this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 34 comments
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[–] Norgur@fedia.io 84 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

I like my dick thoroughly unguillotined, thank you very much

[–] aodhsishaj@lemmy.world 45 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Norgur@fedia.io 73 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's what the "I" at the beginning stands for. You guillotine yourself as much as you want.

[–] Shadowedcross@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Still counts

[–] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

How do you know, have you even tried?

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I bet you're not even gona fap to that

[–] Norgur@fedia.io 10 points 3 months ago

I wouldn't go that far.

[–] Senseless@feddit.de 2 points 3 months ago

Joke's on you. Twice, and I'm not even done reading the comments.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

We get it, you're not Jewish.

[–] flicker@lemmy.world 55 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This article is hilarious and I'm already a gym bunny but the idea that I could snap one off is awakening something weird in me.

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 42 points 3 months ago

I volunteer as tribute

[–] p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

But why ;-;

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 54 points 3 months ago (1 children)

https://reductress.com/post/4-exercises-thatll-make-your-vagina-so-tight-it-becomes-a-dick-guillotine/

For people who don't want to read the article and as a long time practicer, the exercises are kegels, squats, glute bridges, and medicine bell sit-ups.

[–] Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I think this is the kind of sensationalist headline I can get behind.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] nifty@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

From the movie Teeth, in case anyone is wondering

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 3 months ago

I... was not. But, thank you.

[–] daltotron@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Will these exercises work on the butthole as well? asking for a friend asking for a friend

[–] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 4 points 3 months ago

Buttholes are usually pretty strong already

[–] CCF_100@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 months ago

~~new bottom surgery just dropped~~

[–] proper@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

just gonna upvote and see myself out

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 months ago

*Wench Revolution

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I shall resist the urge to google this, to see if it is real...

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

Fun fact: It's called a "french kiss" because you're supposed to bite their tongue off.

[–] molten@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Looks like 'King Richard' is finally gonna be executed boys!

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago

Teeth as told by Parisians

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 3 months ago

La Blue Girl vibes.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Vive my pants

[–] detective__bunk@real.lemmy.fan 1 points 3 months ago

Just use vinegar.