this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 123 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

I don't understand why people are making it such a big deal. Jesus died, yes, but he has risen from the dead after a few days. So basically he only died for a weekend, for the human race. "Oh what a brave man! He gave up his weekend!" There are other people who did much more for the human race, like Fritz Haber for example. Also, necromancy isn't allowed according to the bible, so zombie Jesus broke the rules.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 34 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

zombie Jesus broke the rules

Even living Jesus broke the rules. According to the ~~fanfic~~ gospel of John, Lazarus was dead for four days before Jesus resurrected him. It's where the line "Jesus wept" comes from.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The entire bible if filled with contradicting stories, with incest, child abuse and murder. Nice book as reference for a better life 👌

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Realistically, the Bible is a compilation of cherry-picked stories ranging from historical fiction to high fantasy, written by dudes who weren't alive at the time, in a language nobody speaks anymore, translated a dozen times, losing important historical and grammatical context each time, with parts added/removed/rewritten at the ruling political and religious leaders' fancy. I want to read the version where a Bethlehem resident wanted to confirm Mary's post-natal virginity by hand, but the pope won't let me.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

Damn. It isn't dope the pope said nope.

Also, the book is interpreted the way people want to interpret as an excuse to support their bad behavior. It's veeeeeery convenient there are so many versions out there, as a result of loose translations and copying by hand by monks for several hundred years. Just pick the version you like the most and you're free to abuse kids and be a racist homophobe transphobe piece of shit.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

If any gospel is least fanfic it’s John. The Synoptics are younger

[–] tryagain@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"fanfic" absolutely sent me. That's exactly what it is. Stealing!

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] tryagain@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

Zombie Jesus will surely forgive us

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fritz Haber for example

I mean....... Haber isn't exactly a giant of morality and ethics. He did invent most of the chemical weapons utilized in WW1, and expressly defended their use as weapons.

[–] phobiac@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He tried to kill people and ended up helping feed the world, then he tried to feed people and ended up helping the Holocaust. The guy is a fascinating historical figure but definitely a was a monster.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, and helping feed people wasn't exactly his original motivation for the haber-bosch process either. During the late 19th century empires were running low on natural sources of nitrates for making gun powder, as the British had held a near monopoly of the guano mines in South America and India.

Judging by this, his time as an artillery man for the prussians, his combustion research after he finished the haber process, and his over all obsession with creating weapons of war..... It's pretty safe to assume fertilizer was an afterthought.

[–] phobiac@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I wasn't super clear but that's what I was referring to with the "tried to kill people, and helped feed people instead".

When he tried to feed people he came up with what eventually was used to make Zyklon-B.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

Oh, nope. Rereading it, you're totally right. Just a little of my dyslexia seeping in lol. My bad!

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Jesus wasn't a zombie, Jesus was a lich.

Edit: found the pic!

[–] Sonor@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m kinda bummed out about necromancy though :/

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah me too, my favorite hobby but instead I'm only allowed to indoctrinate kids.

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fritz Haber... For the Haber-Bosch process or chemical weapons?

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

During WW1 he killed millions by developing chlorine gas, among other poisoness gasses, but he saves billions by discovering how to synthesize fertilizer. Without that discovery, most of the world population would have died from starvation, if not all.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You can lean to scientists like Norman Borlaug who saved billions without becoming a merchant of death.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but where's the fun in that. Than Jesus died for nothing haha

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fossil fuel based fertilizer has also contributed to global inequality - synthetic fertilizer is 3-4 times cheaper in Europe than Africa.

And the cheapness of nitrogen fertilizer has led to massive problems with too much fertilizer ending up in the ocean, sparking algae blooms and subsequent oxygen starvation. Just look at the Baltic Sea.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but who cares about Africa and climate, rich white people have stocked up supermarkets with products from around the world. Like New Zealand wine next to Chile wine in stores in France. Like.... Ok... Australian mineral water in the Netherlands... With the highest quality tap water ever...

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

atmospheric nitrogen is a fossil fuel
the fertiliser made itself more expensive in africa

run-off is a huge problem, though

[–] inv3r510n@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Capitalists be like “Jesus gave up his weekend, you can too!”

[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Dead Friday night and alive by sunrise Sunday morning. 18 hours dead at most.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't know how long days are where you live, but dead Friday night and alive on Sunday morning means he was dead the entire Saturday, which over here means he has been dead for at least 24h plus the hours on Friday night and Sunday morning. Still kinda lame, dead for a few hours for the entire human race, both in the past and future. Is that all it takes?

[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I meant to say 36 but it was before I had my coffee.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Those are the moments I usually fuck up too. If Jesus would have died for 2 more days, maybe we wouldn't need our black god juice to function normally. But no, Jesus was a lazy fuck.

[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

For some reason I am most inclined to comment on lemmy in the morning while my coffee is brewing. The absolute worst time for brain activity.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Hahaha yeah me too

[–] belastend@slrpnk.net 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Nah, nights dont count, he was asleep.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Fuck no, bunch of hookers and cocain, sleeping is for losers.