this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
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A reminder for the uncivilized savages from a very civilized gentleman with a sweet smelling asshole: WASH YOUR ASS WITH WATER. USE A BIDET OR A BUM GUN.
Why are Americans okay with shooting up schools but not ok with shooting up their own assholes?! Bum guns also don't require reloading! You can fire as much as you want! Use Bum guns π.
Iβm a heavy shitter, I shit alot and I shit so much my ass crack looks like caramelized fondu. When I go outside flys swarm around my ass and get stuck on my sticky ass crack. Everyone would avoid me in the local Walmart when I shop for gaming supplies (Doritos and Dr Pepper mostly). I have difficultly wiping because I canβt physically reach under there and I canβt stand up in the shower. One day my mom told me to lose weight (yeah thanks for bullying me again mom π) and I know Iβm a little heavy at the moment because I have to use cooking oil to greese up the doorframes so I can squeeze through but thatβs only because of capitalism shrinking all the rental apartments and cramming as many people in as possible. Anyway I was playing Amongus and one of my femboy friends told me about bidgets. At first I was like βhuh?β and he explained that because he plays Genshin he cannot physically leave the house or bathe and he has a special toilet that cleans his butthole for him. So I ordered one off Amazon and my god it is the best thing ever, now this device shoots water up my asshole and poof! No more shit streaked stretch pants woohoo!
What a terrible day to be literate in this masterful world you have created.
That's amazing! Btw, what's ur femboy friend's snap?
I'm afraid to Google this. What is a bum gun. I already have a bidet.
This beauty
Oh I think my sink has one of those will have to try it out
That's a pussy phone
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!
Oh. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.
Super soaker with a 1200 psi stream focusing attachment
I love the name bum gun
I love bums
If paper is good enough for wiping the shit from my hands, itβs good enough for wiping the shit from my ass.
And this is why I don't like handshakes.
As a child I was to taught to use a Lota and I have never used anything else. Is that grosser than toilet paper or better?
A less elegant solution, sure. But much better than using paper for god's sake!