get_off_the_phone

Better Tate than Taint.

Crab rave anyone?

Every time I have a fever, I vividly dream in the style of that dream sequence from Dumbo. Absolutely terrifying.

Sure everyone has heard of Stephen King and most know know of Dean Koontz. But 10 year old me wants to give a shout out to the best of em, R.L. Stine.

Remember those curly telephone cords that stretched out to like 40ft when your mom walked around the house while on the phone and you had to dodge the cord like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment? And then the cord shrunk back to like 8ft when she hung the phone back on the cradle on the wall. And the next time your mom hung up the phone, the cord was like 10ft long with a bunch of kinks and twists. And the next time she hung the cord was like 12ft long and starting to bunch on the floor. And eventually there was like 30ft of telephone cord on the floor under the cradle that just gets kicked out of the way into the nearest corner and collects dust bunnies until the next time the phone rings and your mom answers and walks all around the house like she always does. (I could keep going but I don't know where it will end.) Remember those curly telephone cords?

You need a curly ethernet cord like that for your watch. It could help to get around.

Also, what model watch do you have that has an ethernet port? My watch works fine but my gf is always complaining about a rock solid connection so I'm thinking about getting a new one.

Ok, maybe I'm ignorant, maybe I found the phrase "body fart" hilarious, maybe both. But can someone please tell me what is the difference between a regular fart and a body fart?

Yeah but I bet they ate their chili with spaghetti.

You gotta remember that in the Old World, 100 years is not a long time. It's only like 30 years. So in the 90s, they were 100 years ago and hadn't invented flashlights yet so they used torches instead.

Has anyone here heard of wall-bong or is it just something my cousins invented?

I bet you now smell great, like Mother's crazy sister Kate.

You can make the bacon more crispy if you layer the bacon between sheets of aluminum foil.

Why do most of the comments in this thread match exactly with the comments in the linked reddit thread?