even more difficult to find truly flex roles when they can so easily find 100s of people who just work regular hours.

On your last question: I've been a hiring manager in 2 companies (although in the UK) for software engineers and adjacent roles (like devops, platform, QA) and I would not care whether someone needs equipment. In the big scheme of things spending $800 for a monitor, keyboard and mouse is not even a drop in the bucket for the cost of an employee. What I would want to know is how do you work in a team in your situation and what arrangement can we do where you have a good experience, but other people in the company can still count on you. E.g. if you are working on a project and an issue pops up that's blocking others from progressing and we need you to discuss, but you're having a bad day and not working, what are the options you can offer? Or what if you get blocked when everyone else is asleep so you can't progress?

I think being prepared and upfront about this in an early stage of interviewing would be ideal, it signals that you have thought about others around you and also weed out any companies who aren't willing to make this arrangement work. That being said, as above it's a very competitive market right now so chances are pretty slim (at least in the UK).

Also keep in mind once you look at companies who hire from abroad, you're now also competing with (comparably) cheap labour from developing countries, who will likely agree to much worse terms.

Edit: one thing I forgot, you may have the option to be your own boss (depending on your skill level) and freelance on a project basis rather than on a per-day basis.

If you are able to find a US govt job and can make it through the whatever period you need to be a contractor until you get hired on as a federal employee, this should cover you. I have a contact in a similar situation except cluster headaches. It’s going to pay less than private sector and you might have to learn some new skills for the right role. IIRC Softrams just landed a huge federal contract and hires warm bodies; might be a great place to start.

I’ve got a lot of contacts on the market right now struggling to land a gig that wouldn’t have struggled a few years ago. Do you have DevOps skills? Any security qualifications? Get both. Are you working on certs? Do some. Have you hired a resume service? Do so. The last two are things I normally think are kinda bullshit but they are edges that seem to matter right now.

As for a recruiting firm, I feel like all the good recruiters I’ve worked with would have advocated for me. That’s a total fucking crapshoot tho. I’ve worked with plenty that have shafted me. I don’t think there’s a specific firm for this problem.

I had a very good experience with Honeypot (https://www.honeypot.io/en/). It's Europe only, so not sure about the legal aspects of working from the US, but Germany have recently did some changes to laws related to work visas specifically to attract tech workers, so it shouldn't be that hard. You speak German, so that's a big plus.

It's a "reverse" job search, in the sense that you create your profile/CV and companies apply to you. After creating your profile, you do a short call with a recruiter, that helps you adjust it to the type of job you are looking for.

Tons of remote jobs out there, probably a higher percentage for startup jobs. Most remote places will have people in different time zones and some sort of core hours they expect people to be in, but having some discussion you’ll probably be able to find one that’s accommodating.

One good site to start looking:

https://wellfound.com/remote

Good luck

That's all good but why does it sound like you're punishing yourself by taking a pay cut and working 16 hour days? Can't you get on disability? You can for example be 20% disabled or 40%. This will allow you to work normal hours, have a normal income and extra rights and benefits. You might want to call your municipality and ask what's possible and get informed.